Jealous Teenager Ruins Stepsister's $3000 Quinceañera Dress, Protests When Told She Has to Pay It Back

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Oct 30, 2023 4:00 PM EDT

The only thing more difficult than conventional family dynamics are those in families that are the product of a second marriage. Sibling rivalries are only heightened when they're not your 'real' brother or sister. As a kid, it's easy to become insecure that a newfound dynamic at home might leave you feeling like an afterthought.

Acting out is to be expected in these kinds of situations, but it's not always the case that a child will go as far as one Redditor's teenage daughter. Posting on AITA, the mom queried whether she was in the wrong for disciplining her after a momentous event. After the sixteen year old fought with her nearly fifteen year old stepsister, she ruined her $3000 quinceañera dress with tears and marker pen.

Protesting when told she would have to pay back the cost by getting a job, Redditors were astounded that the mom worried she was doing the wrong thing. It was some truly spiteful behavior.

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  • 01
    Human body - r/AmltheAsshole u/Otherwise-Cycle-2441 • 21h AITA for making my oldest pay back a 3,000 dollar dress she ruined
    via Otherwise-Cycle-2441
  • 02
    Font - My oldest (Bethany 16) has a step sibling (Maria 14 almost 15). Bethany and I are white while my husband and Maria are Mexican descent They have been in each other lives since they were 6 and 7 and overall the relationship is good until recently. Maria quinceanera is coming up and my husband and his ex wife took her to get her dress.
    via Otherwise-Cycle-2441
  • 03
    Font - The dress and alliterations came to around 3000 dollars. My daughter has been very jealous of the whole party. I've informed her it is part of the culture just like when she had a huge sweet sixteen party with her friends. I spent more time with her to try to make her feel better about it and got her own much cheaper dress for the party.
    via Otherwise-Cycle-2441
  • 04
    Font - The party is suppose to be in two weeks but my daughter after an argument with Maria about the tv she scribbled sharpie all of the expensive dress and ripped the back. The story short everyone was p ssed.
    via Otherwise-Cycle-2441
  • 05
    Font - I gave money to my husband and his ex to try to get a new dress ASAP. I informed my daughter she will need to get a job and pay back the full price of the dress as punishment.
    via Otherwise-Cycle-2441
  • 06
    Smile - We got in a huge argument over it and the whole situation isn't fair that I am choosing Maria and being a huge jerk. Am I being a huge jerk.
    via Otherwise-Cycle-2441
  • 07
    Rectangle - LE NTA RaineMist 20h Colo-rectal Surgeon [38] Quinceanera dresses aren't cheap and your daughter is old enough to know better.
    via RaineMist
  • 08
    Handwriting - Otherwise-Cycle-2441 OP • 20h They are so expensive. I think the dress cost around 1,500 and then they get you with the fitting and under stuff. It's giant and puffy.
    via Otherwise-Cycle-2441
  • 09
    Font - ColdButCool33 20h Asshole Enthusiast [8] Bethany did a very bad, wrong, mean thing and I agree that she needs to make restitution for the dress. Has she acted out before like this? Or done anything worrisome? : G 47.6k ↓ Otherwise-Cycle-2441 OP • 20h This was the first thing to this extent. Usually it's just arguing, neither have never destroyed each others stuff before.
    via ColdButCool33
  • 10
    Font - FuzzyMom2005 20h Professor Emeritass [83] NTA. Bethany deliberately ruined a dress. She has to pay for it. If she had done this to a total stranger, would she claim you're choosing the stranger? If Maria had ruined one of her dresses, would she just let it go? Bethany's very close to becoming an adult. It's time she realizes that comes with responsibilities. COUN SUSU I wonder what Bethany would say after reading some of these comments - because I doubt you'll see many, if any, Y T A. Or
    via FuzzyMom2005
  • 11
    Font - Katz3njamm3r 19h Partassipant [1] Bethany needs to understand that she could be charged with a crime in different circumstances. You trash something worth that much you can get in serious criminal trouble and she is way way way too old for this behavior and definitely needs a job.
    via Katz3njamm3r
  • 12
    Font - Sha-Nanegins 20h Asshole Aficionado [15] NTA. Your 16 year old destroyed someone else's property. It is her responsibility to make restitution. This isn't taking sides, it's good parenting. And it wouldn't be a bad idea to impress upon Bethany that if this were the property of someone other than a family member, the police or court system would probably be involved. She's fortunate that her parent is willing to work out a repayment plan with her instead.
    via Sha-Nanegins
  • 13
    Font - o KMK_Direct 19h 100% this. She is old enough to understand what she did is wrong. This level of jealousy is also unhealthy, as is the lack of impulse control. It concerning enough that if this was my child the main punishment would not be paying back the dress, that is just pure restitution, not punishment, she would not be getting driving privileges till she is 17. The extreme lack of self control and no hesitation to act, despite knowing the likely consequences of destroying something
    via KMK_Direct
  • 14
