'When I asked her about the differences in looks she had a meltdown': 20+ Singles share their experience being deceived and catfished by dates they met online

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Oct 10, 2023 6:00 PM EDT

A lot of things in life aren't what they seem, but at least we're terrifyingly used to disappointment, thanks to having most things oversold to us by advertising only to have the reality be somewhat lackluster in comparison. The liberal usage of old or adjusted photos on dating apps is just the same strategy that real estate agents use when they photoshop a tiny bed into a photo of a closet-sized room in order to make it bigger and justify selling a two-bedroom house as a three-bedroom. In both instances, the deceiver is hoping that once you've gone through the trouble to check them out, you'll find some other feature that you like about what's being presented… or you'll just sigh and shrug and go along with it. Of course, one might expect that this strategy wouldn't work all that often, but the prevalence of its use would say otherwise.

Witches brewing potions in caves might tell you that "fair is foul and foul is fair," and when it comes to dating, that's pretty much like saying, "Yeah, he might not have a lot going on physically, but at least his personality is nice." One thing is for sure, and every relationship and certainly every date you go on isn't going to end in eternal bliss, but that doesn't mean love isn't worth pursuing. 

These relationship hopefuls shared stories from their dating pasts, detailing their stories about when the person in the dating profile didn't quite line up with the person sitting in front of them… and in some cases, that's putting it mildly.

