Allergic Boyfriend Attempts To Rehome Girlfriend's Cat Without Her Permission, Internet Destroys Him In The Comments In AITA Reddit Thread

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Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Mar 29, 2023 12:00 PM EDT

Let's call the boyfriend Ronald and the girlfriend Rebecca in this scenario. Ronald and Rebecca are happily in a relationship (or so we think) and they decide to take the big step to move in together. Rebecca has a cat, Riley, who she's had for 8 years. During Ronald and Rebecca's relationship until this point, Ronald didn't know he was allergic to cats.

When Rebecca and Riley moved in, Ronald found out he was allergic. He attempted allergy pills, shots, and even consulted professionals, but nothing helped. So, instead of having a conversation with Rebecca about how he was feeling with the allergies, Ronald went secretly to people who "would be happy" to take in Riley, without asking Rebecca first. He presented the idea to her, and of course, Rebecca left angrily with Riley. Are you team Rebecca, or team Ronald?

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  • 01
    Font - AITA for asking my girlfriend to give away her cat?
    via u/[deleted]
  • 02
    Font - Original (with edits due to limited character count): To give some background, my girlfriend (f23) and I (m24) have been dating for almost 2 years and, after we both discussed moving in together, I asked her to move-in to my apartment (its much larger than her's, so it made sense) She and her cat, Riley, moved-in and it was great. She has had Riley for 8 years now and it brought her tons of happiness. The issue is I am allergic to cats...like super allergic. I didn't know this was a probl
    via u/[deleted]
  • 03
    Font - After she moved in though, my allergies became severe. I started developing hives, I start coughing, and it became difficult for me to breathe. I tried seeking medication and I tried 3 different antihistamines (got desensitized) and the allergy shots (tried them for two months, saw no difference and had to quit due to mounting cost). Eventually, after this, I decided to ask my girlfriend to give away her cat. But, as I wanted Riley to have a great home I made a list of possible people tha
    via u/[deleted]

    The thing we don't understand there is that her place must be covered in cat hair. Did he never spend more than a few hours there? How are his allergies so much worse in their shared apartment than her apartment, alone, with the cat?

  • 04
    Font - Other things I could add to above (condensed): - Also, y'all are treating me like a doctor. This is my first year in medical school. I am not a doctor. Like I have just gotten in and I've been in medical school for maybe 5 months. Cut me some slack. - Some of you have found out my real-identity and are now sending me messages on my instagram. I get this is a very heated topic for some of you but please don't do that. I would like to keep this conversation on my reddit account.
    via u/[deleted]

    This is where the internet goes too far. People, please, let's keep things civil. These are real people with real problems, and it's far more complicated than a simple online thread where people just shout their opinions at each other.

