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37 Drunken Degenerates Share Their Craziest Black-Out Stories

You could say the night got away from them. 

mattstaff Posted by mattstaff
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  • 1
    Text - Sophomore in high school. Virgin. Woke up in a random bed in a random house with 4 naked chicks. EDIT: I was gonna leave the rest to your guys' imagination, but it turns out that we all got super drunk and I was the only one to black out. 2 of the girls pissed themselves, which is why they decided to get naked. I ended up passing out before the fun times started and ended up sleeping in a puddle of piss. I don't know how the other girls got naked. Oh and there was a random dog in the room
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  • 2
    Text - When I was sixteen, I drank a large amount of tequila at a party with my coworkers and passed out in the same bed as a guy I was kinda into. The next morning, a few of my coworkers tried to convince me that I'd had sex with him, and just didn't remember it. I was a virgin at the time and it was actually really horrible and traumatizing, because I couldn't remember what had happened and I wasn't really sure how to prove that I hadn't actually done what they said. I'm 23 now, and I'm 99% su
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  • 3
    Text - I used to be an "import/export specialist" delivering products from Washington D.C. to and from Florida. One day I was at a party after returning from Florida and had shit tons of cash. I was high as fuck from coke, weed, alcohol, and speed. I blacked out and came to on a beach. I was literally face down in the sand. I stood up and looked around and wondered "how the fuck did I get to Florida?!" I started looking around and it didn't look like Florida at all. WTF? So I stumbled to a parki
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  • 4
    Text - Booze and xanax. Don't try this at home, it's bad, etc. Shaved my head using a facial razor, threw up in toilet and tried to wash my face with the vomit toilet water. My drug dealer had to stay next to me in his friends bed after they washed me off to make sure T didn't die, because they kept having to check my breathing. tl;dr: shave, vomit, drug dealer, still alive
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  • 5
    Text - Apparently after going through half a bottle of gin I starts becoming familiar with trees and spouting political advice. To be fair it was a monogamous relationship with one individual tree and my political commentary mostly consisted of explaining how Arnold Schwarzenegger could have been a great President of CaliforniaTM I also started singing songs from Mulan later in the tent. I've yet to call that tree back nor have I gotten a call from the RNC for more advice
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  • 6
    Text - | (F) invited my two motorcycle buddies to my best friends (F) house to pick her up and go out. We ended up staying in and she brought out a bottle of gin. Things get out of hand and we're all wasted. When I woke up the next morning my best friend told me we got smashed and one of my friends tried to rape her. When drunk me found out I broke the door to her bathroom where he was hiding and I kicked him out of the apartment, down the stairs, and chucked the key to his bike into the dark ab
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  • 7
    Text - Not really half as crazy as some of the stories here, but I got crazy drunk at a festival last year and apparently I was following this really big guy around all night telling him how much I liked his belly
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  • 8
    Text - got home drunk as a skunk, and told my family i ate some bad shrimp hence the vomiting. i woke up in the bathtub with vomit all over me. someone also woke me up by running the cold water tap then there was this time i decided it was a good idea for me and my buddy to run full speed at each other with our heads. lost a tooth that time most recently i passed out on the shore of a lake and looked like a beached whale. i couldn't eat anything for 36 hours after that because i was vomiting pur
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  • 9
    Text - Halloween 2013 one of my friends was having a huge party and i had been drinking beer steadily until i had decided to take a goblet and put beer, tequila, everclear, and some Doctor Pepper in it. After 2 or 3 of said goblet concoctions i time travel about 3 hours to find out i had completely taken my dress shirt off to just be in a vest and a mask and kicked the DJ off his computer to do my own thing. Apparently i am a great dj when i black out and love to stone cold beers. Somehow didn't
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  • 10
    Text - In college, I lived in a dorm as a freshman, but moved off campus into an apartment the next year. One night, after getting completely obliterated and blacking out, I walked back to my old dorm room, (I assume) thinking that was where l still lived, climbed up onto the top bunk of a bunkbed, and went to sleep. I woke up the next morning, trying to figure out what happened and why I wasn't in my own bed, looked around and saw a guy sitting at his computer. "Where am 1?" I asked. He just tu
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  • 11
    Text - During my first party at college (I'm pretty much a lightweight) we started mixing strong drinks and about 4 or 5 in I blacked out. Found out the next morning that I had ordered a broccoli pizza, ate most of it, then proceeded to vomit it all up. Last thing I remember is lying on the ground next to my almost equally as drunk best friend, only seconds before I vomited. Another guy who I had met earlier that night who l got along with well ended up using the pizza box to scrape my puke off
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  • 12
    Text - Well not me, but I was talking to three Finnish chicks once (all sisters) and they said they bought a damn goat off some Finnish website that apparently sells goats. It showed up 3 days later, and they ended up giving it to their cousin who "knew how to take care of goats."
