Golden Child Tries to Upstage Her Sister By Wearing a Flashier Outfit at Her Wedding

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Sep 29, 2023 4:00 PM EDT

There are very few wedding rules that apply across all cultures. One of those rules is that nobody should try to upstage the bride. Mothers of the groom have tried it before, wearing "ivory" to weddings where the bride is wearing white while aggressively trying to justify it. I feel like women who do things like this must delusionally think that the attention they're getting for it is positive, but everybody who comments on a mere citizen wearing white at a wedding does it out of disdain and disgust. 

It's one thing for a weird older relative to pull focus at your wedding, but it's entirely more nefarious for your own sister to try and pull focus as part of your bridal party. The sister of a bride who is insecure about her looks is trying to defend her choice to wear a flashy bridesmaid outfit, and people are ripping her to shreds for it. 

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  • 01
    Font - r/AmltheAsshole u/WatercressFickle8074 20h AITA for telling my sister she will be insecure no matter what I wear to her wedding ?
    via u/WatercressFickle8074
  • 02
    Font - To preface this me (27f) and my sister (30f) are both of Indian descent from the United States. My sister is getting married in November and currently we are in the process of getting the clothes made for the wedding. Indian weddings are usually quite large and extravagant with several events. I as the bride's sister will be expected to dress very nicely so I am having my clothes custom made as well.
    via u/WatercressFickle8074
  • 03
    Font - Yesterday we went to our first fitting for the outfits and the moment my sister saw my outfits she was upset. I am having four different lehengas made which are like a crop top and a long skirt made for her wedding events. My sister on the other hand is choosing to wear suits which are like a long tunic with baggy pants on the bottom. My sister once she saw me in the outfits told me they were too revealing and would like me to wear something more toned down as she herself will be in a sui
    via u/WatercressFickle8074
  • 04
    Organism - we both look very different and have different body types so her choice of outfit is a much better fit for her. She got even more upset when I pointed out that several of our cousins will be wearing similar outfits to the wedding. She said she doesn't care what they do but that I should let her have the "spotlight" for this one event in her life.
    via u/WatercressFickle8074
  • 05
    Font - Here is where I may be the AH, I told her that no matter what I wear she will be insecure and her insecurities are for her to deal with. Indian moms can be quite blunt and I won't lie our entire life my mom has pointed out just how different we look physically. I can see why she would be insecure but I don't see why I have to cater to her insecurities. My mom agrees with me and told my sister I will be wearing the lehengas as that's what looks best on me. I'm not going to lie I think Indi
    via u/WatercressFickle8074
  • 06
    Font - For more context this what the lehengas I'm getting made looks like more or less: https:// www.utsavfashion.com/product/embroidered-net- tiered-lehenga-in-dark-green-lyc2462-sh22? geoip_country=us&&&gclid=CjwKCAjwgsqoBhBNEi wAwe5w067lubqFXd4XSvoKhOnmEWvZHwY_i70ux QzDrO4QeaDjWkP5y4LlahoCzhQQAvD_BwE&gclsr c=aw.ds
    via u/WatercressFickle8074
  • 07
    Clothing - 100 WAMo
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  • 08
    Handwriting - This what my sister would like me to wear: https:// www.suratwholesaleshop.com/catalog/panjabi- style-art-silk-new-designer-patiyala-salwar-suits- collection-for-wedding-function-17117
    via u/WatercressFickle8074
  • 09
    Shoulder - 米 非 業 # 米 #
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  • 10
    Font - Background_League809 19h Partassipant [1] As an Indian, YTA! Indian weddings are extravagant and everyone dresses up, because there is no fear of upstaging the bride. However in your scenario, the bride is dressing down and so should you! You will have your own moment when you get married. And judging by the statements like "for once" and your statements what will suit her makes you even worse AH! Shows you are the golden child and that your mother pitted you against your sister! I do hop
    via u/Background_League809
  • 11
    Rectangle - myironlions 18h Partassipant [1] ● Wanting to appear more bridal than the bride is an ugly look, no matter what she wears. It'll shine through. 10.5k
    via u/myironlions
  • 12
    Font - angelwarrior. 15h 100%! I've been a bridesmaid/maid of honor 10+ times. I wore the crap out of my ugly dresses and supported the brides because it wasn't about me! (Some of the dresses were hideous but it wasn't about the dress, it was about supporting my loved ones. I would've worn a potato sack if that's what they chose) 3.6k
    via u/angelwarrior_
  • 13
    Font - Banjo-Pickin 14h ● Haha me too and even when I suspected the dress was deliberately ugly and unflattering, I wore it with a smile because it was NOT ABOUT ME. OP, YTA. It's your SISTER. Either support her to have the wedding she wants, the way she wants it, or GTFO of the bridal party. Not cool. ... 4 1.4k
    via u/Banjo-Pickin
  • 14
