33 Witty Parenting Memes About the ‘Delights’ of Raising Tiny Humans (September 29, 2023)

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  • 01
    Cloud - Me and my kid: *existing* My wife documenting it for Instagram 4- E THE DAD
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    Food - OPEN TEAR HERE Gerber 41 Gerber 2nd Baby's first heart attack! Ghost Peppers Foods NET WT/PESO NETO 4 OZ (113g)
  • 03
    Dog - THE DAD EUP H My wife Our farting toddler
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  • 04
    Human - When I cut out the screen time as a punishment and know it's gonna ruin the night for all of us It's not about winning. It's about sending a message. THE DAD
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  • 05
    Forehead - Me, begging my toddler to eat so he can continue to live THE DAD Him, refusing because he's 3
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  • 06
    Font - Life Is The Pitts Family @LifePitts I don't know who needs to hear this, but if your 4yo goes walking by the room lugging a step stool nothing good is about to happen.
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  • 07
    Chin - Me after I've already cleaned the living room six times and someone decides to smash a pop tart into the couch and dump a box of crayons
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  • 08
    Outerwear - When a toddler's feedback is so honest there's no recovery Zional Auto 101 -Hey, does this suit make me look fat? -No, your face does. THE DAD
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  • 09
    Font - Where did it go Mom @wherediditgomom *** 5 Ways to Handle Toddler Tantrums: -You can't -It's useless -Don't bother -Look at pictures from a year ago when they didn't act like this and remember the good times. -Scream with them
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    Font - Becky Vieira | Witty Otter @wittyotter_ Raising kids is like being constantly surrounded by a tiny sales team. They're always trying to persuade you into doing or buying something. And they assume everything you say is just an opening offer.
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    Nose - When a baby is crying and you want to give it back to its mom but you are the mom.
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  • 12
    Chair - My 5-year-old telling me a story about something that happened to him even though I was also there when it happened THE DAD R
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  • 13
    Primate - *Anywhere in public* Mom: Please don't touch anything Toddler: @PadPatrol
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  • 14
    Product - Random person without kids: I heard boys are easier than girls. Parents of every boy: Hold my coffee. EVERY DAY COMFORT OUR COTTON COLLECTION HAS ARRIVED @cynicalparent Cynical Parent
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    Font - Scarlett Longstreet @ScarlettPosner One day you heard your last, "Mom, will you wipe my butt?" And you didn't know.
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  • 16
    Font - Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom Tweet Me: Mommy just needs a little space right now. Child [perched on top of my head]: Why? 4:26 PM 5/20/19 Twitter for iPhone 1. . ill View Tweet activity
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  • 17
    Font - You: breaking down Your kids: Can I have a Snack
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  • 18
    Font - Aice is my Christmas name -... @AliceTaylorM I was singing You Are My Sunshine to my 3 year old and he told me he hates that song. I said that's a shame because I use to sing it to him when he was in my tummy before he was born and he looked me dead in the eyes and said "I hated it then too".
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  • 19
    Font - Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal [reading The Night Before Christmas] son: what's a kerchief? daughter: what's a clatter? son: what's a sash? daughter: what are coursers? son: what's soot? daughter: what's a peddler? son: what's a thistle? me: *closing book* Santa is fake. It's all fake. Goodnight.
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  • 20
    Font - THE DAD The Dad @thedad ME: Did you eat your entire Easter basket in 10 minutes?? SON: *Vibrating* I CAN THROUGH TIME.
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  • 21
    Forehead - PARENTING AT 8AM PARENTING AT 8PM
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  • 22
    Forehead - Me apologizing to my toddler for raising my voice at him and I feel guilty because I'm so tired and I'm doing my best and I love him so much and want him to be happy and @momsconfession My toddler: Yes, very sad. Anyway
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  • 23
    Font - No Idea: Daddy Blog @byclintedwards Watching "Back to the Future II" with 14yo, and he said "2015?! That's not the future. That was 6 years ago!" I just sat there, quietly, almost like I was at my own funeral, because I'd somehow outlived the future of my own childhood, and somehow I'm not already dead.
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  • 24
    Forehead - When you tell your kids it's bedtime and all of the sudden they're hungry, thirsty, and need to pee @DadPatrol [stares motherfuckerly]
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  • 25
    Eye - The real reason they discourage MRIs during pregnancy is because then people would realise they're incubating nightmare demons and would be rightfully terrified i bless the rains down in castamere @Chinchillazilla I hate this SO MUCH but I can't look away
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    Font - Them: what's it like to parent a toddler? Me: imagine if sitting down and silence were illegal
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  • 27
    Font - Dad and Buried @DadandBuried When you have more than one kid, you think the oldest will become both playmate and protector, but instead he turns into a power-mad dictator who rules his subjects with an iron fist.
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  • 28
    Organism - Derek Simpson @dereksimpson You're just going to have to trust me that I love my kids...I can't keep up with y'all's made up holidays. 11:24 PM 9/27/21 Twitter for iPad .
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  • 29
    Font - He pressed her up against the wall. She could feel his jorts bulging as he untucked his "World's Best Dad" t-shirt. She pushed him backwards onto the bed and he began to undress. "No." she said, "The New Balance 624s stay on." 49 Like Comment 15 Comments Send "I'm so hot" she proclaimed. "Hi hot, I'm dad" he whispered.
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  • 30
    Rectangle - IF YOUR MOMMA IS 29-38 KNOW THIS, DON'T TEST HER. MASTER P, THREE 6 MAFIA, AND DMX RAISED HER AND SHE AIN'T NEVA SCURRED.
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  • 31
    Font - THE DAD The Dad @thedad My wife has like 20% of a conversation in her head before she decides to bring me into it. We can be driving in silence and she'll just be like "and then we'll pick the kids up and go straight from there."
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  • 32
    White - 3:40 huffpost.com/entry/hilarious-pr 22 1:18 PM Jan 26, 2016 525 Sam @SufficientCharm f 182 people are Tweeting a... 5 Stages of Pregnancy: 1: Crying 847 2: Peeing 3: Crying because you peed 4: Peeing because you're crying 5: The toilet is your home now 11:25 AM. Apr 24, 2017 331 people are Tweeting a... A Bearer Of Dad News @HomeWithPeanut O I was reading to my kids today and in the story, there was a pregnant woman 99% :
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  • 33
    Font - 6:54 85° Z My mom as a mom: You get what you get, deal with it. 437% My mom as a grandma: Would you like your grilled cheese cut into stars or hearts?
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