  • 05
    Font - Jessicamorrell . 1 mo. ago Partassipant [3] YTA. You should never ask someone with a pet to just get rid of it like that. Pets become people's family. Go back to living seperately and see a specialist about your allergies. 5.9k Share
    via u/Jessicamorrell
  • 06
    Font - mel122676. 1 mo. ago Asshole Enthusiast [8] He didn't even ask, though. He made plans to do it, and then told her. 2.3k Share
    via u/mel122676
  • 07
    Font - hanadecks 1 mo. ago no offense but i'm pretty sure she'd rather keep the cat 2.6k Share
    via u/hanadecks
  • 08
    Font - Own_Faithlessness769 1 mo. ago Partassipant [2]] This wouldnt even be a question for me, I would just laugh if man told me to get rid of my cat.
    via u/Own_Faithlessness769
  • 09
    Font - InkedAlly 1 mo. ago . Partassipant [4] YTA The cat has been longer in her life than you have. How comes you didn't know about the allergy before you moved in? Why haven't you spent a few days at her place before? It seems like you won't be moving in together yet because you do not rehome a family member. (And most people would dump their partners right away if they ever suggested to get rid of their pets. Truth be told, I've always asked about cat allergies before dating and it was a deal
    via u/InkedAlly
  • 10
    Font - Left-Occasion-8445 1 mo. ago YTA. You decided to try to find a home for Riley BEFORE even asking your GF. That's nervy. I'm sorry you're allergic but don't be surprised if she chooses Riley. 1.2k Share
    via u/Left-Occasion-8445
  • 11
    Font - Significant_Cat_3 1 mo. ago Partassipant [2] Honestly it sounds like she might be more upset that you put so much thought into this (making a list of potential re-homes) before even asking her. You counted your chickens before they hatched. To her it may have sounded more like a command rather than an actual ask. Or at least was upset that you would even suggest rehoming the cat in general after having it for so long. TBH if she has been aware of your allergies for a while and hasn't alre
    via u/Significant_Cat_3
  • 12
    Font - funchefchick. 1 mo. ago So you find yourself in this unfortunate situation and rather than sitting down with your partner and saying "I love you, I love Riley, but I am seriously struggling with these severe cat allergies. Can we talk about strategies and possible options together ?" YOUR big idea was to present her a list of families/homes for her to abruptly rehome her beloved pet with zero notice or discussion?? SERIOUSLY?! Dude. YTA. And I suspect the cat will not be a problem for muc
    via u/funchefchick
  • 13
    Font - FluffyMogster 1 mo. ago YTA. Your girlfriend needs to find someone to take you in. Not a shelter, obviously, but some kind friends.
    via u/FluffyMogster
  • 14
    Font - strangely_awesome 1 mo. ago Partassipant [3] INFO: When you say you made a list - so had you discussed this with the people on the list? Because I would not be happy that my boyfriend discussed the possibility of rehoming my cat with a list of other people before raising the issue with me. And if you didn't discuss it with them the list is pretty meaningless because how do you know they are able/willing to take in the cat?
    via u/strangely_awesome
  • 15
    Font - Doll_girl516 1 mo. ago YTA ! She's had the cat for 8 years and you for 2 ... as a cat mom you couldn't pay me all the money in the world to get rid of him. She should move back out keep cat and I guess you as well if she must
    via u/Doll_girl516
  • 16
    Font - JCaerso92 1 mo. ago Asshole Enthusiast [5] NAH. I can understand you not wanting to be around an animal you're allergic to, it's fair to not want those symptoms triggered, and you looking into homes for Riley that are people who you know would look after him shows thought and care. But at the same time, you don't usually have a pet for eight years and not love them and consider them part of your family, and she doesn't want to give him away to anyone because she wants him with her. It's a
    via u/JCaerso92
  • 17
    Font - AlHazard33 1 mo. ago edited 1 mo. ago Asshole Enthusiast [7] Yes, YTA. This proposal of getting rid of her cat is not okay. This cat was in her life longer than you were. The best option is getting back to living separately. Best for your health and her well-being. And look into therapy options for your allergy. There are ways to lessen the effect and medications that can help as well. Looking at your edit: You will have to live separately then, if meds don't work. You can move in with ea
    via u/AlHazard33
  • 18
    Font - catbakesandmakes 1 mo. ago This being the sub and website this is, perhaps I shouldn't be surprised, but wow. The lack of logic and basic empathy and understanding in this particular thread is astounding. I don't usually comment on these but I really feel the need to now. 2
    via u/catbakesandmakes
  • 19
    Font - NTA!!! And here's why 1. I am an actual M.D. I finished Med school last year and am working towards getting my subspecialty. O.P. is absolutely right that he is being held to a ridiculous standard by STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET WHO PROBABLY HAVE VERY LITTLE MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE THEMSELVES. He is A FIRST YEAR. The amount of people who approach me knowing I'm a doctor expecting me to know everything about their disease and be able to manage it like a subspecialist would is just insane. Here's th
    via u/catbakesandmakes
  • 20
    Font - 2. I adore animals, all kinds, and am borderline crazy about my dogs and my cat. They are legitimately my babies and yes, if an SO didn't like animals and wasn't willing to live with them, it would definitely be a dealbreaker. I understand! I love them so much and I would not want to part with them. That being said, that is NOT AT ALL the issue here between OP and his girlfriend. This is a new problem that arose AFTER moving in and it sounds like he is having a really shitty time. Allergi
    via u/catbakesandmakes
  • 21
    Font - out where our relationship was headed. The fact that it doesn't seem like she was thinking about this or considering it speaks volumes to me. 3. Yes, perhaps his way of approaching the issue was a bit tactless in her eyes, but I think it's a bit sweet and I understand his mindest. To me it seems like he was trying to say "I care about your pet's wellbeing so I thought this proposal through thoroughly before presenting it so you wouldn't think I didn't care about their welfare and you woul
    via u/catbakesandmakes

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opinion boyfriend cat aita comments allergic allergies internet debate relationships girlfriend angry reddit thread Reddit Cats trouble animals
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