'Be advised': Male Karen leaves 1-star review because he's angry about free soda

There are a lot of reasons to be angry in this world… and free soda is not one of them. Still, name a thing that exists, and there is someone out there who is absolutely fuming about it, plotting how they can end it once and for all.

Meet Larry. Larry hates free things, especially things that bubble and fizz and don't cost him anything. If you had asked Larry what the biggest problem in the world was, he'd probably answer that it was people enjoying themselves while they wait for him. His answer for that problem? Leaving 1-star reviews.

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Posted by Brad Dickson

Imagine having to deal with Larry in real life. Larry is likely to draw a negative association with any topic you present to him and is probably an absolute nightmare of an individual.

The thing that sticks out is that it doesn't even seem like Larry has visited the fine soda-dispensing establishment, merely that he observed their sign as he was driving past and decided that he couldn't tolerate it. Maybe Larry is a dentist and has seen one too many teeth eroded by sugary drinks and has sworn vengeance on all propagators of those beverages.

Let's be honest; the most likely possible thing here is that Larry himself is a business owner and is fuming at the fact that he didn't think of instating this himself first, and he knows this genius business practice could have only been incepted by the finest of business doers. Now he's too afraid to do so for fear of being labeled a copycat and shunned by his business-doing friends. Instead, he turns to rage.

Anyways, I've drawn this out for as long as I can, and it's longer than the post itself. Enjoy.