'I'm not a gold digger': Party bros make sexist jokes about woman, she embarrasses everyone by revealing her finances

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Apr 8, 2023 11:00 AM EDT

After reading this, all we can say is, "Dump your boyfriend." 

This partygoer shared her story of a terrible encounter with her BF's friends at a party. The woman wrote to r/AmItheA**hole to tell her side of the story. As she writes, she and her BF both work in tech, although she makes nearly double what he does. The couple went to a party together, where they mingled with the BF's friends. But these guys sound absolutely awful to have a conversation with. First, the OP tried to talk about her fun hobbies unrelated to work. For some reason, the bros at this party didn't want to talk about outdoor activities since the spent all day outside. If that doesn't make much sense to you, you're not alone. The OP tried to avoid talking about her job, but it seems like the BF's tech friends just used any information she disclosed against her. Finally, she got so fed up that she said something drastic. 

Next, this couple is dealing with some downstairs neighbors who are unbearably loud — and they shared their plan for revenge as they plan their move out date. 

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  • 01
    Light - 'AITA for telling my boyfriend's friends I make twice what he does?'
    via Fidel Fernando on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - o GBN r/AmItheA e Posted by u/notAGold DiggerX 10 318 15 S14 2 AITA for telling my boyfriend's friends I make twice what he does, when they called me a gold digger and he didn't defend me? 2
    via u/notAGoldDiggerX
  • 03
    Font - I'm in a relationship with a guy who also works in tech. He makes 68k and I make 130k. I am a mechanical engineer at a robotics startup. He works at a more stable job doing programming at a large company.
    via u/notAGoldDiggerX
  • 04
    Font - He brought me to meet his friends at a party and they asked me about myself. His friends mostly work in tech too and talked about themselves in terms of their jobs.
    via u/notAGoldDiggerX
  • 05
    Font - I told them I'm an hiker, I do archery, I love road trips and camping and riding dirtbikes, etc. Basically talking about my hobbies because work is just a way to get paid to do the s I love. It's not how I define myself and it doesn't come to mind when someone wants me to tell them about myself.
    via u/notAGoldDiggerX
  • 06
    Font - One of his friends asked about work and I said "Oh gosh, I don't wanna talk about work at a party! Spent my whole day sweating my as off in 95 degree heat trying to replace this busted a motor just to find the replacement part was also fed."
    via u/notAGoldDiggerX
  • 07
    Font - I wasn't lying or trying to downplay that I have a good job, that really is how I spent my day, and I wasn't in the mood to talk shop at a party! Some other conversations came up casually that probably also made me seem poorer like me saying that car dealership repairs were a ripoff, and telling my boyfriend that my childhood neighbors trailer caught on fire and I was gonna visit and help her out
    via u/notAGoldDiggerX
  • 08
    Font - I wasn't doing it on purpose, I was literally just talking about my life, but I guess I gave the impression I was poorer It got later in the night, everyone was getting drunker, and some of his friends (not close ones tho) were making jokes about me growing up in a trailer and being a gold digger. And being ready to jump to a richer guy. Really misogynistic s honestly, since they don't even know me and seemed to just assume all girls are good diggers.
    via u/notAGoldDiggerX
  • 09
    Font - He didn't say anything. He later said it was because he'd smoked and gets quiet and has trouble carrying on a quick conversation when he's felt hurt he didn't say anything. But regardless I I got irritated with his friends and asked "Now why the he would you say that when I make twice what he does?" His friends went quiet for a second and I continued saying "There ain't no gold to dig here, not with him or anyone at this party. So do y'all think I'm cheap, or do y'all think I'm stupid?
    via u/notAGoldDiggerX
  • 10
    Font - My boyfriend wanted to leave the party shortly after and he was pretty upset with me for telling everyone I make twice what he does. I said I would have held my tongue if he'd checked his friends himself. But he didn't say anything so I wasn't about to let them talk to me like that. He said it was humiliating and now everyone thinks I'm a b and I flippantly said "at least they know I'm a rich b"
    via u/notAGoldDiggerX
  • 11
    Font - He was angry I embarrassed him when I spoke up, I was angry I had to say anything at all because his friends were talking s so it should be on him to check them. Stuff is still tense. AITA for explaining why I'm not a gold digger?
    via u/notAGoldDiggerX
  • 12
    Font - cassity282 A dump him. Enthusiast [5] hope your freind didnt loose to much in the fire. and im glad your doing well for yourself. find yourself a guy thats worth it. this aint it. ΝΤΑ
    via u/cassity282
  • 13
    Font - Taiwan Bandit As Enthusiast [6] Agree. OP did a nice job standing up for herself in front of feckless bf.
    via u/TaiwanBandit
  • 14
    Font - salymander_1 That is it in a nutshell. He didn't mind OP being humiliated, did he? But as soon as OP said she made more money he got all upset, and defended himself by saying he was high. What a tool. Oh, and TA. His friends are TA also. Sexist, shallow jerks like that don't seem like much fun. No one likes to spend their free time being interrogated and disparaged by a bunch of jacka es. They sound like they think they know the way the world works, and yet are wilfully ignorant about so
    via u/salymander_1
  • 15
    Font - noizangel NTA. Enjoy your awesome life, rich Please prevent the robot uprising. 6.4k Share notAGold DiggerX OP I don't have to try, the biggest secret about robotics is how stupid robots actually are
    via u/noizangel
  • 16
    Font - TCTX73 Supreme Court Just-a [100] NTA, his friends sound like those dudes that whine that they can't get gfs, think they deserve super models, but then are complete misogynists. BF got his ego bruised that you let it be known you our- earn him, he'll get over it or he's stuck in the patriarchal ideal that the man is supposed to be the main breadwinner.
    via u/ТСТХ73
  • 17
    Font - notAGold DiggerX OP You're so right. Before they started s talking me specifically, they were talking about how hard it is to work in tech and find a woman who wants you for more than your money. (I think what they meant to say was that it was hard for them to work in tech and find a woman who wants them. Full stop.) Like I don't even think it was about me, I think they just had this idea in their heads about how women are and I was just a convenient woman nearby to make an example of. Li
    via u/notAGoldDiggerX

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boyfriend friends relationships finances gold digger Party partying money embarrassing
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