'They have sent out 5 different reps to see us...to be greeted by me dressed in a chicken suit': Workplace bands together to stop telemarketers with creative tactics

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Nov 4, 2023 5:00 PM EDT

This dude is the kind of coworker we all dream of having: he's not afraid to push the limits, and he is hilarious while doing so. 

This is a story about telemarketing calls that would not stop. Perhaps you yourself are familiar with telemarketers. They were incessant during the 1990s and early 2000s: it was common to receive call after call during dinner time. You and your family would be sat around the table eating a chicken dinner, only for a random number to call and start asking questions. As soon as you'd hang up on them, another person would just call and take their place. It was maddening, and you'd have to take the phone off the hook during mealtimes. (For our younger readers, before cell phones, we had landline phones with a cord, a hook, and a receiver. They were attached to the wall, usually in your kitchen. We literally all just talked on the phone standing around, in some common area, and this was a normal thing. Modern cell phones are a big improvement!) 

The only reason telemarketers stopped their tirade on landline phones was due to government regulation… but they certainly find ways around that. They still love to call businesses! And, in a move that was so quaint as to be adorable, in the year 2022, I was faxed an advertisement in the workplace. Someone faxed an ad to the office, and it printed out, using up our ink and costing us money in return. We were collectively hooting and hollering at the nerve someone had to try and sell us something this silly way. These people have no shame. 

Next up, check out a few school fails, like one school that refuses to stop playing "Baby Shark" on repeat. 

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  • 01
    'You want a meeting to discuss our phone account? Ok, let's have a meeting!'
    via u/evil_hound
  • 02
    You want a meeting to discuss our phone account? Ok, let's have a meeting! M OC I'm not sure if this belongs in Petty Revenge or Malicious compliance for there's a little of both - so sorry if this has been put in the wrong place. Either way I've enjoyed my malicious revenge/compliance so I hope you do.
    via u/evil_hound
  • 03
    For the past few years our business has been receiving telemarketing calls from an offshore call center trying to make appointments for "Optus Business Centre". Every time they call, we'd politely tell them we were not interested and to remove us from their list and they'd promise not to call again.
    via u/evil_hound
  • 04
    You can probably tell by my use of the words "every time" that having ourselves removed from the list didn't work. It didn't work the first time, and it didn't work the 50th time. Offshore are cheap, and get paid per appointment. So they would get quite aggressive. It was clear that a new strategy needed to be found as it was taking too long to get them to off.
    via u/evil_hound
  • 05
    So began my campaign of malicious compliance/petty revenge... "Hi we're calling from Optus business centre and we can save you 40% on your mobile phone bill! Can we come and see you tomorrow at 11am?"
    via u/evil_hound
  • 06
    You can save me 40% of my mobile bill? That's like sixty Grand a month! "What? How many phones do you have?"
    via u/evil_hound
  • 07
    150 or so that I'm responsible for directly, plus a few others.. The appointment is quickly confirmed. The next day a salesman calls me up he's running early - can we meet earlier. I refused. Our appointment is for 11am after all.
    via u/evil_hound
  • 08
    11am rolls around and in he walks - we sit down in reception and go through the greetings. I then ask him if it's possible to make the telemarketing calls stop now. He assures me that it is, and so I stand up, shake his hand and thank him for coming in.
    via u/evil_hound
  • 09
    What? That's it? You could have said that over the phone! I point out that we did. Many times, and it didn't work - and I hoped that this waste of his time (45 min trip from Homebush to Sydney) would perhaps teach him to mend his ways.
    via u/evil_hound
  • 10
    Over the past 2 years they have sent out 5 different reps to see us. They call for meetings - we accept them, shine them on about the value of the account and they roll in to be greeted by me dressed in a chicken suit; made to wait in our meeting room for 20 minutes before being asked to be removed from the list; being turned away at the door (they sent two reps that time).
    via u/evil_hound
  • 11
    I'm posting this today because it was visit number 6 and it was the best yet. We got a repeat customer! I sat him down in the meeting room and played the video recording of our last meeting :) Is that you ? Yes! It's me! Didn't I follow up ? Did we have a good Meeting?
    via u/evil_hound
  • 12
    I point out that I certainly enjoyed our last meeting, and zoomed forward in the video to the part where I explained that we didn't have 500 mobile accounts - and he needed to please remove us from their list and you could see his heart break. Which it did again, once he realised that whatever account he thought was being discussed today was not going to be discussed. Which we also have on video, so we can go all inception if/when he shows his face again.
    via u/evil_hound
  • 13
    Edit: https://pasteboard.co/ICnJFPn.jpg Here's me in the chicken suit prepping for the meeting apparently hugged to death, try this: https://imgur.com/kKsHycQ Edit2: Yes, it's a duck costume not a chicken suit. But we've called it the chicken suit in our office for years now, so forgive the fowl language error.
    via u/evil_hound
  • 14

    Check out this amazing costume! A round of applause for OP!

    Cheezburger Image 9832819968
    via u/evil_hound
  • 15
    decker_42 At the third level of tele- ception he may forget that he is in a dream and never be able to wake up. Also, this is legendary grade trolling.
    via u/decker_42
  • 16
    froal For people working in Telecommunication, they don't seem to be communicating much internally...
    via u/froal
  • 17
    Corsair_inau Set the appointment for 9:00am, then they get the joys of Sydney peak hour traffic... 243 Reply Share evil_hound OP and I would be there an hour later. One of the meetings was for at 1. They arrived 2 hours early. I made them wait.
    via u/Corsair_inau
  • 18
    DoctorGarbanzo. Wait... Did you say chicken suit? Do you mean that literally, or is "chicken suit" slang for something that I'm not familiar with? 162 Reply Share evil_hound OP I mean a full chicken suit, with rubber flippers, a chicken head and a tail.
    via u/DoctorGarbanzo
  • 19
    cynic_male I don't care what the correct sub is, you are a genius
    via u/cynic_male
  • 20
    80moose I so hope the same rep comes back a third time. معدان 377 Reply Share ryanknapper The video of the video should be playing on the largest screen possible, in the middle of a pizza party.
    via u/80moose

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boss workplace-stories jobs job marketing malicious compliance funny story bosses work coworkers malicious-compliance-reddit telemarketer workplace coworker malicious compliance reddit
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