‘Take-backsies isn't a thing': Boss tries to cancel his employees Christmas vacation after admitting he mistakenly approved their leave

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  • 01
    "We already made plans"
  • 02
    r/antiwork. Posted by u/unclelister 15 hours ago "I was never supposed to approve your vacation" What do I do from here?
  • 03
    Months ago I put in a vacation request for the week of Christmas to visit my extended family in New York. It was approved by my boss on October 2nd and then my mom started making plans - booking hotels, letting our extended family know so they could plan etc.
  • 04
    Today my boss calls me stammering about how he wasn't supposed to approve my vacation request, he didn't know what he was thinking, etc. I told him we already made plans and he said he's going to discuss it with the higher ups further tomorrow. He mentioned maybe having HR in the call when we inevitably have to talk about it further so that's going to be something to look forward to.
  • 05
    ¡ for him and I know this is a pain in the the company because everyone else has had Christmas week vacations denied and then me getting an exception would no doubt be unfair and cause a stink, but that's the farthest my sympathy goes. We already made the plans. I haven't seen my grandpa
  • 06
    I didn't apologize or try to compromise I flat out told him that oh well we already made plans. But I'm really bad at confrontation. Help me prepare for what they might try to do? I actually really like this job (full time work from home) so I don't want to get on anyone's bad side even though I know it's not my problem I still don't want to give people a reason to
  • 07
    hate me. I also know my boss isn't my friend in this scenario but it did sound like he was being genuine when he said he was discussing this with the higher ups and that he'd talk about it with them tomorrow, like when I mentioned it was visiting grandpa in NYC he didn't sound dismissive or anything it sounded like he knew he was in the wrong but again I am not letting my guard down.
  • 08
    I've forwarded the vacation approval emails to my personal email, I don't know what else to do in preparation. Any advice? I'm so bad at confrontation I feel like I'm probably going to cry if we all get into a formal meeting thing Imao help
  • 09
    Toolatrecrew - 14 hr. ago I'd say I understand you need to discuss with higher ups regarding your plans to cover for me during my approved vacation. I don't know that I could add much to a call with HR on how you will cover for me. If you need me to allocate some time next week to train people to cover for me let me know. It's approved. You are going. This is not your problem.
  • 10
    Think about this way. If you told them back in October. I'm going to have this project done by December 15. Go ahead and tell the clients and put it into the revenue projections. Then the week before you say "Oh I never should have committed to that December 15 date. We will need to adjust everything"
  • 11
    What do you think the reaction would be? If the boss made a mistake he's going to have to own it. Either though coverage or I suppose by making you some outrageous offer like "We really effed up. We will pay for all your expenses and give you an extra week vacation in writing that cannot be cancelled by the company for any reason (in writing). That won't happen.
  • 12
    Tharatan 14 hr. ago I like that project analogy, and it could be useful in the conversation to help OP reframe the narrative and make management see how unreasonable such short notice is. In the end, if OP is even willing to entertain giving in, it should be with a written statement from HR that all monies spent on bookings will be reimbursed by X date.
  • 13
    drfury31 3 hr. ago I would give them a ridiculous sum of money due immediately to cover the costs of travel and distress. Then, as soon as the money hits your account, quit and go on vacation. No job is worth this hassle, and you earned yourself a nice bonus.
  • 14
    kawherp 14 hr. ago edited 12 hr. ago The less you talk, the better. Do not engage in discussion. Write down a few phrases as we've given here, and repeat them. "My leave was approved and I will be absent on these days." Repeat it like a broken record. There is nothing to discuss. Every question they ask gets the same answer. "My leave was approved in October and I will not be present on these days."
  • 15
    Do not argue. Do not apologize. Do not explain. Be the boring grey rock who repeats the same answer. "My leave was approved and I will not be present these days." Let them sputter. Let them rant. Breathe deeply and repeat the phrase. This is not your problem to solve and there is nothing to discuss.
  • 16
    If they try to bully you or imply you will not have a job.... repeat it again. "My leave was approved in writing and I will not be present these days." Deal with any fallout when you get back. Keep records of the approved leave in a safe place. For now, enjoy your trip! (edited to fix typos)
  • 17
    · 12 hr. ago woolandneedles THIS is THE best advice. OP, please DO NOT fall into the "let's discuss trap"... As this poster is saying, the best thing to do during the discussion is to repeat the same thing over and over. If it make you fell better you can change the way you say the same line each time. They are going to try to make this YOUR problem.
  • 18
    MagnumDPP 12 hr. ago This. Absolutely this. K 20 Reply Share fossilfuelssuck 11 hr. ago LilyFuckingBart. 8 hr. ago This is SUCH good advice. Do not fill any silence that descends on the conversation, either. I get roped into so much by needing to fill the silence
  • 19
    Virtual-Stranger 10 hr. ago The absence was already approved per company policy. Thats going to be really hard for the company to show cause if they try to contest unemployment. Afaik "take backsies" isn't a thing.
  • 20
    Runcible MountainWren 6 hr. ago This needs to be at the top. It's about integrity and following through on your word and if they aren't prepared to do something they have committed to do then that is a bad look! Also, did they seriously deny everyone else Christmas leave? Unless you are in an essential service like a hospital, why??
  • 21
    jargonexpert 14 hr. ago Do NOT give in. They're going to gaslight you and manipulate you into believing spending time with family is bad for business. Block it out and hold firm on your plans 185 Reply Share Spaceships_R_Cool - 13 hr. ago Exactly. Also it's for a business that your not getting shares of. If they are "loosing out" then that's the owners problem, you're not getting more pay for more work.
  • 22
    livingwithpurpose89 15 hr. ago Honestly my only thing is can suggest is to not give in. It's not your problem that he approved it, you already made plans and you will be going out of town so there is no way you can compromise. Stand firm and don't give in! It is not your job to make sure your boss pays attention.
  • 23
    livingwithpurpose89 15 hr. ago Honestly my only thing is can suggest is to not give in. It's not your problem that he approved it, you already made plans and you will be going out of town so there is no way you can compromise. Stand firm and don't give in! It is not your job to make sure your boss pays attention.
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