'Our family is split on who is wrong': Parents give financial support to their 2 daughters but not their son based on a decision he made 8 years ago

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
Nov 8, 2023 6:00 PM EST

This is a tricky situation, but most of Reddit seems to be on the parents' side. Let us know what you think:

When these 3 siblings became adults, their parents gave them a choice on whether or not to live with them. If they did, they had to pay rent, but the rent went into a savings account that they got access to later in life. The 2 daughters went this route; however, the son thought that parents should not charge their children to live with them, so he parted ways. 

Fast forward 8 years, and the son needs help purchasing a home for his wife and their first child. Because his parents gave his sisters a substantial amount of money to purchase their homes, he thinks he's entitled to a similar sum. His parents think otherwise, and it's caused a divide in their family. Keep reading for the full scoop and see what a few Redditors had to say in the comments. 

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  • 01
    Posted by u/Odd_Version_1196 2 days ago AITA for not giving my son the same opportunity due to his choices? 2
    via u/Odd_Version_1196
  • 02
    My wife regularly use Reddit and recommended me to post on here because our family is split on who is in the wrong. I 56m have 4 kids together with my wife 54f, we have 3 daughters, Chloe 32f, Wendela 30f and Emily 24f, we also have one son, Lucas 26m. Me and my
    via u/Odd_Version_1196
  • 03
    one son, Lucas 26m. Me and my wife have since the birth of each one of our kids put in monthly payments in a college fund for them. The amount in the funds was enough to cover for all four kid's college education.
    via u/Odd_Version_1196
  • 04
    Our kids all choose different paths in life, wether it was their degree, place of education or what type of school, they all went with something different. When our oldest, Chloe graduated high school, she talked to us about how she was unsure what she wanted to do with her life and had been thinking about taking a gap year.
    via u/Odd_Version_1196
  • 05
    We talked with her and told her it was her choice, that if that was what she wanted she should do it and not rush in to education. She did take 2 years, during these years she worked and in an agreement with me and my wife payed us 250$ in rent each month to continue living with us.
    via u/Odd_Version_1196
  • 06
    She still ate our food, we cooked for her and still bought her necessities. The 250$ were put in a savings account that we gave her access to when she and her now husband was beginning to talk about buying a house.
    via u/Odd_Version_1196
  • 07
    Even though the situation was not the same with each kid, they all knew about this and the plan for how the money would be used. Wendela lived with us for 3 years after college, Emily lived with us during college. They both took part in this. The issue is with
    via u/Odd_Version_1196
  • 08
    my son, he like his oldest sister wanted to take a gap year. We encouraged him to do so, he asked if he could stay with us. We told him yes, but told him about the rent situation. He was not happy with this, saying that he
    via u/Odd_Version_1196
  • 09
    was our son and we should want him to live with us for how long he would need to. We explained what the money would be used for, he said he did not give a s He was very angry with us for a long time and ended up staying with a friend of his.
    via u/Odd_Version_1196
  • 10
    This all happened around 8 years ago. We have a good relationship now with both him and his wife whom are excepting our first grandchild. He recently brought up how all his sisters got money to buy a house, showed me pics
    via u/Odd_Version_1196
  • 11
    of a house that he and his wife had been looking at. I said it looked nice, to which he responded with asking when I could give him the money. I told him that he made a choice when he was 18 and that he would not receive any money, he said that it
    via u/Odd_Version_1196
  • 12
    was unfair and that he was young and dumb and should not be punished for it. I told him that I did not have that kind of money to just give him. He left the house after arguing a bit more, my wife and his sisters all are on my side. However his
    via u/Odd_Version_1196
  • 13
    wife and my mom have said that I am in the wrong and I should want my grand baby to have a place to live and should not punish him for mistakes he did as a young boy. AITA for not giving him the money?
    via u/Odd_Version_1196
  • 14
    Edit: When each kid got access to the rent money, it was in a savings account. However, before it was put in a fund so the money grew. Explained it really bad, sorry.
    via u/Odd_Version_1196
  • 15
    Edit: Many people have asked about this so I add it here, he did go to college, I was at his graduation and he uses his degree today. What the four of them choose to do with their college fund was up to them, but from my understanding they all uses it for college. If they did not,
    via u/Odd_Version_1196
  • 16
    then they did not. I have never asked any of them for proof of what the money was used for, so that is my I can't say with a hundred percent certainty that it did go towards their education.
    via u/Odd_Version_1196
  • 17
    Annoyed Redheaded Mom 2 days ago NTA You can't give what you don't have. These are two different situations. Out of curiosity, did he ever go to college, and did you pay for some or all of it?
    via u/AnnoyedRedheadedMom
  • 18
    Odd_Version_1196 OP. 2 days ago He did go to college, from my knowledge the amount saved in the fund was enough for his whole education + a bit left over
    via u/Odd_Version_1196
  • 19
    Wide-Heron-1015 2 days ago Pooperintendant [53] ● NTA at all. From what I understand, you never GAVE the other kids money. You just kind of held on to their own money and gave it back to them lol. Dude should have taken your offer. If you're looking to adopt any more adults, I can 100% do that rental agreement with you lol
    via u/Wide-Heron-1015
  • 20
    LoveBeach8 2 days ago ● Prime Ministurd [492] ΝΤΑ He was legally an adult when he made his choices at 18. He was mad at paying rent to you, knowing full well that the rent money would be put aside for him to use later. He split.
    via u/LoveBeach8
  • 21
    His actions have consequences and instead of being mad at you, he should be mad at himself. No one gave me the money to buy my own house. I did it by working hard, getting my credit scores up and saving money. Apparently he doesn't
    via u/LoveBeach8
  • 22
    think he should have to work for it. He thinks everything should be handed to him on a silver platter. He has some growing up to do. Hopefully, his grandma (your mom) won't hand him money for a house.
    via u/LoveBeach8
  • 23
    LVII L 00 davidcornz 2 days ago I mean they paid 250 a month in rent but op defiantly paid about the same for them living there. So basically they got to live at home for free but put 250 in the bank.
    via u/davidcornz
  • 24
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    via RDNE Stock project

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family drama aita daughters parenting advice entitled reddit thread Reddit money son parents
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