'He caught a raccoon and didn't know what to do next': 30+ Hilarious reasons people called emergency help lines

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Dec 8, 2023 5:00 PM EST

I never could've guessed just how many people will call emergency help lines over issues with birds. That was a common theme on this absolutely hilarious question posed by u/Abrera: "9-1-1 Operators of Reddit, what are some of the funniest things someone has called in for?"

These emergency line workers have a serious job. Helping people in their most critical moments is crucial, and someone has to do it. It must be a huge relief to get a few calls like the ones below. If you're helping injured people all day and then a dude calls you because his head is stuck in a cat tree? They must have been laughing their face off. That story gets even funnier, because the guy had his head stuck in a cat tree, with said cat still inside with him! Neither cat nor human was thrilled about this scenario. The human emerged with a few scratches, and presumably learned a lesson about getting too up close and personal with a cat who's just trying to chill. 

Check out all of these amazing anecdotes below. It's very funny and it's an interesting look behind the scenes of an emergency help line. Next, this nursing student was trying to learn, but their teacher had a major hangup about their choice of shoes. 

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  • 01
    'A woman called 9-1-1 because there was a baby lizard in her computer'
    via Julian Hochgesang on Unsplash
  • 02
    911 Operators of Reddit, what are some of the funniest things someone has called in for?
    via u/Abrera
  • 03
    jajison I only worked dispatch for a few months and I got a call for a fish being stuck in a woman's ear.
    via u/jajison
  • 04
    051-²) indigofoxgivesnofox. I had a guy call in on 911 because he was concerned about a seagull he thought was injured in a Chipotle restaurant parking lot. Apparently while on the phone, he tried to pick up or check on the bird at which point the bird started squawking, then he started freaking out and I started having trouble telling them apart. Then there I could
    via u/indigofoxgivesnofox
  • 05
    hear what might have been wings flapping, a brief silence, and suddenly the guy started hyperventilating and screaming he needed an ambulance because he was having a heart attack and that the bird flew off. I wasn't sure if he was being serious so I got him over to EMS as a precaution. Upon transfer and getting EMS on the line he got very quiet and said, "I think I'm okay, I'll call you back later," and hung up and would not answer on callback. I still wonder about Steven Seagull when I drive by
    via u/indigofoxgivesnofox
  • 06
    SHOL SPOR Brent_L I just certified as a call taker and got mandated for overtime (of course) on my first shift. Policy was if someone insisted they saw something we take it as face value and enter the call. Well this lady called me just after midnight and swore she saw a chupacabra on the west side of Orlando and Insisted in an officer doing an area check. Not too long after that a coworker was in on his night off and left the building. He called 2 mins later saying he saw a kangaroo hopping dow
    via u/Brent_L
  • 07
    Dethmonger Lady called in because she thought Willie Nelson was having a cardiac arrest in her trailer, and she needed an ambulance. I started giving her CPR instructions, and come to find out when paramedics got there, she was doing compressions on the couch cushions.
    via u/Dethmonger
  • 08
    placeintheways There are funny calls that come in all the time. I talked to a pizza delivery guy who couldn't reach his destination because a defiant chicken was standing in the middle of the road. I stayed with him on the phone as he pleaded with it to finally move along. Truly a chicken crossing the road moment.
    via u/placeintheways
  • 09
    Another time I took a call where a guy insisted he was in an argument with a man dressed as a giant Pepsi bottle. He said the man in the Pepsi suit had stolen his debit card and refused to give it back. Upon arrival the officers told me he was h as and arguing with a vending machine.
    via u/placeintheways
  • 10
    asportate Had a grown man calling in about "a monster trying to get into his son's room " ..... he's the right kind of frantic where I KNOW it's not a mental health crisis, but I still couldn't figure it out. Well, hes a middle Eastern male with a real thick accent and I was having a hard time understanding, so he gave the phone to his son. The monster had climbed a tree and was at his bedroom window. And it was as big as his dog. And it has hands like him but tiny ..... Wait, what? Right there
    via u/asportate
  • 11
    the kid to see if it had rings on his tail ... Yes ... They had just moved to America a month ago, and had never heard of raccoons. I couldn't mute myself fast enough and the father heard me laughing. I think that's what helped calm him down. I explained what a trash panda was and welcomed him to our wild jungle. Edit : holy . I broke my phone shortly after posting this and just saw it all. Thanks everyone
    via u/asportate
  • 12
    Razvee Caller called because they got their head stuck in a cat tree. With the cat stuck inside with it. Throughout the call I kept hearing like "ow, and "dude this isn't fun for me either" "dude, i know !" "dude!"... Caller ended up going to the hospital for a minor case of serious head lacerations. Ok I don't really know the severity but I'm sure they got some stitches.
    via u/Razvee
  • 13
    The other cool thing was that the caller was using an apple watch to call 911 because obviously they wouldn't be able to hold the phone to their ear. We get about a dozen misdials from apple watches a day, it was nice to finally see one being used for 'real'
    via u/Razvee
  • 14
    WatchTheBoom A little kid called 911 because he wanted the cops to come arrest his brother. You see, their mom said that the caller's brother was supposed to share the legos, but he wasn't sharing. The caller's brother said that he was playing with all of the legos, which wasn't possible. There were too many legos for one person to play with all of them at once, argued our caller. Therefore, his brother was a liar, a and a and we needed to come and arrest him.
    via u/WatchTheBoom
  • 15
    We had a high degree of confidence that this wasn't a coded request for help, so we asked to speak to an adult- confirmed that there was no distress and closed the case. Share your legos, kids. PS: If your kid ever calls 911, don't get mad at them. We want them to call 911 if they think they should. We would much rather have them call 911 for something silly than have them not call when they should because they're afraid they'll get in trouble.
