'She is making your birthday about her': Bride criticizes SIL's 'inappropriate' birthday dress worn two weeks before bride's wedding

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Sep 6, 2023 11:00 AM EDT

This woman's 40th birthday has been overtaken by her soon-to-be sister in law. 

Planning a big birthday party can be so exciting, especially for a milestone birthday — like this woman, who's celebrating her 40th birthday. She did all the usual planning, like figuring out who to invite and where to host the party. But after the party, the OP's sister in law began acting "standoffish" over the OP's choice of birthday attire. 

Your birthday is one of those days where you're allowed to do more or less what you want. Like, you can't break laws or anything, but if you want to eat a lot of cake or party way too hard or just soak in all that extra attention, people will allow it. It's your day! It's an entire day to celebrate you and your accomplishments in whatever way you see fit. It's also considered a faux pas to try and make someone else's big day about you, but this woman's SIL is doing exactly that. 

Commenters assured the OP that her outfit choices weren't exactly diabolical (not that the SIL will care!). Hopefully she'll post an update about how the SIL's wedding goes in the future. 

Next up, these people got the chance of a lifetime, and they took it — by quitting their jobs on the spot. 

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  • 01
    Food - SIER
    via Arjun MJ on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - AITAH for wearing white dress on my birthday 2 weeks before BIL and his fiancé are getting married? I don't know if I can include the dress but Thursday was my 40th birthday. I usually don't celebrate birthdays, my husband just makes me dinner and give me a present and then my mom invites me for breakfast and gives me a present from the whole family. But when I turned 20 and 30 I had a bigger party and now too. I invited immediate family and my closest friends. The party was yesterday
    via u/deleted
  • 03
    Font - and it was a great day. I'm so hungover now. I noticed that BIL (husbands brother) and his fiancé were a bit standoffish but my soon to be SIL is always standoffish with me so nothing new. Today my husband woke up to a long text message berating us because I wore a white dress. They're getting married in 2 weeks and I should have known better. Tbh I swear on my grandma's grave that I didn't think about any of this.
    via u/deleted
  • 04
    Font - SIL thinks that I alway wear inappropriate clothes that draws attention to me so now she's demanding to see what I will be wearing at her wedding. I asked if they're asking everyone. No just me. I said then I refuse.
    via u/deleted
  • 05
    Font - Now they say I'm an AH for wearing white and them for refusing to show the dress I'm wearing to the wedding. Threatening to disinvite my husband and I. My husband is conflicted. I don't know. I think I'd rather have my husband go alone than being treated like a child. Am I the AH for wearing white to my party? And Am I the AH for refusing to show my dress for the wedding? I will try to include the dresses
    via u/deleted
  • 06

    Here's OP's birthday dress

    Joint
    via u/deleted

    It's not exactly white, but instead is covered in crystals.

  • 07

    Here's the dress OP wants to wear to the wedding

    Sheath dress
    via u/deleted

    It's classic little black dress that seems wedding appropriate. 

  • 08

    Commenters didn't think OP was in the wrong

    Font - thunderpantsIII. NTA she's fing deluded.
    via u/thunderpantsIII
  • 09
    Font - PJpittie Seriously, I would ask why she is making YOUR birthday about HER? It has absolutely nothing to do with her wedding. I will say if you skip the wedding it would only escalate the situation, she's clearly deranged. If she chooses to uninvite you, however....problem solved
    via u/PJpittie
  • 10
    Gesture - Beginning_Ad_1371. NTA. Your SIL is crazy.
    via u/Beginning_Ad_1371
  • 11
    Font - AStudyinViolet Everyone know you can't wear white for 3 months leading up to any wedding, you monster. /s NTA
    via u/AStudyinViolet
  • 12
    Font - mypreciousssssssss I thought the rule was nobody is allowed to wear white ever, because someone, somewhere, is getting married and we wouldn't want to upstage them. Good grief these bridezillas are so ridiculous. Too childish to be married, honestly.
    via u/mypreciousssssssss
  • 13
    Font - AStudyinViolet. When you worry that much about a dress I can't imagine there's much space to attend to the....you know, marriage.
    via u/AStudyinViolet
  • 14
    Font - Active-Elderberry-13. Even if you were wearing a wedding dress to your OWN birthday party you'd never be TA. Why would your birthday party even be about your BIL and SIL You're definitely NTA. I think some screws fell loose in those petty brains of your BIL and SIL to even care about this. The dresses both look amazing
    via u/Active-Elderberry-13
  • 15
    Font - Cream-of-Mushrooom. Nta Shes a bridezilla (do people still say that lol). 2 weeks before is ridiculous. Also it's your husband's brother's fiancee, rather tenuous link, not really even family or someone you'll see much of.
    via u/Cream-of-Mushrooom
  • 16
    Happy - ntrrrmilf It's two weeks before AND in the middle of summer. A white dress is just fine.
    via u/ntrrrmilf
  • 17
    Font - OVEL S CommonEarly4706. she is a self absorbed nut and is making everything about her. It's your birthday two weeks before their wedding. Nothing to do with them. They are being ridiculous
    via u/CommonEarly4706
  • 18
    Font - Vegetable-Fix-4702. NTA. Holy cow. I can't imagine what kind of mind twisting arguments that couple will have after getting married. Crazy alert, coming in hot.
    via u/Vegetable-Fix-4702
  • 19
    Font - Dangerous-Emu-7924. NTA. How the h can people just gatekeep a white dress when it's not even at the wedding. Wear whatever you want. She does. It have the monopoly on white dresses. Seriously. People should relax about weddings and their insane rules.
    via u/Dangerous-Emu-7924

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Tags

dresses outfit bride birthday birthday party white wedding wedding dress dress bridezilla weddings aita in laws family
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