'I wasn’t allowed to discipline': 17-year-old allows spoiled niece and nephew to destroy the house after getting reprimanded for putting them in time-out

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  • 01
    Green - AITA For allowing my niece and nephew to destroy the house by not disciplining them after my sister-in-law specifically instructed me not to discipline them?
  • 02
    Font - My brother Casey (32 y.o.) is much older than me (17 y.o.) He's married to my sister-in-law Mandy (36 y.o.) and they have two kids; My nephew Nick (3 ½ y.o.) and my niece Mya (2 y.o.) Mandy recently asked my parents if I could babysit Nick and Mya, since Mandy wanted to visit her mom and the original babysitter canceled last minute.
  • 03
    Font - I had never babysat Nick or Mya before (I honestly don't have any real experience in babysitting kids under five) but my parents begged and offered to pay me so I agreed.
  • 04
    Font - Babysitting Nick and Mya was a nightmare. They acted like they had never been told no or been forced to behave in their entire lives; Drawing on the walls with crayons and markers, trying to flush bath toys down the toilet, throwing themselves on the floor and screaming for candy, the list goes on and on.
  • 05
    Font - I called Mandy explaining what Nick and Mya were doing and that I was having them stand in the corner for a time-out. Mandy ended up coming home early, but not to deal with Nick or Mya. Instead, Mandy was angry with me and told me that I wasn't allowed to discipline them because I'm not their mother and "need to learn my place."
  • 06
    Font - The next weekend (last Friday), Mandy begged me to babysit Nick and Mya because she said she wanted to visit her mom again and couldn't find another babysitter. My parents had me agree and Mandy told me again. that I was not allowed to discipline Nick or Mya. (I'm pretty sure this is the real reason why she couldn't get an actual babysitter for Nick and Mya.)
  • 07
    Font - Since Mandy said I couldn't discipline them, I decided to do as I was told. I watched them to make sure they didn't try to run away from home or anything, but otherwise left Nick and Mya to their own devices. The house was obviously a wreck by the time Mandy got home.
  • 08
    Font - Mandy was furious with me and tried convincing my parents not to pay me. My parents still paid me since a deal is a deal. But they said they were disappointed me with because even though Mandy's no-discipline rule was silly, I had a dozen better ways of keeping my niece and nephew occupied (using an activity like crafts or hide-and-seek) instead of being "spiteful/immature" and just letting them destroy the house.
  • 09
    Font - Casey hasn't said anything about it, but he is kinda an absentee father to be honest. He spends most of his time at work. When he is home, he kinda just acts like the fun uncle while Mandy does the actual parenting. I'm looking for unbiased perspectives on here. AITA?
  • 10
    Font - kat_Folland 13 hr. ago Ahole Enthusiast [7] NTA. Maybe you could have redirected the kids, but maybe you couldn't and you had absolutely no recourse if that happened, as it was almost certain to do (I'm pretty sure this is the real reason why she couldn't get an actual babysitter for Nick and Mya.) You may be 17, but you're sharp, kid. You're very probably right. Do not babysit these kids again.
  • 11
    Font - dongdinge 11 hr. ago . "Do not babysit these kids again." just throwing it out there since it is family and this whole issue may blow over/etc. i would argue do not babysit these kids again unless you're allowed to actually run the house, and you at LEAST get your parents to back you, especially if it's their house you'll be in. part of running a house with kids in it as an adult (even a young adult) is the ability to make decisions and do what you feel appropriate to manage certain situa
  • 12
    Font - swung 5 hr. ago Yes, It's NTA. The children are terrible due to poor nurturing on BOTH parent's part, and in the event that you're not permitted to address them then, at that point, so be it.
  • 13
    Font - Apart Foundation1702 4 hr. ago Partassipant [2] Agreed! It's easy NTA! She can't tie your hands behind your back but still expect everything to be perfect ! Also why can't she take them to see there grandma? She can't have it both ways. 127 Reply Share Emotional_Bonus_934 4 hr. ago A hole Enthusiast [9] Because grandma won't tolerate their behavior and will discipline all three of them.
  • 14
    Font - justhewayouare · 3 hr. ago Which she wouldn't have to do if she actually gave them proper discipline. She's literally creating her own problems. I'm a parent myself and I do not understand parents like this at all.
  • 15
    Font - NEED PEE Beebeemp 7 hr. ago That part. Them being family makes it even more important to say no. You can't let these clowns mess with your peace at home. OP said their parents were "disappointed" this time, but what if one of the kids had gotten hurt? Don't babysit for them again. It's not worth the risk.
  • 16
    Font - Toucangenocide. 3 hr. ago. edited 3 hr. ago That's the part I don't get. My kids are high energy and at least one is ADHD, but I've never had a babysitter have to do any discipline because we're consistent when we're home. Expectations are set, why's are explained, and outlets are given for their energy. This isn't that hard.
  • 17
    Font - haleorshine 6 hr. ago Yeaaaaah I'm a huge believer in family and helping out but I wouldn't babysit for them again, at least not without an apology and an understanding that things were going to be different. I'm saying this as an adult who babysits for her nibblings all the time, don't. If you do discipline them, she'll get mad at you, if you don't and they ruin things, she'll get mad at you - there's no win here, and she needs to realise how ridiculous she was, and she won't. Stay away
  • 18
    Font - BirthdayCookie 9 hr. ago A hole Enthusiast [8] . Why do so many people think family means "be a carpet"? No, OP should not babysit for these people again.
  • 19
    Font - ladancer22 11 hr. ago Partassipant [1] The thing is, redirection only works so well and takes a TON of time and effort. Being outright told as a babysitter that you have no power to tell a kid “No” really sets a terrible tone and does not encourage the babysitter to spend that time and energy constantly redirecting poorly behaved children you are being strong armed into watching. I don't know how long Mandy was gone, but if it was enough time for the kids to wreck the house I would say re
  • 20
    Font - UrsinePoletry. 11 hr. ago OP also mentioned being totally inexperienced watching kids this age. This is a 17 year old, not somebody with a degree in child development. It's really a lot to expect a novice to have a bag of tricks for containing child chaos that don't involve discipline. Agree with everyone saying OP is NTA and should not do this again. OP's parents should feel free to volunteer themselves, though!
  • 21
    Font - Mundane-Currency5088 9 hr. ago Unless the kid is like my younger daughter who was occupied by playing with my older daughter and their friends and pretty calm as a person to begin with any toddler is going to spend time crying because you won't let them do something dangerous.
  • 22
    Font - Redirecting them is a form of discipline though and OP was forbidden from doing that. There wouldn't have been a second chance to yell at me for not allowing your kid to flush toys down the toilet. There would need to be an engraved apology for me to ever speak to that woman again let alone watch her toddlers who act like toddlers do. They are going to push the boundaries with any new adult immediately. These Kids need to learn babysitters allow less than your parents do. They simply can'

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