'She says that I should just be a silent owner': Coffee shop manager put in awkward customer disputes by company's owner

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Sep 3, 2023 11:00 AM EDT

These siblings have been working together, but their opposing management styles have been causing friction. 

After working as a barista during their youth, u/Unfair_Baker7448 got the chance of a lifetime. Years later, they were able to open a coffee shop of their own. It's not even their full-time job, but when they feel like it, they go play barista at their coffee shop. OP writes that they enjoy getting to meet new people, drink great coffee, and have something to do during their down time. 

However, the OP's sister manages the place. This means that even though OP owns it, their sister is probably there much more than the OP is. The sister knows all the regulars, as well as the other types of customers who come in to order their drinks. Both OP and their sister know that the customer base can be a bit demanding when it comes to their coffees, and that's where OP and their sister keep disagreeing. 

Check out this wild tale below, as well as helpful advice from the commenters. Next, this customer service manager got to tell this woman that her service was cancelled, and the reason was entirely the fault of the customer. 

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  • 01
    Font - AITA for opening a coffee shop "just so I can be rude" I didn't. I opened it so I would have something to do with my time off and make some extra money. I work maintenance at a remote hydroelectric dam so I work two weeks and get two weeks off. I make decent money so I decided to invest.
    via u/Unfair_Baker7448
  • 02
    Font - I worked as a barista when I was a kid so that's what I do during my weeks off. I love coffee so it is perfect for me. Plus I get to meet all kinds of people and promote the country my parents came from.
    via u/Unfair_Baker7448
  • 03
    Font - I obviously am not the manager since I am gone for two weeks at a time plus I take a few vacations throughout the year. My younger sister is the manager. She is a single mom so I like to help her out without it being charity.
    via u/Unfair_Baker7448
  • 04
    Font - The issue is that I don't put up with anyone's bulls. We get yoga moms and trustafarians all the time because we have great coffee and pastries. I also have seven different sweeteners for the coffee. Some traditional some not so much.
    via u/Unfair_Baker7448
  • 05
    Font - Whenever I get an entitled customer I tell them to behave or gtfo. Some get the picture but some seem to think that the customer is always right.
    via u/Unfair_Baker7448
  • 06
    Font - I try not to be a di about it. If someone is obviously in a hurry and just say their order I quickly provide it and move on. But if someone is rude to me or my employees I tell them off.
    via u/Unfair_Baker7448
  • 07
    Font - This infuriates my sister because a lot of them are regulars and she is a people pleaser. They get huffy and say that they know the manager and that I will be fired. They will call her over or threaten to call when she is in. I tell them to go ahead. Then they get flustered because they cannot bully me. She tells them I'm the owner. She hates it. She has threatened to quit multiple times. She won't. I pay her, and all my employees, a living wage. She could quit but she would make half as
    via u/Unfair_Baker7448
  • 08
    Font - She says that I should just be a silent owner and not work there any more. Which defeats the purpose of me buying the d place to have something to do with my time off. She is convinced I only bought it so I could tell snobs to go themselves. I actually make almost as much from the shop as I do from work. AITA?
    via u/Unfair_Baker7448
  • 09
    Font - EDIT Thank you all for the different point of view. I will be talking to my sister and apologizing for putting her in that situation. I will be putting up signage stating that we will not tolerate abuse of the staff.
    via u/Unfair_Baker7448
  • 10
    Font - everellie Don't bring your sister in when they are rude anymore. "I'm the owner, and this behavior won't work in my cafe," is good enough. She doesn't need to be in the middle of your tifs, just because you like it for dramatic effect. It clearly makes her more uncomfortable than she normally needs to be. Otherwise, carry on. I hate it when customers are allowed to be rude to the staff and management doesn't stand up for them.
    via u/everellie
  • 11
    Font - cookiesoverb es. I'm sure the peoples working there who don't make manager money appreciate someone standing up to the AHs. ΝΤΑ
    via u/cookiesoverb****es
  • 12