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  • 01
    Fashion - "When I asked her about the differences in looks, she had a meltdown."
    via René Ranisch
  • 02
    Font - Posted by u/headlessChaja Have you ever had a tinder date when your match in real life looked completely different from the photos in the app and how did those dates end?
    via u/headlessChaja
  • 03
    Font - DrRockenstein She had photos that made her look ok we got to talking and met up. She was out of my league. When I brought up her unflattering photos she said she gets enough attention with just that. Not too interesting of a story but I feel like it kind. of flipped the script on the average answer Reply Share 8.0k qpzl8654 I had a friend that did this. She is stunning yet put up average photos. It helped her draw a real dude rather than jerks. She's happily married now so it worked for h
    via u/headlessChaja
  • 04
    Font - IDont Who I don't think it's right to point that out, but she looked SO different that I wanted to say something so I told her I liked her photo to which she replied "Oh thanks. I think that was taken 12 years ago." Reply Share 3.6k JTanCan That seems like a nice way of broaching the topic. ↑ 966 ↓ Reply Share
    via u/headlessChaja
  • 05
    Font - CaptainTime5556 Friend of mine got a match with a woman whose profile photo was a young-adult redhead. In person she was a middle-aged Asian. 2.6k Reply Share ●●● Nerdyshal Ha! That's hilarious! Go big or go home I always say. ↑ 569 ↓ Reply Share
    via u/headlessChaja
  • 06
    Font - Cyanora Yes. She had either used a photo of a family member or it was a photo from a while back. Still had an ok time with her, but when I asked about the differences in looks she had a meltdown and that put a damper on things real fast 3.6k ↓ Reply Share ●●●
    via u/headlessChaja
  • 07
    Font - rickh956 Happened to me a few times when I was still dating. I just used those interactions as practice dates and tried to have a nice time. I didn't set up a second ones with them, I just moved on. 2.1k Reply Share
    via u/headlessChaja
  • 08
    Font - Billoby42 I had coffee with a lady last week. At one stage she pulled out her phone with my profile pic on it and asked: "How old is this photo?". I said a couple of years, which was true. (I didn't think I had changed very much... at 60, a year ot two is just a little bit more decrepititude.) But obviously she saw a great mismatch. And I have to face that I am probably ageing a lot worse than I had hoped. Yikes. ↑ 1.2k ↓ Reply Share ●●●
    via u/headlessChaja
  • 09
    Font - UTU LordsOfJoop Two times, yes. In the first instance, she was much, much better looking than her photos inferred, and we had a great dinner experience followed by dancing at a casino's convention center. No spark in either of us, and we agreed that we would be socially involved with each other until someone or something happened to one or both of us. In the other instance, there were a few significant red flags beyond the nonmatch to their photos: they brought three friends with them; we
    via u/headlessChaja
  • 10
    Font - Tiny Big_JarOfPickles Not me. Was in a bar for dinner with a buddy before a game. A bigger girl was seated next to us, not a looker. A guy came in, good looking dude, well dressed. Came up to the table and asked to confirm if she was his match. Next he says something along the lines of "you look nothing like your profile, sorry this is not going to work", and he left. ↑ 2.5k ↓ Reply Share
    via u/headlessChaja
  • 11
    Font - MabiMaia Kinda? When we started talking I had no idea she was almost six feet tall. She had no idea I was six inches shorter than her lol we were both mildly surprised but didn't care. We're getting married next month ↑ 696 Reply Share
    via u/headlessChaja
  • 12
    Font - Calym817 Not Tinder but another dating app. The guy used a photo that was at least 15 years old. There was already a gap between us with him being in his "early 40's" and I was in my early 30's. He turned out to be gropey and creepy. The date lasted about a half hour and I refused to see him again. 170 Reply Share
    via u/headlessChaja
  • 13
    Font - Shalista He was clean shaven in his pics. Okay. Maybe a 7/10. I swiped. First date he texts me to let me know he grew a beard over Covid and did I want him to shave it. No beard pics. Not wanting to be controlling for the first date I said I didn't mind the beard. He shows up and is an easy 10/10 with the beard. We're getting married next year and he's forbidden from shaving. Reply Share 921 ●●●
    via u/headlessChaja
  • 14
    Font - ad MistyMtnLady Once. I actually walked right past him. He approached me and said my name. I said "do I know you?" He was obese and used pictures from when he was slim, and he was absolutely unrecognizable. I told him he looked nothing like his photos and that I felt catfished. Then, I excused myself and walked right out the door. 593 ↓ Reply Share
    via u/headlessChaja
  • 15
    Font - velcrodynamite Met up with a guy recently, only to realize he was using pics from when he was about 18/19. Man's 35 and looked nothing like his profile. 451 Reply Share ●●●
    via u/ThrowAwayWasTaken999
  • 16
    Font - scubadonkey7383 This happened to me before and I wish I said something Next time this happens, I'm immediately making it known and excusing myself from the date I feel like a lot of people think they can get away with doing this because everyone is too nice to say anything 5 ↓ Reply Share
    via u/ThrowAwayWasTaken999
  • 17
    Font - DistributionWise2294 one time I had a middle eastern guy show up when I matched with a white dude and when I said he's not the one I matched with, he shrugged and said " yeah that's me. I'm just tanned." Imao Reply Share 6
    via u/ThrowAwayWasTaken999
  • 18
    Font - Few_Chance I have had this happen so many times I lost patience with it. I told the last one and walked off. I showed one of the pics to her and was like what is the deal. She said "its me", when I asked how many years ago it was, she laughed. 18 Reply Share
    via u/ThrowAwayWasTaken999
  • 19
    Font - [deleted] I've met like 20 guys who looked worse than their photos. I didn't say anything. What am I supposed to say? "Hey, dude, why did you have to take a photo from the angle where it looks like you don't have a lazy eye and a beer belly?" People want to put their best foot forward. Who can blame them? It's like using MSG in food - it's a flavor enhancer some don't appreciate, but not everyone cares. 22 Share
    via u/dontdobanal
  • 20
    Font - [deleted] A couple were more attractive in person. That was pretty cool. Exactly one had ambiguous photos, and when I met her I wasn't physically attracted. I made conversation for an hour, left, and politely declined a second date. Dudes do this too, ya know. 13 Share
    via u/dontdobanal
  • 21
    Font - [deleted] I've been on one date where the girl looked nothing like her profile picture. She had aged about 3 years and probably added a hundred pounds. I was mostly disappointed that she felt she had to effectively lie to get asked out. We still went out to dinner, but I promptly faded afterwards. There just wasn't any attraction and I didn't want to lead her on. 5 Share
    via u/dontdobanal
  • 22
    Font - Sairony 3 mo. ago My GF lived in Australia for a while when she was single, texted with some decently attractive match, he wants to meet up. When he shows it's a different much older guy, so my GF straight up just asks him what the fOhe's doing: "But if I use my real pictures no beautiful women will go on a date with me", she goes "Well no słQ, and I'm still not going on a date with you. I don't remember all the details but luckily she hadn't wasted a lot of time until they met up. Really
    via u/Elizabethhoneyyy

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