The Cringiest Parenting Texts of the Week (December 19, 2023)

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Dec 19, 2023 12:00 PM EST

I love witnessing the cognitive dissonance of people who think their families are crazy when they're extremely unremarkable. I know it's not a competition and that every family is crazy in their own unique way, but you know precisely the type of person I'm talking about. I'm mostly talking about your friend from your teenage years who would call her mom insane to her face when all you saw was a perfectly lovely lady. Kids who yelled at their parents in front of their friends never ceased to astound me. They had no shame at all, and it was fascinating to see someone behave in a way you could never get away with and watch them face absolutely no consequences for it. Fake "crazy mom" havers get real scared when someone with a really harrowing family history shows up. If you have accepted that your family is probably pretty standard and you want to feel better about who you're related to in comparison to others, these parenting texts might be just the thing for you. 

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  • 01
    140 smallfrythegoat 3d I'm so over this SMS ...
    via u/smallfrythegoat
  • 02
    11:47 w Dad 11:39 PM Seeing your beautiful baby today made a tad bit sad in one sense. Just the fact that you don't want Him to have the "free" benefits and grace of baptism. For us Catholics (you too even if now you don't practice your faith) it is like saying; "I'm going to have him run the risk of not being declared a child of God and run the risk of losing eternal life. To me anyway it is almost as bad as a mother saying to its unborn baby; "I don't believe you're alive so I might as well ki
    via u/smallfrythegoat
  • 03
    11:48 Dad Teve unpon baby, Taol you're alive so I might as well kill you off with an abortion". Aren't you glad that Mary could never even have that thought (because she was the immaculate conception) and therefore could never ever think of aborting Jesus after Joseph thought of rejecting her because she was already pregnant? I mean she was also running the risk of being stoned to death for being pregnant without having a husband. 11:44 PM Have you ever heard that we re- ally are "spirits having
    via u/smallfrythegoat
  • 04
    laceabase 5d Our son struggles with reading. His dad/my ex hasn't read with him since he was a baby and is hardly around. We just had an assessment results meeting for dyslexia where our son fits diagnostic criteria. This is his response to that meeting. SMS ...
    via u/laceabase
  • 05
    Abracadabra Did you know the difference between 'Abracadabra' and 'Avada Kedavra' is: Abracadabra means "I will Create when I speak" and Avada Kedavra means "I will destroy as I speak" The words come from ancient Aramaic and was said to be used by witches in spell work. Abracadabra is a powerful spell it looks like this below. You would write this downwards to rid yourself of evil, and write upwards for good luck. people of the ancient world wore it as an amulet. A-B-R-A-C-A-D-A-B-R-A A-B-R-A-C-
    via u/laceabase
  • 06
    call me whenever I'm hopping on another meeting right now. My general feeling is that he really struggles with reading. Why not get him help to make it easier for him? I will not agree to any crazy special education service but a group that meets once a week for "reading club" to help teach reading skills... 100% on board simple: there is only 1 person who teaches Vic to read - Vic it is a discipline, he hasn't put the effort in and now there's a sales pitch that says it's (an endeavor for other
    via u/laceabase
  • 07
    it is a discipline, he hasn't put the effort in and now there's a sales pitch that says it's (an endeavor for others) 30m every night, 6 months also, no test may contain a paradox because you can rationalize any outcome 'he gets the words but fails the paradox' isn't a word test it's 2 logic tests at the same time and you can apply 11, 00, (0)0, or (0)1 logic to the test that woman is a well meaning amateur looking for work nevermind i do not like rando adults around my kids this one will teach
    via u/laceabase
  • 08
    WhispersAbout Nothing 6d My mother insulted my pregnant wife to me today while I was cutting her hair and chaos ensued SMS ...
