'We're coworkers, not friends': Introverted coworker gets their wish after ungraciously declining invitation
Introverts aren't really known for being socially forthcoming. In fact, that's kind of the entire point. Rather than attending parties, drinks, and after-work hangouts, they'd prefer the relative silence and peace of their own company, often preferring only to engage with others over shared interests, activities, and hobbies. Let's be honest: for most introverts, engaging in the required social interactions at work is more than enough, and many won't feel a particular need or even the ability to engage with their own friends after work—let alone spend any more time than necessary in the reluctant presence of their coworkers.
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But, as an introvert myself, I know that there's an important distinction between being politely pleasant when declining invitations versus being abrupt, discourteous, and even antisocial. Sure, you might not mean to put your extroverted coworkers in their place by dismissing their invitation, but you may inadvertently be doing so. And if you are intending to be discourteous, you'd better be prepared to face the inevitable consequences. Success in the workplace is largely dependent on social and political standing, so if you label yourself as unpleasant, you're going to have some issues.
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This was the essence of the discussion that occurred in this thread. This worker recounted how their introverted behavior and repeated declination of their coworkers' invitations put them in an increasingly difficult position, as their coworkers continued to persistently invite them to their after-work drinks and other events. When one of the coworkers asked why the worker always declined their invitations, the worker responded that it was because they were “Coworkers, not friends.” This marked the point of a dramatic change in their workplace relationships as their coworkers began to avoid them entirely.
The worker, wondering what they should be doing about the situation, shared their experience with this popular online community, where commenters resoundingly voiced that the worker had gotten what they had wished for and had no one to blame for their current predicament but themself.
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