50 Amusing Memes About Life After the Altar (Marriage and Family)

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elina lee
Sep 13, 2023 5:00 PM EDT

We were made to believe that life after the altar was happily ever after, whatever that means. But the older we get, the more we realize that all of that fairytale nonsense is not the average American experience. Sure, we have love and romance, but we also have chores, shared responsibilities, kids, and adulting in general, for crying out loud. 

It's no secret that once you say, 'I do' your life changes. Suddenly, it's no longer just about you, your needs, and priorities but a whole other person that you have to take into consideration (with love). And then the kids arrive and suddenly it's a whole new world. From managing finances to celebrating holidays and making new traditions, marriage and family life is unique and we wouldn't trade it for the world. 

With that being said, we hope you enjoy this huge batch of memes about all the quirks and challenges that come after the altar. 

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  • 01
    Plant - WIFE: "I'm so excited that you got today off unexpectedly! I have so much we need to get done! First thing is-" Me:
    via demolition4man
  • 02
    Font - THE DAD The Dad @thedad My wife has like 20% of a conversation in her head before she decides to bring me into it. We can be driving in silence and she'll just be like "and then we'll pick the kids up and go straight from there."
    via AnUnknownAgent
  • 03
    Font - Simon Holland @simoncholland My wife just started measuring a wall in our house and I don't know what she's up to but its probably going to be expensive.
    via demolition4man
  • 04
    Font - Texting another mom... I'm done. I'm selling my kid on ebay. Don't be silly, you made him. Sell him on etsy!
    via demolition4man
  • 05
    Font - Mom Jeans @momjeansplease I couldn't decide if I wanted bangs or not so I cut bangs for my daughter and she looks awful. Dodged a bullet there.
    via demolition4man
  • 06
    Muscle - Kid : *Asks their dad for permission* Their Dad... @ShadyJuan Best i can do is... Idk go ask your mom.
    via demolition4man
  • 07
    Font - THE DAD The Dad @thedad Does anyone else's wife quiz them about the movie they're watching with them as if you wrote and produced it yourself? I don't know why he didn't just call a taxi, Linda, I've got the same information you have.
    via demolition4man
  • 08
    Forehead - Kids: Mom. Momm. Mommmy. Mommmmmmmmm!!! Me: 68 Seriously! I'm on the toilet!! boredpanda.com
    via demolition4man
  • 09
    Gesture - imgflip.com OUR DAUGHTER LOST HER FIRST TOOTH THIS MORNING I KNOW. I BET SHE WON'T TOUCH MY PLAYSTATION AGAIN
    via demolition4man
  • 10
    Font - cella paz @cellapaz : my son has just spent ten minutes trying to get pants on his build a bear and I'm like NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS 6:51 AM 1/11/21 Twitter for iPhone
    via demolition4man
  • 11
    Font - Simon Holland @simoncholland A rival dad mentioned he was up at 6:00 this morning so I told him it must be nice to get to sleep in on a weekday. 7:40 18 Oct 19 Twitter for iPhone . .
    via demolition4man
  • 12
    Facial expression - WARNING: @KATLANKING UNATTENDED CHILDREN WILL BE GIVEN SWORDS AND TAUGHT TO GO VIKING
    via demolition4man
  • 13
    Font - "Raising a child is like taking care of someone who's on way too many shrooms, while you yourself are on a moderate amount of shrooms. I am not confident in my decisions, but I know you should not be eating a mousepad." - Ron Funches (via lazybookreviews) I CAN'T EMPHASISE ENOUGH HOW ACCURATE THIS IS.
    via demolition4man
  • 14
    Font - emí @kxndle_ Should you keep your family out of relationship issues? @possiblly Yeah cause I might forgive you but my momma won't
    via demolition4man
  • 15
    Organism - How I feel when my kids won't eat their food THEN GO AHEAD AND STARRRRRRRRRRRRRRVE!!
    via demolition4man
  • 16
    Military person - When the baby falls asleep on you and you try to move them to the crib
    via demolition4man
  • 17
    Font - Sauna @locsnsmiles_24 You know who is toxic? TODDLERS. toddlers will act a fool all day and then hug you at the end of the night like they aint terrorize you, the furniture and the dog earlier
    via demolition4man
  • 18
    Organism - KK @kkstaackz_ My 6 year old brothers teacher asked the class what's their favorite season and he said garlic powder
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  • 19
    Arm - Dad with Daughter Dad with Son
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  • 20
    Happy - Please hold my hand and walk next to me. Kid:
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  • 21
    Font - Viktor Winetrout @Cpin42 My grandmother lived to be 102. When I asked her what her secret was, she said, "God's punishing me." 11:33 PM - 2/15/19 Twitter Web Client 16.3K Retweets 102K Likes 27
    via demolition4man
  • 22
    Font - "Bare Minimum Parenting" is in sto... @XplodingUnicorn My daughter's lip is bleeding. None of her sisters know what happened. At least they know the first rule of Fight Club.
    via demolition4man
  • 23
    Font - Mother of the year W Kamal Kaur W @kamz26 My son threatened to hold his breath until I gave him ice cream. He's now passed out on the kitchen floor. I don't negotiate with terrorists.
    via demolition4man
  • 24
    Rectangle - Wendi Aarons Ⓒ @WendiAarons Follow Just changed the Netflix password so my teenager has to come out of his room to talk to me. 12:04 PM - 16 Oct 2016 2 Retweets 41 Likes
    via demolition4man
  • 25
    Product - GRANDPARENTS BE LIKE ONE LITTLE SNACK BEFORE YOU GO HOME MEMEFUL CO