    via u/WhispersAboutNothing
  • 09
    ◄ Appointments 248 M Momma> Today 1:03 PM I would be willing to try going to a therapist together with you to see if we can work through this. I love you and don't like conflict but our relationship is in the worst shape it has ever been and I don't see it fixing itself naturally Today 7:37 PM First of all you were disrespectful to me in the extreme today. That's not ok by me. There is nothing I could have done to deserve that trauma. Secondly, you completely messed A iMessage Delivered 0
    via u/WhispersAboutNothing
  • 10
    248 O M First of all you were disrespectful to me in the extreme today. That's not ok by me. There is nothing I could have done to deserve that trauma. Secondly, you completely messed up my hair. I have to go somewhere tomorrow and get it fixed. My hair is extremely important to me and I'm so uncomfortable with the state that its in. Finally, I'm done talking to you. You can't behave like that to me and threaten me like you did and think I trust you enough to talk to you. Happy holidays to you,
    via u/WhispersAboutNothing
  • 11
    My wife and I have been having issues with my mother lying and overstepping boundaries. There's a lot to the story but ultimately she started trying to talk bad about my pregnant wife today behind her back. I finally let her know how I feel about her lying all the time and always making herself the victim. She really didn't like that. Also I may have low key I her hair up because it's hard to cut hair while fighting with your client who is also your mom.
    via u/WhispersAboutNothing
  • 12
    awhellitjodibean 6d Mother sends me this while I'm at my fiancee's house SMS : ...
    via u/awhellitjodibean
  • 13
    10:32 PM Manager never got back to me 10:27 PM ✓ There's a girl in the Starbucks right here 10:27 PM So friendly 10:27 PM Did I you see the apartment? We found out the landlord is really bad so we're looking for another apartment or a camper van Just a sweet heart 10:28 PM There's a girl in the Starbucks right here I already applied there and they denied it 10:27 PM Just a sweet heart If it's not Message 10:27 PM ✓ 10:27 PM ✔ I don't want it 10:29 PM ļ
    via u/awhellitjodibean
  • 14
    efferusminerva 6d Was I wrong for confronting my fiancés mother? SMS ...
    via u/efferusminerva
  • 15
    10:43 Mon, Sep 25 Hey, I'd really appreciate if you stopped speculating that I cheat when I'm sleeping or working. Its a disturbing rumor to be spreading between and I. I love and care for both them and your family, and have been working constantly in order to provide for our future and save up. Meddling in our private relationship is uncomfortable and frankly quite disrespectful. Please think about how your words affect others. 12:10 PM / I think you forgot I am the mom and not your friend and
    via u/efferusminerva
  • 16
    so Loverboy_Bipolar 7d My mom and dad everyone. But it progressively gets worse. (They Are much worse in person) SMS
    via u/Loverboy_Bipolar
  • 17
    da The whole house lex. Their room Isn't even that hard You coming back to school? A A Yeah except you told me AFTER the fact Of me already cleaning the house So the rest of the house is clean the way I like it? Yh. Because I'm the only one that cleaned today. Vacuum and swept top? iMessage Cash Sure Read 4:04 PM
    via u/Loverboy_Bipolar
  • 18
    Why Have u eaten Today 2:07 PM A I feel really dizzy Today 3:44 PM Today 6:14 PM Lex I was busy. I don't know what to tell u. U are an adult and it is ur job I feel dizzy still Cash iMessage Mom Cool Read 6:54 PM 0
    via u/Loverboy_Bipolar
  • 19
    I was trying to tell you to see if you'd take me to the hospital if it got worse I think we should try other things first A A Like what mom? I'm never this dizzy for this long And my eyes are taking longer to focus on things And I have barely understood anything we've talked about it class. It all sounds so jumbled together Ask ur dad then lex iMessage Cash Read 7:12 PM SH +
    via u/Loverboy_Bipolar
  • 20
    D Immigrant You're feeling dizzy or sleepy? A A Why am I just hearing Jaxon dropped a bench on your head? How and when? A Cash Both. At the same time I've been extremely dizzy and sleepy since jaxon dropped the bench on my head ☐ I was perfectly fine until then He kicked it. A couple hours ago Cash The one in front of my bed iMessage
    via u/Loverboy_Bipolar
  • 21