    Font - Sloppypoopypoppy 20h Supreme Court Just-ass [128] INFO - Was there a big difference between what you spent on Bethany and what's being spent on Maria? Obviously, Bethany is an AH whatever happens as Maria hasn't done anything wrong and apart from small children, we don't express our upset by destroying other people's stuff, regardless of value.
    via Sloppypoopypoppy
  • 15
    Font - Otherwise-Cycle-2441 OP 20h ● I spent a lot for her sweet sixteen party around 4,000 for the venue and all that. Her party I think is around 6,000 in total but the cost is split between my husband and his ex. So he really spent 3000 on her party. The difference in the dress I got her is a lot. I only spent 450 on a dress she picked out for the party. You wear a basically a prom dress as a guest to a quinceanera not the huge fluffy dress that Maria is going to wear
    via Otherwise-Cycle-2441
  • 16
    Font - Sloppypoopypoppy 20h Supreme Court Just-ass [128] NTA - You spent a huge deal on her party, more than is being spent on Maria. I was wondering if there was some huge disparity in how they were treated but your daughter is being absolutely unreasonable for no reason at all. I think this is the perfect way to teach her a lesson, if she did this to someone outside the family, it would be a case of criminal damage so she is lucky this is all that's happening.
    via Sloppypoopypoppy
  • 17
    Vertebrate - Usrname52 18h Craptain [181] Yea, that's what I was thinking. If Bethany got a pizza party with 10 friends and a dress at TJ Maxx for her Sweet 16, that'd be very different. (Bethany would still be 100% in the wrong for destroying the dress though).
    via Usrname52
  • 18
    Font - Serious-Day5968 20h Partassipant [3] NTA. She's 16 not 5 years old. In 2 years she will be 18. If Maria was my daughter, Bethany wouldn't be allowed at the party. She can stay home grounded, she destroyed the dress what's next? The cake? Or decorations?. What she did was uncalled for. I would no longer trust her with any of the party things. Does Bethany at least seem remorseful? If not she can stay home.
    via Serious-Day5968
  • 19
    Font - Fwoggie2 20h Partassipant [4] Speaking as a parent albeit without stepchildren, a firm NTA. Bethany is old enough to understand that actions have consequences and she's just learnt a major one the hard way. Kudos to you for stepping in to resolve the situation in a fair way to both Maria and her parents and in addition for both allocating more time to Bethany before this happened and insisting she needs to get a job to pay reparations. At her age Bethany is going to find it takes a long t
    via Fwoggie2
  • 20
    Font - ΝΤΑ HappyTrifler 20h Asshole Enthusiast [8] Your daughter is almost an adult. She knew what she was doing was wrong. And let's be honest, she knew what she was doing was a crime. Tell her she can get a job and pay back the money or her stepsister and her parents can file a police report. I know that sounds harsh, but your daughter needs a wake up call. Otherwise she'll do something like this to someone else, and she'll end up going to jail.
    via HappyTrifler
  • 21
    Font - NGDGUnpunished 20h Professor Emeritass [76] NTA. Bethany is old enough to get behind the wheel of a car. She needs to learn impulse control and that actions have consequences. In addition to repaying the cost of the dress, I hope there are more immediate consequences like grounding, taking away phone privileges, etc. Hers were the actions of a spoiled child having a tantrum, not those of a maturing young woman. If this is normal behavior for Bethany, you should have her evaluated for ment
    via NGDGUnpunished
  • 22
    Font - GoreGoddezz 20h Asshole Aficionado [17] NTA. I am sorry but what your daughter did was cruel, wrong, narcissistic, and absolutely terrible. She needs to learn that she cannot get her way just because the attention is not about her. You absolutely need to stick up for Maria in this position. And if you don't, then you will be an a******
    via GoreGoddezz
  • 23
    Font - SagebrushPoet 18h Hispanic of Mexican descent here. I see a lot of top comments regarding the cost of the dress and the age of the daughter who did the deed. Both valid points. But we are not devoting enough attention to a very important detail; this girl attacked a whole family.
    via SagebrushPoet
  • 24
    Font - A Quinceñera is a very important milestone for a Hispanic lady, a transition from childhood to adulthood similar to a Bat Mitzvah. If they went so far as to get "the dress", then there is also a long line of people who sponsor other important details of the event, like the cake, the photographer, etc. There will be family members who have been waiting years for this event, putting in hours of overtime and effort to get just the right outfit, just the right gift. There are very likely peop
    via SagebrushPoet
  • 25
    Font - This is an event that is right up there with weddings and funerals. Where family members who haven't seen each other in years gather. Ever since the Covid lockdowns, that has an extra level of importance. And to ruin the centerpiece of that event affected many people on a deep and personal level. Personally, I would like to see that this girl is given a chance to publically apologize at the party. This will give her the chance to think about what she did and learn from this experience. Pa
    via SagebrushPoet

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step sister aita teenagers quinceanara am i the asshole Party argument fighting family expensive sister dress Reddit mom
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