Weekly Internet Roundup: Celebrity Charity Auctions, Tube Girl, and Paying for Twitter

Hello and welcome. It's roundup time, which means we have no choice but to breeze through a summary of some of the dumb things that have captured the attention of the internet this week. Let's begin.

All For a Good Cause

Numerous celebrities participated in an uncharacteristic act of altruism recently, in the name of helping their less star-studded colleagues get through the tough times brought on by retaliation to the SAG-AFTRA strike. Famous people ranging from Adam Scott to Lena Dunham offered the services of their time, communication, and creativity in an eBay auction meant to raise funds for those in the entertainment industry whose healthcare cover was under threat while they were striking for better conditions and pay.

What was being offered gave some fun opportunities to those with a few thousand dollars to spare, but what the content creators of this world were really preoccupied with was using this auction lot format to make memes about what that they really wanted to see with this fundraiser. The results involved many juicy rumors, and a few wild scenarios for good measure. They would make millions if they followed the memes. 

Twitter Death Knell No. 9837451

Well, it's not official, but it kind of looks like it's getting there. Elon Musk has touted the most final nail in a coffin full of nails when it comes to Twitter (or X, if you're a freak like that). 

In a Monday livestream with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Musk hinted at a desire to charge a “small monthly payment” to all users of the former bird app. Claiming that it was the only method to be able to weed out the prolific bot accounts, it prompted yet another wave of users claiming they would be ready to swear off the platform as soon as they could. Love to watch Web 2.0 disintegrate in front of our very eyes! 

Will the Real Confidence Activist Please Stand Up

In this permanently surveilled, constantly snitching society we live in, it can be hard to feel like we can really let loose and step into our true power. It takes a real maverick to stand tall and make the strictures we all deal with work for them.

Enter Tube Girl, who miraculously is a creation of 2023 and not the slang name for an unsavory early aughts shock video. She's been taking over TikTok for the past month for shamelessly filming herself dancing on the London Underground, and uploading it complete with dizzying editing that somehow manages to miss the identities of all the passengers just trying to mind their business in the background.

Her real name is Sabrina Bahsoon, and one of her most-viewed videos has prompted a song (Righteous x Yummy by Ayesha Erotica and Mo Beats) to become known as the “Tube Girl Song”. Shein Halsey could only dream of inspiring the masses similarly. 

That's everything we're going to look at for now. Stay safe, and try not to let the general inanity and insanity of being online all day do too much damage. Until next time!