    م D Immigrant Jaxon your lil brother? It's 7pm. You have been at work more than 6 hours. A A Can you finish work and we will come get you if you can't drive? Yes. Before I went to work Or do you want to leave work early tell them you feel sick? I've been feeling this way the entire time ☐ They know what's going on already but I have a test today that I want to take iMessage Cash
    via u/Loverboy_Bipolar
  • 22
    Save me a thigh pls Immigrant They said they will eat when they get back All of you children, please make sure you clean up yourselves, and look decent for service tonight. Also get the children ready. We leave at 5:30 Thought I should let you all know I'm still alive since none of you decided to check on me until you needed something. A Cash 个
    via u/Loverboy_Bipolar
  • 23
    O the way up I've been told u add biome Pls clean the fridge out spotless. We have groceries coming at 1 Khaleesi Will I get in trouble with father dearest. Your mouth is about to write a check that your can't cash. Watch it A A Will I get in trouble? That's all I want to know And I apologize that you believe I'm being rude. / gen iMessage Cash
    via u/Loverboy_Bipolar
  • 24
    Yes A Can I talk to you about pastor without you telling dad? I'm uncomfortable with the way he interacts with me. He grabs the back of my neck, grips my shoulders weirdly, will force me into hugs and then today he also grabbed my nose. But if I tell anyone I'm uncomfortable with it I'm pretty sure they'll get upset. (Aka dad and pastor) And he doesn't really do it to any of the other girls. He'll bug them but doesn't iMessage Cash
    via u/Loverboy_Bipolar
  • 25
    He'll hug them but doesn't interact with them as much He takes the time to interact with me specifically. Every time I'm in church Lex all I can say is u have the right to ask not to be touched by anyone no matter who it is And if he keeps doing it? I'm just forced to go to a church where he is Sun, Nov 5 at 1:31 PM Unload the dishwasher A A iMessage Mom? Cash
    via u/Loverboy_Bipolar
  • 26
    Pic 1: I had cleaned the whole house by myself and then when I went to confirm that I could go out, she added more onto the list. Pic 2-5: my little brother (3 yrs) dropped a wooden bench on my head and I was showing clear signs of a concussion. (This is Not new since my dad often hits my head when he gets physical). Both my parents are nurses and they told me to sleep it off... it didn't get better until a week later. Pic 6: I started taking my vyvanse again and hadn't eaten in over a week. I h
    via u/Loverboy_Bipolar
  • 27
    r/insaneparents u/CosmiclyAcidic. 6d Hey remember when I said my mom stole my PS3 SMS
    via u/CosmiclyAcidic
  • 28
    instagram.com/dir + Jackson 12:07 PM Who the f*** do you think you are talking to my friend that way all she is done is gone out of her way to be nice for you to give you things because you're too stupid to get a f****** job. Now you got me to do with you little watch yourself I know where you f****** live now I've got your address Unblock 7 That's illegal, this isn't my address. If any of you come here! you will be trespassing on private property and you will be either arrested or escorted off
    via u/CosmiclyAcidic
  • 29
    instagram.com/dir + Jackson f****** live now I've got your address Unblock 7 That's illegal, this isn't my address. If any of you come here! you will be trespassing on private property and you will be either arrested or escorted off the property. Leave. Me. Alone. I don't care. Y'all are telling me to grow up and , your telling a 22 yr old with AuDHD & EDS that their too stupid to work. Homie I physically can't, I am a fall risk and I can't do math! I wouldn't be helpful regardless. On top of th
    via u/CosmiclyAcidic
  • 30
    So if you remember me, a few weeks to a month ago. I posted "my mom stole my PS3" I ended up cutting her off and THIS HAPPENED! She and her husband messaged me first. Her husband (my step dad) said that me and his kid can "go to "My mom decided to threaten to assault me, say transphobic remarks such as "go back to being a woman and grow the up" THEN I get this message on both my Snap and Instagram. Her friend I guess got into it and it seems like she gave them THE ADRESS I LIVE AT. THIS IS NOT M
    via u/CosmiclyAcidic

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dads things kids say kids crazy things parents say cringe text texts moms parenting texting parent cringeworthy Parenting Fail parents Parenting FAILS
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