‘He used his culture to gaslight me’ : People Discuss the Pros and Cons of Cross-Cultural Dating

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    Font - ş Posted by u/sadgf4ulol 1 day ago What is your experience with dating outside of your culture?
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    Font - eye_snap 1 day ago . I did this a few times. This is just my theory so take it with a grain of salt, but having lived in a few different countries, I realized; In a foreign country, or when dealing with people of foreign cultures, your bs rader is gonna be way off. It just doesn't work. Reading people of different cultures becomes difficult unless you live in that country for a long time. Years. Of course everyone can spot obvious bs, but the subtle stuff, like being gaslighted, is much m
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    Font - So when you are daying someone from a different culture, you might not realize you are actually dating a kind of person you wouldn't even talk to if they were from your own culture. The way they present themselves, the way they behave and talk is so different. None of the cultural codes are there.
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    Font - IsItTurkeyNeckOrDick 18 hr. ago I think this is why passport bros are so prevalent. I also think this is why a lot of people who don't have a lot of luck dating in their own culture date outside of their culture on purpose. Those people cannot pick up on the fact that those people are considered "weird or off" because they don't have the barometer to read it. I've known a lot of very awkward people that ended up with people who were from other cultures. It seems to be very prevalent.
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    Font - Pristine-Leek-9576 18 hr. ago Definitely- only dated outside of my culture once and he used his culture to gaslight me. The unfortunate side effect is that I am forever nervous around people from this culture. Mentally I know that it's not practical to think all people from his heritage are the same way- but that's what trauma does.
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    Font - redonreddit24 - 1 day ago Honestly, it was really, really hard. I was always very attracted to men of exotic cultures, but dating them did not go well. Their attitudes towards women were the opposite of mine, we didn't share religious beliefs or values, and so forth. They were always angry at me for things I did that offended them, things that were completely normal in my culture. For instance, I was thrown against a wall and strangled once when I hung my underwear out to dry on the washi
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    Font - 10 B Simple-life62 20 hr. ago. Moving away from men of my own culture is the best decision. I ever made. I come from a misogynistic culture.
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    Font - colourscaptivating · 20 hr. ago I'm white American and was in a relationship with a Vietnamese (not Vietnamese-American) woman for a while. In some ways, I really enjoyed it. Getting to learn about each other's culture made our relationship exciting and interesting. I visited Vietnam with her twice and seeing it with a local was amazing, especially because she loved her country and was excited to share it with me. It's hard for me, looking back, to disentangle my feelings about her with m
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    Font - That said, there were some cultural issues. She was always worried I would cheat or be promiscuous, just because that was how Americans were portrayed in the media to her. And I realized after a while that she had no intention of coming out to her parents, even when she was financially independent. As long as we dated, I'd always have to be her "friend" or maybe "roommate." It was difficult for me to understand or feel comfortable with. I think I just wasn't prepared for how much influenc
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    Hair - We broke up, but she's still one of my best friends and we still enjoy sharing our cultures with each other!
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    Font - Mara2507 1 day ago 오 I have had 2 boyfriends, both from different cultures to mine. I honestly like the difference in culture and learning about a culture that is different from mine, learning about different upbringings and also finding similarities in our cultures is fun and a nice bonding way
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    Font - rose_on_red 20 hr. ago Cultural differences were good, religious differences were bad. We disagreed about fundamental things like how we'd raise our kids, participating in Ramadan, and what we believed about the afterlife! It was impossible to find a middle ground on things this big.
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    Font - Eunuch_Provocateur · 18 hr. ago 오 I'm Mexican and married outside my race. The stereotypes for Mexican men unfortunately seemed to be very true, either mommas boys or misogynistic machismo types. When I dated Mexican men I'd get either one of the two, or both, or some secret 3rd type that had other issues he wasn't willing to confront/work out. The man I'm married to now is neither of those two and is someone who is rational and level headed.
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    Font - rudebish 22 hr. ago Dated outside my culture most of my life and married to a man who is from Europe (I'm Asian) so our kids are mixed and it's been absolutely zero issues re cultural clashes from day 1. We're both incredibly respectful of each other's cultures and traditions and celebrate all of our cultural events and holidays.

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