    Font - Saithly • 15h ● Personally I wouldn't say wearing a lahenga would be more bridal because a fair amount of women at the wedding will be in lahengas or even saris which to me are even more bridal. However YTA, there was no need to insult your sister in that way, if you felt uncomfortable with switching your dress to a more garara style outfit maybe you could have tried to find a more middle ground. It after all is your sister's wedding a day which should be about her and her partner. ... 86
    via u/Saithly
  • 15
    Font - Professional Sir9978 - 16h Certified Proctologist [22] Sounds like we have a golden child on our hands. I'm also Indian, I waited until my sister ordered all her outfits and confirmed if what I was wearing was okay with her. She's my sister if she told me to dress down I would. It sounds like there has been a-lot of discussion about body image of the bride. 41.7k ↓
    via u/ProfessionalSir9978
  • 16
    Font - Bunny_Vicious. 15h This is what surprised me though. It's a bit wild to me that they had already placed orders for custom clothing and that the bride hadn't said something before ordering. If this has been an ongoing issue in the family I would think the bride would have talked to OP about expectations before she ordered her things. Unless the bride did talk to her sister already and sis ordered what she wanted anyway. 317
    via u/Bunny__Vicious
  • 17
    Font - Samichaan • 15h After reading all of this do you honestly think the bride was asked her opinion beforehand? I guarantee you her family put in the orders and she saw OPs custom lehenga when she got to try on her suit. Which is why she asked for a change then. And not sooner. I would even go so far as to guess that the bride probably had no say in basically anything regarding the wedding. ... 4618 618
    via u/Samichaan
  • 18
    Font - CoffinFlop-CornCobTV • 18h Well if many of the cousins and other family members are also wearing legengas, then why is it so terrible that one more person does? There are already going to be people wearing lehengas so l don't get why "that can easily be worn by a bride" is a valid argument. Is the bride going to kick out everyone who wears a lehenga that could also possibly be worn by a bride? ... 545
    via u/CoffinFlop-CornCobTV
  • 19
    Font - Background_League809 18h Partassipant [1] In indian weddings, tbh, brides rarely get to do anything more than just selecting their dresses and jewelry. Parents decide whatever they want to do venue, guests, time, and sometimes even the groom! And looks like the bride here has been fed with this notion that nothing else would look good on her (judging by the way wordings in the OP). So she chose a suit! A simple suit! Yea she cannot throw away other cousins and people but at the very least
    via u/Background_League809
  • 20
    Font - Rainbow_nibbz 16h looks like the bride here has been fed with this notion that nothing else would look good on her (judging by the way wordings in the OP). This because the part where OP says their bodies are different and a suit would just fit her sisters body type better really had me questioning. I've seen so many different body types/shapes etc in lehengas and they've all been gorgeous and I thought it suited all of them so we'll. It's really sad that this family has convinced sister
    via u/Rainbow_nibbz
  • 21
    Font - JuniorLobster • 19h YTA Why can't you let her have her day? And why is it such a big problem for you to "cater to her insecurities?" You'd rather not go because you don't get to wear what "flatters you" to HER wedding? Get some self awareness lady. Are you willing to hurt your relationship with your sister for a dress? Let me be "blunt:" You are shallow and your mom spoiled you. If I was your sister and I read this post I'd uninvite you and reconsider the relationship. Tone it down. ... R
    via u/JuniorLobster
  • 22
    Font - YourLittleRuth • 19h Colo-rectal Surgeon [43] You mother has pointed out 'how different we look physically'. It sounds so anodyne, doesn't it? So harmless. And yet here I am left with the suspicion that your mother has basically told your sister that she is fat and you are perfect. How lovely for your sister. In Western weddings there is a generally accepted rule that guests do not wear white. The idea is that you don't compete with the bride. It would be kind of you to accept that the br
    via u/YourLittleRuth
  • 23
    Font - ctrlrgsm 16h ● My mother and sister used to gang up on me. It makes you feel so powerless. I can still hear them..'oh we're just joking, you're so sensitive, you can't take a joke' etc I've accepted that it will never dawn on my sister that what she's doing is bullying, she just doesn't see it like that because she's on the fun end of it. This post reeks of it, I hope OP reads this and at least tries to be decent to her sister for her wedding. ... 41.4k
    via u/ctrlrgsm
  • 24
    Font - No-Kale3800 - 18h Partassipant [2] YTA! I am in the same place as you, my brother has asked me not to wear lehenga at the wedding since my sis in law is wearing a suit and she's conscious of her looks and weight. And I thought it was no big deal as we have so many beautiful suits! You don't have to wear one with the frumpy salwar bottoms! You can wear shararra, palazzo, garara!! There are so many beautiful and classy suits you can pick. Also, for your argument, that the other guests at th
    via u/No-Kale3800

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indian family drama aita bride wedding party bridesmaids sisters indians reddit story wedding bridesmaid family sister little sister mom weddings
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