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  • 13
    Text - I once woke up on my friends couch wearing the clothes she was wearing was the night before. A few minutes after I woke up her boyfriend walked into the lounge room wearing the clothes that I was wearing.
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  • 14
    Text - My typically quiet ass got drunk enough to be the life of the party. Once. The next day all I heard was about how hilarious I was and how I was THE MAN with the ladies and got a few of them topless during our drinking game marathon. I woke up in a living room I had never been in before. They still call me Mr Party because of this.
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  • 15
    Text - During my bachelor party, I decided that I really liked the pool table that we were playing on. So, I crawled under it, and attempted to pick it up and take it outside to my CAR... Thankfully, my buddies (and a heavy ass pool table) stopped me. Looking back, I think it would have been an awesome wedding present to myself!
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  • 16
    Text - I was 16, living in Shanghai as an expat. School had just ended, meaning it was time to celebrate. The celebration, naturally, consisted of a metric fuckton of weed and a 1L bottle of vodka each, before heading to the bar. As is tradition. Once at the bar, my friend, who is just as fucked up hands me an open bottle of beer and tells me to drink it, which I happily oblige to. Once I finish, he and a few other friends go absolutely mental screaming "IT WAS PISS! I PISSED IN THE BOTTLE DUDE!
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  • 17
    Text - Took a history final and got a B. I didn't remember any of it and when I woke up the next day I panic called my professor and apologized for missing the final as I had a death in the family. Pleaded for him to let me take the final. When I finally let him talk he just laughed, a lot. He said I should quit drinking and I that I got a B. Got drunk that night, YOLO
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  • 18
    Text - I remember waking up the night after a student house party and looking for a takeaway to nurse me back to full HP on the google chrome app. My most recent search was "cn dwarvs sexx" So obviously I was like wtf does that even mean. Apparently I had been trying to get freaky with a really small girl on my course. Don't drink and drugs kids
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  • 19
    Text - My 21st birthday. My friends thought it'd be great for me to have 21 shots of Tequila with them. I was drinking cider. Woke up the following day, having: Kissed the barmaid Had a long, deep conversation with a girl I worked with, who then followed up days later with a birthday card and letter inside about how meaningful the conversation was Somehow thought those mini-fragrance bottles in the vending machines in the toilet were the best thing ever, and showed them to half the bar Got asked
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  • 20
    Text - My friends and I all got kicked out of a bar when we went to Canada. I was the only girl in our group. We apparently went to Hooters after that. I guess I thought it was a strip club and I somehow knew you are allowed to touch the strippers in Canada. When our waitress came over I guess I just grabbed her tits. I didn't believe that this happened until checked my purse in the morning and found my receipt had a phone number and a winky face
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  • 21
    Text - When I was a freshman in college, I didn't know how to hold my liquor, and being a 5'2 tall girl, it hit me quicker than a lot of my friends. I remember nothing, but my friends told me they couldn't find me at a co-op house party and started freaking out. They found me on the front lawn having an in depth conversation with a cop and a guy collecting cans. Apparently we were all laughing, the cop shook my hand and said "have a great school year!" and left, and I promptly vomited into some
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  • 22
    Text - drank a fifth of whiskey, drunkenly stole another fifth of whiskey, drank that fifth of whiskey, fell down a flight of stairs, collapsed on a university lawn, puked on my friend's bed, and died. In that order. Had to be revived by paramedics. I don't remember any of it, my friends had to tell me about it later. Would not do again.
