Weekly Internet Roundup: Gwyneth Paltrow Wins, Chris Chan Gets Bailed Out, and Harry Potter Has Balenciaga Drip

Good day, Memebase reader. It's once again that time of the week where we look at some of the biggest conversations on the internet right now. We've got a pretty high stakes edition here, full of rules being broken, and people being confused. I won't make you hang around any longer to find out. Let's get into it.

The Power of the Bone Broth

This past year has been a golden era of memeable celebrity trials, as Gwyneth Paltrow this week treated the internet to a legal skirmish about a ski crash she had in 2016. The lawsuit brought against her by retired optometrist Terry Sanderson, and the behavior of herself and other attendees of the court has been the subject of much amusement. Gwyneth's courtroom wardrobe, the opposing counsel's apparent fangirling over her, and the actress's stone cold delivery of the line ‘I lost half a day of skiing’ have all had their moment in the sun.

Anyway, she won the case, as is fitting for such an elaborate performance. As the cherry on her paleo, calorie-free cake was her parting remark to Sanderson, whispering ‘I wish you well’ as she left the courtroom. She still shouldn't be promoting liquid IVs in place of actual meals, though. 

Chris Chan: On the Run?

All the normies out there find themselves wrapped up in the lives of real world celebrities, but anybody with taste knows that the internet ones are where the real drama's at. Sonichu comic creator and all-round strange individual Chris Chan has had unusually good longevity when it comes to cult online fame, but it's been for mostly bad reasons. She was arrested and charged with incest in 2021, but news broke this week that she is now out of custody after being released by court order. 

Seemingly bailed out and with her whereabouts unknown, the plot thickens in the wild life of this early aughts internet relic. What happens next is anyone's guess.

They Did a Yassification on a Harry Potter

Great news! We've reached the terrifying point with AI generated imagery where it's getting hard to suss out what is real and what is fake. Like, it's pretty much figured out how to do hands now and everything. This has led to a confusing few days of people getting bamboozled by these technological innovations, such as the Pope in a truly fetching long white puffer jacket. 

Another piece of artificial intelligence-based artwork that has blown everyone away is an unlikely collaboration between the cast of Harry Potter and fashion house Balenciaga, complete with banging EDM soundtrack. A random combination if ever there was one, but we'll take it. 

Six Nuts a Day Won't Keep Twitter Virality Away

Please, somebody with power and influence ban the sale and use of podcast mics. We have heard enough. Confirmation of this has come (NO pun intended) in the form of one woman and her demented claims of how often she sexually satisfies her husband per day. Supposedly, she commits herself to doing this six or seven times, including traveling to his workplace to keep him occupied on his lunch break. 

It eventually transpired that this podcast was fake, and the woman involved was trying to promote her OnlyFans. However, this wasn't before countless men had chimed in by saying that her commitment seemed just a little bit excessive. I hope that her man stays hydrated. 

Donald Trump Finally Makes History

After many years and countless accusations, it seems like the 45th President of the United States has been indicted. Donald Trump is expected to appear before a judge on Tuesday over a hush money payment made to porn star Stormy Daniels. This has, of course, led to a tirade from the man himself on Truth Social, and is the perfect opportunity for both his opponents and supporters to go hog wild with the posting. We can expect to see some mighty amusing memes and takes over the next few days. Will it top the day that the Queen died? Only time will tell. 

Here ends the internet roundup for another week. How lucky we are that the world and how it works online is so bizarre and hilarious that we get all of this stuff to talk about! Until next time, stay safe.