Online Dating Culture Makes It ‘Impossible’ for Men to Turn Matches Into Real Dates, Reddit Men Claim

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morganleason
Jun 22, 2023 7:00 PM EDT

Online dating is definitely nobody's first choice when it comes to finding someone. But with everything turning digital, dating culture had to follow the trend. Along with this, dating changed. Many of these dating apps have become breeding grounds for hookup culture rather than actual dating. People still meet their significant others through these apps, but it is a rarer occurrence.

Reddit users started the conversation on how online dating has actually made it nearly impossible for most men to land any dates. Sure people will get matches here and there, but the date part never follows through. Because of this, more and more men are feeling discouraged from even trying to message women, as they claim they hardly receive responses.

For the men out there that are looking for real connections and are feeling discouraged from online dating, we say avoid wearing your heart on your sleeve, but do not close yourself off to opportunities. This means still reaching out to your matches but do not play the games! The right match will be someone who is looking to make a genuine connection, all the others will not be worth the time or effort!

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  • 01
    Hair - Posted by u/justagirllevelingup 12 days ago How hard is it for men to get a first date with online dating?
    via justagirllevelingup
  • 02
    Font - I've talked to two men so far about their dating experiences. One is my friend and the other is a guy I just went on a date with today. Both are pretty good looking guys, and are nice. They both told me that they can hardly even get matches, let alone first dates. This made me feel terrible for them, especially the guy I went on a date with today because he really was a sweet guy. I could tell he was nervous... when he said he has no luck and was surprised I even matched with him, it real
    via justagirllevelingup
  • 03
    Font - So from a female perspective, online dating isn't really challenging for me. I will get consistent matches (although some never even respond to me), and be asked on dates. I don't mean that in an arrogant way - I just know for women even average looking like me, it's not too bad.
    via justagirllevelingup
  • 04
    Font - azuth89 12 days ago The userbase on most of those apps is ~80% male. That alone should be a hint there's going to be a big difference. 4 2.0k Reply Share
    via azuth89
  • 05
    Font - chocjames43 12 days ago And of the % that are women, about 25% are actually down to meet up. The rest fall into- 1. Just checking things out/too shy to meet up 2. Use apps for ego boosts 3. Social media promo 4. Onlyfans promo 5. Scammer (bitcoin or exploit ransom) 1.1k Reply Share
    via chocjames43
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    Font - huuaaang 12 days ago Male Get a date? It's hard enough just to get a match. And even when you get matches, they usually don't even respond, much less send a first message themselves. Some women just say right on their profile that they won't send a first message. So getting to a date is... practically a miracle. Reply Share 1.1k
    via huuaaang
  • 07
    Font - Rac3318 12 days ago Varies by the app from the looks of it. Quick google says it's closer to 65% are men for hinge and bumble. Still bad, but not as bad. 4208 Reply Share
    via Rac3318
  • 08
    Font - averyrdc 12 days ago True but there's an unsaid but known secret and that is, if you're not forking over money to tinder or whoever, you're hardly getting any profile views in the first place.
    via averyrdc
  • 09
    Font - Agi7890 12 days ago Find a male friend on Facebook or instagram and ask to use his pics and find out for yourself 468 Reply Share
    via Agi7890
  • 10
    Font - 3_if_by_air 12 days ago Male Girls will do anything to avoid saying 'hi, I think you're cute' /s
    via 3_if_by_air
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    Font - Imbackinhere5 12 days ago Women use the app for validation and then unmatch you in the middle of the conversation 4305 Reply Share
    via Imbackinhere5
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    Font - Kostya_M 12 days ago I have literally had multiple female friends look at my pics/bio and sign off on it through several iterations. It does nothing. 139 Reply Share
    via Kostya_M
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    Font - Fawkes04 12 days ago And that's not even restricted to one platform. Like, some women even have that "You need to text me first"-bs in their profile on freakin Bumble (that was the one right? The one that has it's entire USP in only the women being able to text first?) 4284 Reply Share
    via Fawkes04
  • 14
    Font - Every-Performance985 · 12 days ago There's a difference in what women say they're attracted to and what they actually give time of the day. It's not malicious, but they like being politically correct. On Reddit, you'll find countless women saying they hate shirtless photos but every guy who has put up one has told me his matches went up. 165 Reply Share
    via Every-Performance985
  • 15
    Font - jdfred06 12 days ago · edited 12 days ago That's still like a 2 to 1 ratio though. The bottom half of men would be ignored and now a 7.5 out of 10 is the new average. This would imply that a guy who is approximately an 8 will still have to work to get a 6. Of course attractiveness is subjective and the rating thing is a little icky, but just looking at it from a numbers perspective that's the easiest way to simplify why online dating is borderline useless for relationships. 249 Reply Shar
    via jdfred06
  • 16
    Font - Eredin27 12 days ago Most women are drowning and most men are dying of thirst on apps. And I say this as someone who has pretty decent success on them but it took years of healthy improvement to get to that point where with women I'd argue many can just hop on and be fine. Not complaining just recognizing how it is. 206 Reply Share
    via Eredin27
  • 17
    Font - Redlight0516 12 days ago And depending what country you're in, pr tution. So I guess they're down to meet up... Reply Share 4 249
    via Redlight0516
  • 18
    Font - jdfred06 12 days ago To be fair I wouldn't ask women how to attract other women. I'd ask them how to keep a good woman, but that's about it. ↑ 75 Reply Share
    via jdfred06
  • 19
    Font - HeyRiks 12 days ago This is pretty much it. Dating app pools are a normalized, simplified version of IRL dating. Of course, women hold all the bargaining power and either swipe left or unmatch 95%~ of men. That along with the gender disparity makes it a struggle for an average male and a walk in the park for most females. I've seen male friends swipe to the end of the list with hardly half a dozen matches while female friends will guaranteed get 95 out of 100. Reply Share 73 ●●●
    via HeyRiks
  • 20
    Font - YoWassupFresh 12 days ago Only 20% of users are women. The top 5% of men get 90% of the attention. It's very hard. 88 Reply Share
    via YoWassupFresh
  • 21
    Font - Unlucky654 12 days ago I did the online dating for about a year. I used 4 apps for about 3 months, each with the same luck. O matchs on all of them. 422 Reply Share
    via Unlucky654
  • 22
    Font - anon_girl_anon 12 days ago I must be terribly undesirable because the few times I have matched and messaged someone first on Bumble, I barely get a response myself. ↑ 11 Reply Share
    via anon_girl_anon

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