43 Cheeky Marriage Tweets For Silly Spouses Whose Family Saga Deserves A TV Series

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Tammywainer
Nov 26, 2023 5:00 PM EST

Marriage is when the happily ever after begins, it is also part of your very own reality TV show that brings all the drama and entertainment. Laughter may be the best medicine but thanks to marriage it may be the secret ingredient.

For husbands and wives marriage could feel like total chaos but really it's just an opportunity for some witty marriage entertainment. It is like your personal reality TV show with scenes that should maybe be left for the big screen. Spouses sharing those funny, quirky moments with each other is what makes married life the rollercoaster it is, after all, what's a union without a few giggles over toilet seats or failed attempts in the kitchen? Yes, not everyone should see your dirty laundry but that's the beauty of those unique silly moments, turning them into a comedy show to share with the world, after all, marriage is worth celebrating. 

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  • 01
    David Hughes @david8hughes Follow Text from wife: I'm so sorry, I'm gonna be about half an hour late Me [forgot we were even meeting, still in bed]: you always do this
    via @david8hughes
  • 02
    Inappropriate Charm @LackOfShame Follow Relationship Status: Married long enough to know when I hear her say "I love you," she's talking to our dog.
    via @LackOfShame
  • 03
    Rodney Lacroix @moooooog35 Follow Me: Wanna have a quickie? Wife: Sure! Me: OMG really? Wife: Wait. Did you say quickie or cookie?
    via @moooooog35
  • 04
    Jon @ArfMeasures Wife: There is something wrong with you Follow Me: What a thing to say just before our dog's first salsa lesson
    via @ArtMeasures
  • 05
    Josh @iwearaonesie Follow 90% of marriage is one person looking for something where the other said it would be and yelling that it's not there
    via @wearaonesie
  • 06
    Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer Follow Someone call or text my husband and tell him that dinner at Applebee's is not a "night out on the town."
    via @Parkerlawyer
  • 07
    "Bare Minimum Parenting" in b... @XplodingUnicorn Follow Marriage pro tip: When your wife comes home from the store and shows you what she bought, you better make sounds like you're watching fireworks.
    via @XplodingUnicorn
  • 08
    John sleeps on the couch @atomicmojo Follow My wife and I have his and hers closets, which is another way of saying my wife has two closets.
    via @atomicmojo
  • 09
    Erica Tries To Tweet @Erica Who To You Dear Abby, Follow I told my husband I didn't want a grilled cheese when he was making one and now I want a grilled cheese. What do I do?
    via @EricaWhoToYou
  • 10
    JPo @Peauxtassium My husband unloaded the dishwasher so I guess now it's time to have a parade for him Follow
    via @Peauxtassium
  • 11
    The Cre Master @Jmboyd58 Follow *wife runs back into our house which is on fire* What are you doing!? W:I just want to straighten up a little before the firemen get here
    via @Jmboyd58
  • 12
    Charlotte Christmas @jellybnbonanza Follow [husband opening refrigerator] Me: "What are you looking for?" Him: "I don't know, but I'm sure we don't have it"
    via @jellybnbonanza
  • 13
    eric @ericsshadow Follow my wife and i can't agree on where to eat so this time we're going to her favorite restaurant then next time we'll go to her other favorite restaurant
    via @ericsshadow
  • 14
    URSULA @3sunzzz Follow It is impossible for my husband to drive by a gas station without announcing the price of gas.
    via @3sunzzz
  • 15
    Oops!...I Dad It Again @NewDadNotes Therapist: what's your greatest fear? Wife: that we'll outlive our kids. Me: the Pillsbury biscuit container. Therapist: um what? Me: I can't tell when it's gonna pop open. it really freaks me out. Follow Wife: I want to change my answer to that.
    via @NewDadNotes
  • 16
    Simon Holland @simoncholland Follow One fun Christmas tradition we have is waking up tomorrow and getting to see where my wife moved all the ornaments we hung on the tree today.
    via @simoncholland
  • 17
    URSULA @3sunzzz Follow My husband wrote a note so he would remember to ask me how my hair appt went, in case you're wondering what it's like to be married 25 yrs.
    via @3sunzzz
  • 18
    "Bare Minimum Parenting" in b... explodingUnicorn I bought a dozen doughnuts for me and my wife. Follow She said, "Oh, good. We'll have leftovers." Then we both laughed.
    via @XplodingUnicorn
  • 19
