I love animals. I mean, who doesn't? If you've gone your entire life and never met an animal you liked, I have concerns about you and your personality. Even if you're a grumpy old guy, especially if you're a cranky old guy, there has got to be some sort of animal that you connect with on a deep and personal level. Take cats, for instance! Cats are grumpy old men like yourself. They mind their own business and take nonsense from nobody. If you're allergic to animal hair, might I suggest a smooth boy as a pet, like a beta fish or a toad? They make excellent companions for people who love a low-maintenance pet experience.
Ultimately, if you're not a fan of animals, there's very little I can do to change your mind. If these animal memes do anything to make you budge on your stance, I have done my job.