'You have your own home, eat there': Girlfriend Overstays her Welcome at Boyfriend's Parents' House, Gets Labeled a Freeloader

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  • 01
    Posted by u/Stunning_Energy_1932 6 days ago AITAH for getting upset and hurt at my boyfriend for asking me to, "give a little more" after his parents complained that I'm a free loader whenever I come over their home?
  • 02
    A little backstory. I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year, he does live at home with both of his parents. We are both in our early 30s, and it is a bit uncomfortable with dating since he lives at home, but financially he's saving a lot of money and with today's market, it makes sense.
  • 03
    However, the past few months I've been coming over 2 to 3 times a week to his parents house around dinner time and to sleepover. Every night, my boyfriend's mother makes dinner for everybody. She can get kind of cranky and irritable, so we all just try to give her her own space in the kitchen.
  • 04
    But whenever she asks for my help, I always give her whatever assistance she may need. I also do whatever tasks she wants around the house, including sweeping/cleaning the floors, cleaning up the kitchen and the dishes after dinner, buying things outside of the home that she may need/asks for, pickup up her vegetable/fruit COOP at the local farm when she's out of town.
  • 05
    Over Thanksgiving day weekend, my boyfriend asked his parents if I could sleep over Saturday night. His parents stated they didn't want me to sleep over that night, so I did get kind of sad, but I went home and he slept over my place that night. But after I left that night (and before my bf came to my place), they got in a heated fight about it all.
  • 06
    His mom stated, "she shows up right at dinner and we feel Ike she's free loading. She doesn't offer to help out or help out while I'm cooking. She doesn't help prepare the food with me." While his dad said, "I don't like having her here because it feels like i can't be comfortable when she around."
  • 07
    My boyfriend said he did defend me during this argument with his parents. He said that he listed off things of how I helped her in past instances, and gave examples of how I always clean up the kitchen, and I always do everything she asks of me.
  • 08
    But what hurt my feelings is that my bf wants me to, "give a little bit more and help out more just so she shuts up about it." But I find that insulting bc I've done nothing wrong!!
  • 09
    Single-Advantage-164 · 6 days ago Don't go to your mother-in-law's house anymore. It's not your boyfriend's house, it's his parents'. On the other hand, doesn't YOUR BOYFRIEND help with cooking and cleaning?
  • 10
    What does he do while you sweep and wash the dishes? Keep in mind that if you marry you will also marry the family.....look carefully if you want to be there. 11.6k Reply Share
  • 11
    Eliza-Day 6 days ago Aficionado [12] Enough is enough. You have your own home, eat there. You have overstayed your welcome big time. 3 4.0k Reply Share
  • 12
    Dashcamkitty 6 days ago ● She has overstayed her welcome but this is her boyfriend's fault. He sounds like he could afford his own place but he prefers to live with his parents. That's fine but he can't carry on like a teen in his first relationship. 3.7k Reply Share
  • 13
    Beneficial_Ship_7988. 6 days ago Mom, Dad, can my girlfriend spend the night? Pleeeease! 2.8k Reply Share Fluid-Delivery-7788. 6 days ago In his THIRTIES 1.9k Reply Share
  • 14
    lyan-cat 6 days ago • Partassipant [1] Honestly it sounds like they're taking frustrations out on you that they should be handling regarding their own son. They're done having people there but they can't say it out loud. So you're the Bad Guy.
  • 15
    Nothing you do will keep you from being the Bad Guy in their house. So don't go over. If they want you over, they can issue an invitation. NTA. Go take care of yourself and don't worry about his miserable parents. 1.4k Reply Share
  • 16
    dls9543 I would send flowers with a note: "I am so sorry for overstaying my welcome and making you uncomfortable." ● 6 days ago Another suggestion: Invite them for dinner at your apartment. Treat them to being pure guests. Even if you order in or make something simple, they'll appreciate the gesture.

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