    Bart @jbmsoccerdad Follow "I don't have the authority to make that decision." My stock answer when someone asks me if my wife and I would like to do something.
    via @jbmsoccerdad
  • 20
    The Dadvocate @thedadvocate01 Wife: IT'S OVER! GET OUT! Me: Ok, good luck killing spiders Wife: Wait Follow
    via @thedadvocate01
  • 21
    "Bare Minimum Parenting" in b... @XplodingUnicorn I wish when my wife said, "You're a monster," she meant the cool kind with fangs and muscles and not the me kind who ate all her cheesecake. Follow
    via @XplodingUnicorn
  • 22
    Josh @iwearaonesie wife [on phone] Did you preheat the oven like I asked? me: Yep wife: What temperature? me: 534 wife: That's the clock Follow me wife me: 535
    via @iwearaonesie
  • 23
    brent @murrman5 Follow [commenting under wife's facebook status where she thanks everyone for coming to our son's bday party] do we have any mustard?
    via @murman5
  • 24
    not the WORST mom @nottheworstmom *RSVP'ing to Christmas party* Follow Whispering into phone: is it ok if I bring my weird roommate? Husband, from behind me: STOP CALLING ME THAT
    via @nottheworstmom
  • 25
    Simon Holland @simoncholland [Me, on my deathbed] Wife: Is that what you're going to wear? Follow
    via @simoncholland
  • 26
    Chad Read @squirrel74wkgn *tosses bath towel on hotel floor* [text from wife at home] "Pick that up." Follow
    via @squirrel74wkgn
  • 27
    "Bare Minimum Parenting" in b... @xplodingUnicorn Follow I sent my wife a text. Her typing bubble popped up for 10 minutes. All she sent me was "K." I'm as good as dead.
    via XplodingUnicorn
  • 28
    Ashley Austrew @ashleyaustrew Follow Just put on fancy socks and a night shirt with no food stains so I can try to seduce my husband later.
    via @ashleyaustrew
  • 29
    Steve @papa_can preach Me: I'm so excited to go to bed! *strips off and jumps into bed* Husband: "Ohhhh yeah.." Me: "IT'S CLEAN SHEET DAY!!!" Husband: *sigh* Follow
    via @papa_can_preach
  • 30
    DPW @pondermymaker (100 miles from exit) Wife: You need to get in the right lane. Follow DE
    via @pondermymaker
  • 31
    Robert Knop @FatherWith Twins "I don't want popcorn" Follow - My wife, who's about to eat half my popcorn during this movie
    via @FatherWithTwins
  • 32
    mark @TheCatWhisprer Follow [watching as my wife throws out a box of miscellaneous cords] no! my legacy
    via @TheCatWhisper
  • 33
    Sugarballs TinkyWinky @c12h22011balls Follow Levels of Husbanding - Grocery Store Edition 1. Waits in car while wife "runs in" 2. Allowed inside to push the cart 3. Can choose gluten-free snacks for kids lunches 4. Consulted on which is the perfect carton of eggs 5. Trusted to select the freshest *insert produce name*
    via @cc12h22011balls
  • 34
    Me: The Dadvocate @thedadvocate01 [standing] [standing] [standing] [standing] [standing] [standing] [standing] [standing] [standing] [standing] [sits] Wife: Can you... Follow
    via @thedadvocate01
  • 35
    Trophy Wife @DaynaSD Follow Sometimes I like to ask my husband if he notices anything different about me just to watch him panic and lie.
    via @DaynaSD
  • 36
    Tracie Tom atracietom Follow Me watching my husband quietly close the dishwasher after taking just one clean dish out
    via @tracietom
  • 37
    SpacedMom @copymama Follow Me: We have to leave for dinner in 5 minutes, are you ready? Husband, in stained cargos and old holey t- shirt: YUP! *begins repainting front porch*
    via @copymama
  • 38
    Jeff @dads/peopletoo Follow If Medusa was married, her husband would pull dead snakes from the drain every day while she continually brought up the one time he left the toilet seat up.
    via @dadsrpeopletoo
  • 39
    Walking Outside In Slippers @WalkingOutside Follow Marriage is an endless cycle of love, trying to understand each other, and seeing who can withstand the overflowing trash cans longer.
    via @WalkingOutside
  • 40
    Samantha Joel @datingdecisions Follow I just found out that my husband fills the dog's water dish not from the tap, but from the fridge's water purifier feature. "She'd do the same for me", he said.
    via @datingdecisions
  • 41
    Julie Burton @ksujule Follow Husband: I need your credit card to buy something off Amazon. Me: I have it memorized, ready? Husband: WHAT?! Me: What.
    via @ksjulie
  • 42
    Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4 Follow If anyone wants to know what it's like to be married for over 20 years, my husband just walked out the door & drove away without saying where he's going & I just shrugged & turned on Netflix.
    via @sarcasticmommy4

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