    via u/WatchTheBoom
  • 16
    A guy called in because his dog had bitten a seagull and was now "acting strange." He demanded we find the bird, capture it, and test it for rabies. The whole circumstances were vague and he was unwilling to listen to reasonable advice(like that birds can't carry rabies). He had the audacity to file a complaint when informed we would not be doing what he wanted.
    via r/AskReddit
  • 17
    DharmaCub Not a dispatcher, but I did get dispatched by them. My favorite call was when my pager went off and I read aloud, "Woman bit by camel." We were working in Malibu.
    via u/DharmaCub
  • 18
    Camoern Not me but my wife who works both as a secretary for a fire department and is a volunteer firefighter/emt. A lady calls asking if she can donate a building for a training burn in. After asking questions she finds out it's not a building but an RV. More questions. It's not her RV, it was abandoned on her property. Just a few more questions. It's not exactly abandoned. It's her ex-husbands RV. And he's living in it and won't leave. She wants my wife's fire department to burn it down. Wife'
    via u/Camoern
  • 19
    thinking-of-a-place. I had a sweet sounding older lady call because people were setting off fireworks and she was concerned the wildlife would get scared and get hit by a vehicle. When I told her that the fire department was being sent to check it out she got furious, saying she doesn't want the fire department, that it was a waste of tax payers dollars, and that she would never call again.
    via u/thinking-of-a-place
  • 20
    xocheerio Actual 911 operator here. So far the silliest was a guy who called, all concerned about the number of birds flying around because there was an air show nearby and he was worried the planes would hit the birds
    via u/xocheerio
  • 21
    snarknsuch. I called (the non emergency police line) once for my across the way neighbor playing Christmas music at all hours for seven months straight. Turns out I live next to a Deaf building and the person had no idea that their music was 1) playing 24/7 and 2) so loud I could hear it in any room of my apartment across the driveway.
    via u/snarknsuch
  • 22
    The operator was absolutely cracking up because I was like look, it's July, I can't take hearing holy night again. The call back I got when they made contact with the person was absolutely hilarious- the cop couldn't stop chuckling every few words.
    via u/snarknsuch
  • 23
    Arizona_daisy_girl I am not a dispatcher. But when I was a child and like 6 I called the police from the home phone and asked if they would come play with me because I didn't have friends. So they showed up, because they have to respond, and I got a lecture from the police and my military parents about the seriousness of calling 911.
    via u/Arizona_daisy_girl
  • 24
    veddie_babes123 Someone legit called me today to say "some guy has a pet rock and he almost got hit by a car collecting his pet from the roadway" I have so many everyday.
    via u/veddie_babes123
  • 25
    Flaky_Tip Not an operator, but I heard a call once where a woman called 911 because there was a baby lizard in her computer.
    via u/Flaky_Tip
  • 26
    bheidreborn Former dispatcher here. My funniest call was a guy called in and said he wanted to report a pig running around. I had to ask a pig, as in curly tailed pig. He said yes sir he's running by taco bell now. I dispatch out animal control who gets on scene and asks for help. One of our officers assists and for the next 40 minutes or so I got to listen to two of the cities finest chase a young pig around businesses
    via u/bheidreborn
  • 27
    Once the pig was finally caught it was determined the pig came from a transport truck. The driver said he didn't want the pig back so the pig was given to the humane society. Never did hear what happened to the little fellow after that.
    via u/bheidreborn
  • 28
    + [deleted] I've had people call in for nightmares several times. Can't help you in your sleep, sorry.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 29
    Narrow-Dust-1523 My caller reported her car stolen. When I asked her when she saw her car for the last time she replied 1990. Yep, 30 years ago. She seemed unfazed on why I was surprised by her answer.
    via u/Narrow-Dust-1523
  • 30
    snakecatcher302 Friend of mine was a 911 dispatcher. The funniest call he ever had was a woman who claimed she was locked inside of her own vehicle. After explaining to her where the door lock switch was, she was able to free herself.
    via u/snakecatcher302
  • 31
    DWCourtasan2 Heard secondhand but escaped farm animals, especially horses. Its a small town!
    via u/DWCourtasan2
  • 32
    smashmcclicken An old guy called in and wanted to know the time... he thought someone had been sabotaging his clocks around the house
    via u/smashmcclicken
  • 33
    MrsRomeo He caught a raccoon and didn't know what to do next...then proceeded to FREAK OUT when told it is not a police matter. Called back on 911 all day.
    via u/MrsRomeo
  • 34
    NotWorried ABunch. My uncle was a dispatcher in Chicago. He used to laugh at people who called 911 in blizzards because someone took the spot the dug out on the public street. Parking spaces are SRS BIZNESS in Chicago winter.
    via u/NotWorried ABunch
  • 35
    8 CrazedMagician Not an operator, but my grandfather was a Sheriff's deputy that filled in occasionally for the 911 operator in our small Texas county. One day, my grandfather was at the phones when our address and phone number popped up on his screen. He answered expecting the worst. The call went like this: 911 (Grandpa): 911, What's your emergency? Child: crying He said the "S" word! 911: Who said the "S" word?
    via u/CrazedMagician
  • 36
    Child: /u/CrazedMagician! My brother! He told me to s- shut up! 911: Oh no! He's going to be in lots of trouble. Please put your grandmother on the phone, okay? tl;dr my brother called 911 once because I told him to shut up, he thought that was a real emergency requiring a police officer, and we're lucky my grandfather answered the call.
    via u/CrazedMagician
  • 37
    slothhprincess When I still got EMT call texts for my little hometown they would come in with like a 3 to 5 word description of the call. My favorite was "man stuck in mud"
    via u/slothhprincess

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