Update: 'She *always* finds a way not to pay': Woman brings SIL's wallet to restaurant, SIL finds the post and tells her side of the story

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    Food - 'AITA for bringing my SIL's wallet to the restaurant when she conveniently always forgets it?' UPDATE
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    Font - 0,20 r/AmItheA Parta pant [1] (+ 4 532 2 Posted by u/Slow-Pianist-4431 82 3 72 AITA for bringing my SIL's wallet to the restaurant when she conveniently always forgets it? Not the A-hole Edit: update on profile My (f28) SIL "Amy" (f26) always comes to visit from out of town. She stays with us instead of a hotel, and always wants to go to expensive restaurants. She always conveniently forgets her wallet, or domes up with some excuses as to why she can't pay her share. She has implied that
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    Font - She had made a reservation at an extremely expensive restaurant last night, and before we left, I made it clear that I wouldn't be paying her bill. This is where I might be the a and I'll admit I got this move straight from and episode of Two and a Half men. As we were leaving, her and my husband went to the car. I pretended I forgot something and went back inside. I found her wallet sitting right on top of her suitcase. I put it in my purse and we went to the restaurant.
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    Font - So AITA for taking her wallet and bringing it to the restaurant? Edit: Wow, thanks for all the awards!!! Jeez lol! So many comments that I can't keep up, but thank you to everyone who had something to say.
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    Font - Edit 2: Amy just called me, she saw this post and she yelled at me for "badmouthing" her on the internet. Honestly I don't care. Amy, hopefully reading all these comments is a wake up call for you.
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    Font - u/Slow-Pianist-4431 Posted by u/Slow-Pianist-4431 2 Update: AITA for bringing my SIL's wallet to the restaurant when she conveniently always forgets it?
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    Font - Some answers to common questions Why does DH keep letting Amy in? Without getting into too much detail, he has always been expected to pay for nice things for the females in his family. He's also been kind of scammed out of large sums of money by his family. That's slowly been shut down over times, and we're working on shutting down this dinner/outings thing. He allows this because he feels bad that they don't have a lot of money. It's sad, but that's how his family got along for a very l
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    Font - When we were done eating, I asked for separate bills. She said no, we need one bill, because she "forgot" her wallet again. I reached in my purse and said, "this wallet?" She was extremely furious. She said that I should not have touched or grabbed her wallet.
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    Font - We've been in therapy addressing this, and he's learned to set boundaries. This restaurant thing is a boundary that he hadn't yet set. It's hard to set all boundaries all at once when you actually had no clue know what boundaries were, and have had no boundaries for years.
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    Font - Does he pay too? We are married. My money is his money. When I mentioned Amy speicifies I should pay, I meant more that she specifies since I make good money, we as a whole shouldn't be "cheap."
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    Font - What was the point if you ended up paying? I knew Amy wasn't going to pay. She *always* finds a way not to pay. I went to the restaurant fully expecting to foot the bill. I did this because I saw it on a show and thought it would be funny to do IRL, to be completely honest. The point wasn't really to get her to pay, it was more to show her that the "forgot my wallet" excuse was getting old.
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    Font - Is Amy banned from visiting? Fortunately, this post turned out to be a good thing. DH has always had it in his head that Amy is a good person and has her reasons for being sneaky and cheap, like I mentioned above. In his head, it's not her fault she is the way she is; it's the circumstances of their upbringing that cause her to make bad decisions. But, seeing Amy's reply to my post and peoples' repsonse to Amy has really changed his thinking. That's the first time Amy has outright admitte
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    Font - SaintGodfather Sister's response (edited to take out the info I think OP didn't want there): [-]thisisamythea points23 hours ago -219
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    Font - this is "amy" my friend told me they saw this post and everyone is saying i am a leech. the thing my sister in law did not tell you all is she has no problem paying for her own sisters and she always singles me out and expects me to always pay. she takes her sisters to restaurants and never makes them pay. ever since she is with my brother, my brother is so cheap. he used to always help me and my mom because we don't have a lot of money and he's stopped doing that ever since he's with her
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    Font - taking my wallet and sneaking it to the restaurant when she can afford to pay for things is so messed up. in our culture the older sibling always pays. she is so cheap. why can't she just treat me? why does she have to only treat her sister and make me look like a bad person when i expect the same treatment as her sisters and she has so much money to waste? i hope people don't think i'm an as when they learn more about the situation.
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    Font - (OP's response) Wow, I can't. My sisters are in university working their as es off to pay their own tuition, so yes I treat them occasionally. They don't come to my house expecting me to pay for everything. How much money I earn is not anyone's da business. How I spend my money is not anyone's da business. My husband is "cheap" now because we have a mortgage to pay and a child to take care of. I also didn't have much money to my name at a time in my life, but I never mooched off of anyone
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    Font - iaincaradoc Well, Amy's response certainly offers some clarity as to why OP would treat other people more nicely. Holy c. Entitlement much?
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    Font - Iataaddicted25 SIL can be on r/choosingbeggars right now. She's outrageously entitled.
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    Font - Subject_Order9321 who tf does she think she is, its her money she can pay for who she wants to, when she wants to it's her money if the SIL can't pay for her own food she shouldn't f n eat
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    Font - LouisV25 Amy's response is ENTITLED AND TONE DEAF. She came to the internet and confirmed every negative thing that OP and the commenters said about her. Too many family members think everyone else should take care of them and blame it on culture when it's just toxic. To put OP's bonus on the internet as a justification as why she is owed just further proves that Amy is the AH. Every penny of OP's money is for her and DH to do as they please.
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    Font - No one owes Amy or MIL a penny. Amy lacks the basic understanding that people are generous to people that do not take advantage of kindness (e.g., OP's sisters). Amy needs to learn that entitlement to what you are NOT owed, duplicitous behavior (forgetting the wallet), and false promises to repay what was borrowed is MORE than enough to get you cut off for life. OP-I disagree that the wallet move was an AH move. Amy needed to be exposed for her duplicitous behavior. You let that go on for

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