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  • 23
    Text - A mate of mine caught a huge seagull and held on to it as it pecked the fuck out of his hands, then threw it screeching through the door of the pub he'd just been kicked out of, and we bolted. We woke up the next morning and he says, "What the fuck happened to my hands?" I've no idea what happened in the pub, but I suspect it was quite amusing.
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  • 24
    Text - Bought tickets for a black eyed peas concert
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  • 25
    Text - I was about to get my tonsils out a few years ago (am 29 now) and my brother, who is on his way to prison as we speak, insisted on getting me shitfaced at least once before the surgery. So he proceeds to take me to all his spots, introduce me to his friends, all the while slamming redbull vodkas. At some point I black out, but vaguely remember a ratty strip club for a few seconds, and then waking up the next day. He told me that I got us kicked out of the shittiest strip club in the city
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  • 26
    Text - I once passed out in the middle of the road in the fetal position and was nearly run over by a woman delivering newspapers. The woman stopped and tried waking me up but I was unresponsive. When the cops arrived they were able to wake me up and when I was asked how much I had to drink, I simply responded, "you're looking at it". The police then charged me with disorderly conduct and took me home. I had no recollection of what fully happened until it was in the newspaper
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  • 27
    Text - I woke in bed with a very large bowl of spaghetti bolognaise spilled under the Covers with me.
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  • 28
    Text - In Norway we have this tradition called russ, where the graduate students dress up in red, blue, black or white pants, drinking for 17 days (May 1. - 17.). And we have exams aswell I woke up drunk with a bottle of vodka under my teachers desk, on my exam day. I do not really remember it that well, but the teacher let me take the exam. Some friends told me that we where in some girls "russ van", drinking the whole night, and that they dropped me of outside the school 1 hour before the exam
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  • 29
    Text - Arrived home, took off my jeans in my kitchen but put my shoes back on. Then proceeded to head to bed, as I passed my dads room he was on his way to the bathroom and asked where my jeans were. I looked down and began to have a miniature panic attack because I thought I had left them in the taxi on my way home, along with my belongings This has happened a number of times.
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  • 30
    Text - Pissed on my friends suitcase and when i wasconfronted mid-pee i justified it by claiming i was "just pissing on this vacuum, dont worry"
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  • 31
    Text - Not much. Once I woke up after having a drinking contest with a 40-something punk rocker named Jake. I was seventeen at the time and not much of a drinker anyway, so l was obliterated. No memory of the night before except puking with Jake in the bushes in front of my friend's apartment, where I was staying for a week during a road trip Check my social media. This was like 2000, so I checked my livejournal. There was a message...from me...to me "Hey, I know you won't remember in the mornin
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  • 32
    Text - At my friend's 18th about ten years ago, I had stupidly mixed heavy alcohol with the medication I was taking at the time (I think it was fluvoxamine? for GAD) I remember joking around with my friends one moment, then the next I was cowering in the corner, tears streaming down my face with several worried friends around me. I snapped out of it with something like, "Oh, hey guys!" Apparently I had been sitting in the corner screaming out the name and phone number of the guy I had a crush on
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  • 33
    Text - I hopped on a bus to Kansas because, and this was quoted back to me when I called my brother for help getting back, "I want to find out if there's more corn in that shit hole than lowa." Edit: there wasn't more corn. I'm not from lowa. Sorry about that! Arkansan. It was a strange trip
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  • 34
    Text - Cut someone in line for pizza in New Orleans and they wanted to fight me. But I was too oblivious to even know someone was trying to fight me. I remember the pizza line, but not the danger.
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  • 35
    Text - They said I bought a hot tub online worth about $600. Checked my Amazon and found out they were right.
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  • 36
    Text - I apparently once lifted a couch cushion like it was a toilet seat. Then proceeded to vomit into the toilet. Closed the lid and went to sleep on the "toilet"
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  • 37
    Text - Got completely destroyed on an impromtu pub crawl, woke up in another country. Apparently the ferry from Stockholm to Turku is perfectly fine with borderline comatose passengers booking tickets and boarding
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