    via demolition4man
  • 26
    Property - for $250.00 an hour I will pose as a couples therapist & convince your loved one they are wrong about everything
    via demolition4man
  • 27
    Forehead - MY BUDDY ASKED IF HE COULD CRASH ON MY COUCH TONIGHT. I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO HIM I'M MARRIED NOW, AND THAT'S WHERE I SLEEP.
    via demolition4man
  • 28
    Photograph - How I pictured having kids close in age would be How it actually is ZANIA New
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  • 29
    Font - MY WIFE ASKS ME TO REMIND HER OF STUFF. THAT WAY, IF SHE FORGETS SOMETHING, IT'S MY FAULT.
    via demolition4man
  • 30
    Primate - ME MY KID SAYING "I LOVE YOU" OUT OF NOWHERE THE DAD
    via demolition4man
  • 31
    Human body - Kendra Alvey @Kendragarden Follow I couldn't remember the word "stroller" so I called it a "gremlin holder" but, sure, I'll be your kid's godmother.
    via demolition4man
  • 32
    Font - Kiss my Fat Ash @Tobi_Is_Fab ... I just found myself on the toilet peeling a banana because I live with tiny tyrants 11:37 AM 1/17/21. Twitter for iPhone
    via demolition4man
  • 33
    Font - Average Dad @Average_Dad1 I asked my wife to share her queen sized blanket to which she replied she was a queen and therefore the blanket was already at max capacity 9:10 PM 3/31/20 Twitter for iPhone > .
    via demolition4man
  • 34
    Font - Elizabeth Queen of the North(er... @lizinthelibrary I was recording a video for our church for children's time. Was supposed to interview the girls about their father. "Rose what is your daddy's favorite thing to do?" Her response, without hesitation, "my mommy" 9:54 PM 16 Jun 20 Twitter for iPhone 4 Retweets 71 Likes
    via demolition4man
  • 35
    Vertebrate - Wife: *out of nowhere* "Fine, I'll do it, then! Me: MAN SHED
    via demolition4man
  • 36
    Jaw - Oh, excuse me. Today you don't like bananas? I'm sorry, I must have confused you with that toddler that ate three entire bananas yesterday
    via demolition4man
  • 37
    Adaptation - 5 year old me pretending to smoke when it's cold outside boredpanda.com
    via demolition4man
  • 38
    Font - Laura Marie @Imegordon You can't hurt me. You're not a picture of me that my husband took. 11:04 PM - 2020-11-09 · Twitter for Android : 216 Retweets 20 Quote Tweets 1,206 Likes
    via demolition4man
  • 39
    Organism - Jessie @mommajessiec My husband used my Bath & Body Works body wash and now he smells like lavender and won't stop talking about what he bought on clearance. 6:57 AM 1/11/21 Twitter for iPhone :
    via demolition4man
  • 40
    Clothing - When your big brother is touching your food E 業
    via demolition4man
  • 41
    Font - Lessons from the Minivan @FromMinivan Being a mom means never buying the right amount of produce. Either everyone suddenly loves grapes and a week's worth are eaten in one afternoon, or fruit flies are congregating around my rotting bananas. There's no middle ground.
    via demolition4man
  • 42
    Font - No Idea: Daddy Blog @byclintedwards Watching "Back to the Future II" with 14yo, and he said "2015?! That's not the future. That was 6 years ago!" I just sat there, quietly, almost like I was at my own funeral, because I'd somehow outlived the future of my own childhood, and somehow I'm not already dead.
    via AnUnknownAgent
  • 43
    Forehead - When you tell your kids it's bedtime and all of the sudden they're hungry, thirsty, and need to pee @DadPatrol [stares motherfuckerly]
    via AnUnknownAgent
  • 44
    Eye - The real reason they discourage MRIs during pregnancy is because then people would realise they're incubating nightmare demons and would be rightfully terrified i bless the rains down in castamere @Chinchillazilla I hate this SO MUCH but I can't look away
    via AnUnknownAgent
  • 45
    Font - Them: what's it like to parent a toddler? Me: imagine if sitting down and silence were illegal
    via AnUnknownAgent
  • 46
    Font - Dad and Buried @DadandBuried When you have more than one kid, you think the oldest will become both playmate and protector, but instead he turns into a power-mad dictator who rules his subjects with an iron fist.
    via AnUnknownAgent
  • 47
    Organism - Derek Simpson @dereksimpson You're just going to have to trust me that I love my kids...I can't keep up with y'all's made up holidays. 11:24 PM 9/27/21 Twitter for iPad .
    via AnUnknownAgent
  • 48
    Font - He pressed her up against the wall. She could feel his jorts bulging as he untucked his "World's Best Dad" t-shirt. She pushed him backwards onto the bed and he began to undress. "No." she said, "The New Balance 624s stay on." 49 Like Comment 15 Comments Send "I'm so hot" she proclaimed. "Hi hot, I'm dad" he whispered.
    via AnUnknownAgent
  • 49
    Rectangle - IF YOUR MOMMA IS 29-38 KNOW THIS, DON'T TEST HER. MASTER P, THREE 6 MAFIA, AND DMX RAISED HER AND SHE AIN'T NEVA SCURRED.
    via AnUnknownAgent
  • 50
    White - 3:40 huffpost.com/entry/hilarious-pr 22 1:18 PM Jan 26, 2016 525 Sam @SufficientCharm f 182 people are Tweeting a... 5 Stages of Pregnancy: 1: Crying 847 2: Peeing 3: Crying because you peed 4: Peeing because you're crying 5: The toilet is your home now 11:25 AM. Apr 24, 2017 331 people are Tweeting a... A Bearer Of Dad News @HomeWithPeanut O I was reading to my kids today and in the story, there was a pregnant woman 99% :
    via AnUnknownAgent

Tags

life-after-the-altar humor I Do marriage starting a family married with children tradition married life relationships parenting memes too relatable Happily Ever After raising kids holidays dating
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