    Font - tropicsandcaffeine. I would pay extra for my coffee just to hear you do that. And many others would as well. Keep doing what you are doing. Word will spread and more people will come. Tell your sister that being a people pleaser does not mean that you should be a doormat or have to put up with rude customers. What do the rest of your employees think?
    via u/tropicsandcaffeine
  • 13
    Product - pantsoptionalalways. Assuming this isn't BS, you're living the dream. Now start a youtube channel where you feature all the entitled a s. Get one of your other family members to run it. 100 Reply Share AWholeHalfAsh. There's a TikTok page from a specialty candle company that straight up has a sign in the front area saying how many days it's been since the last Karen and how many they've had. Then they make a video about said Karen's behavior.
    via u/pantsoptionalalways
  • 14
    Font - Alaskassnowman As someone who has done a ton of service work the fact that treating service workers like s is so common and almost feels like people believe it is their right is sickening. With age i've gotten this no nonsense attitude myself and have no problem telling a rude customer/boss to go themselves. I have more self respect to put up with that s. I will not sell myself out for money. I can make money anywhere.
    via u/Alaskassnowman
  • 15
    Font - StreetTailor7596. I get the feeling that you like toying with the customers you don't like - including sending them to your sister so that it blows up in their face yet again when they have to go back to you as the owner. That part makes you that a Not the . part where you hand the customer's hat back to them but where you force your sister to be involved. She's made it clear she doesn't want to be part of your "entertainment" yet you still demand that of her.
    via u/StreetTailor7596
  • 16
    Font - Get a badge that says "store owner" in big letters so that it's clear that you really are the owner. Or figure something else out that makes it clear you're the one in charge. Or, better yet, only work during your sister's day off. It's not hard to find a solution. Perhaps you haven't wanted to.
    via u/StreetTailor7596
  • 17
    Font - Realistic Head4279. NTA. My teenage granddaughter made a lot of money (mostly tips) working as a barista her later years in high school. She had some interesting stories about how rude some people were to her and how she had to take it, just smile and move along. Some people need a comeuppance and I hope you continue letting those who earn your wrath know that rude behavior will not be tolerated.
    via u/Realistic_Head4279
  • 18
    Font - Anonymously_Me23. ΝΤΑ And the customer is always right is the most misunderstood thing in business. It means if the customer wants a type of product that's what we will sell them. For example, if you manufacture vehicles and your customers have a high demand for trucks you produce trucks for them. It doesn't mean the customer has an unquestionable right to be an a
    via u/Anonymously_Me23
  • 19
    Font - shattered_kitkat ΝΤΑ Thank you for your service! We need more like you. Paying a livable wage and not putting up with rudeness. Love it.
    via u/shattered_kitkat
  • 20
    Rectangle - Biotoze NTA. That's the whole point of owning the place. You get to do whatever you want.
    via u/Biotoze
  • 21
    Font - GingerBeerBear NTA. Does your sister think that she should just accept people being rude to her / the other staff? Why does she think that it's acceptable? Has your sister considered doing some training in small business management? Empower her to tell s that they are and a being an a that's not acceptable in the coffee shop. Maybe instead of thinking of it as "telling d heads to off" she could think about what sort of workplace she is creating as manager.
    via u/GingerBeerBear
  • 22
    Font - timmmmyyyyyyyyyyyy NTA - it must feel so freeing telling those a es where to go and how to get there.
    via u/timmmmyyyyyyyyyyyy
  • 23
    Font - AphasiaRiver A coffee shop where only respectful customers are welcome. Sounds relaxing to me.
    via u/AphasiaRiver
  • 24
    Font - CarolineTurpentine. NTA but how much is your approach affecting your sister. If customers are complaining often about your behaviour often (justified or not) and your sister is having to deal with it that's not really fair on her. You say you're letting her work there so as not to provide charity so she deserves a safe working environment. Just by the tone of your post I don't think you're providing that.
    via u/CarolineTurpentine

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coffee shop aita manager owner sisters karen-customer wild-karen coffee disagree managers karens in the wild family sister store karen
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