Weekly Internet Roundup: Cops on Slides, The Planet of the Bass, and Mourning for Tater Tot

Welcome. It's that time again where we look at some of the main things that captivated the mainstream internet this week. Does anybody remember the heyday of The Daily What? Lawsuits aside, this week's offerings really remind me of that early 2010s viral boom where the peak of comedy was parodies and fails, cute animals ruled over everything, and the internet fame ecosystem was still growing into the beast we know now. That site gave me so many dumb videos to show my increasingly perplexed friends. Nostalgia! Anyway, let's begin.

RIP Tater Tot

I regret to inform you that an internet famous kitten has passed away. Tater Tot captured the hearts of millions over the six and a half weeks his rescuer Ash Houghton took care of him. Tater Tot had four malformed legs, leading to him spending most of his short life in splints that he looked both adorable and grumpy wearing. An undetected heart condition might have been responsible for his demise, which people have not been taking well. Everybody knows that beloved online animals are meant to stay alive forever and keep giving us cute content.

Major L for Monetized Self Love

Our celebrity news for the week is that Lizzo is allegedly a horrible person. Fans were left reeling when three of the musician's former backup dancers launched a lawsuit against her, her dance captain Shirlene Quigley, and her touring company. The allegations span sexual harassment and a hostile work environment. Ironically, given the rapper's body positive public image, this included weight-shaming the dancers.

Like every celebrity who is definitely not guilty of anything, Lizzo has responded by denying all allegations and hiring a lawyer who is known for defending high profile domestic abusers and sex offenders. Seems legit!

America's Funniest Cop Videos

Whatever else happens in the month of August, we can rest easy knowing that it began in one of the most hilarious ways possible. On Tuesday, somebody uploaded a video of a cop bombing down a slide in Boston in a way that no human being has even slid before. While the star of the show reportedly received only minor injuries, his ego will have taken a beating as the eight second clip has been turned into a delightfully silly meme. The mystery that still remains is how someone manages to misuse such an innocent piece of playground equipment. As one baffled physicist told Wired, “Normal people, when they go down a slide, they’re fine". 

TikTok Comedian Are My Favorite Guy

The other thing that everyone can't stop rewatching could not be further from a cop-related pratfall, but it has proved just as captivating. Content creator Kyle Gordon has enjoyed the spotlight recently thanks to his perfectly pitched parody song, Planet of the Bass (by DJ Crazy Times & Ms. Biljana Electronica). The forgotten 90s Europop classic has received a rapturous reception on both Twitter and TikTok for its impassioned performance and cheerfully nonsensical lyrics. 

Controversy struck recently when Gordon recreated the video with a different woman while in Zagreb, Croatia. While many complained of him betraying his roots, others pointed out that a doing crappy remake of a hit was the most Europop move imaginable. Between this and Brian Jordan Alvarez, mangled English is back, baby.

That's everything we're going to look at today. After all this, you have no choice but to have a blessed weekend. Bye!