'My boyfriend said I'm a 4/10': Inconsiderate Boyfriend Informs Girlfriend She’s Not His Type, Girlfriend Turns to Reddit and Gets Overwhelmingly Wholesome Response

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Dec 21, 2023 5:00 PM EST

There are many red flags one can think of when it comes to relationships. First, every person has their own personal red flags, ones that go along the lines of - "Never watched Friends" or "A picky eater", which some people relate to and some understandably don't. Then there are universal red flags, signs that everyone can agree are about a person who you should generally steer clear from.

Being told by your boyfriend of 4 months that you are 'not as pretty as the ex', and generally 'a 4/10' is a huge red flag, I am talking ten red flags, a red tablecloth. Nobody should be with a person who doesn't appreciate who you are and how you look. And that is exactly what hundreds of supportive redditors told this girl who asked for advice about what to do with her boyfriend. "What would you do if your best friend came to you with that problem? Be your own best friend and dump him". Love this and love seeing a supportive community. 

Scroll down for the full story and the encouraging comments. And once you are done, click here for some wholesome couples memes for relationship lessons we could all learn before 2023 is over.

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  • 01
    My boyfriend said I'm a 4/10, am I wrong for crying?
    via u/strawberryblasthoney
  • 02
    Since dating my boyfriend, he kept making side comments about my appearance here and there. Then he compliments his ex every now and then. He says she is pretty or ended up talking about how he fell for her a. One day I asked him to
    via u/strawberryblasthoney
  • 03
    stop because it was making me self conscious. He never complimented me until I made a comment about it. It's been about four months and I told him I don't have a good feeling
    via u/strawberryblasthoney
  • 04
    about him and his ex and that he makes it seem like he likes her more than me. He finally told me that she is more attractive than me and that I am a 4/10 for him. I even asked how he
    via u/strawberryblasthoney
  • 05
    thought about me, compared to his friend's girlfriends, and he says they are more attractive than me. He tells me that his ex beauty means nothing to him.
    via u/strawberryblasthoney
  • 06
    Then he turns around and still tries to call me beautiful after telling me I was below average in looks. I am ok without being everyone's cup of tea, but my own boyfriend? Now I'm always looking in the mirror
    via u/strawberryblasthoney
  • 07
    questioning myself. Everytime we go out I think about how he thinks all the girls are prettier than me. I don't think I'm ugly and I am also not super attractive, but I thought I'd atleast get a 5 from my own boyfriend.
    via u/strawberryblasthoney
  • 08
    What do I do? Do I leave because now I'm too insecure to be with him? Am I wrong? Would you date someone who thinks you are below average look wise?
    via u/strawberryblasthoney
  • 09
    Chrizilla_ 4 mo. ago He's negging you so that you struggle to leave him. "You're so ugly you should be grateful I'm so good to you". Pro-tip: never date a hater.
    via u/Chrizilla_
  • 10
    Sonic Dooscar · 4 mo. ago My ex called me a 7/10 when I didn't ask and it I me up for awhile. Luckily my husband thinks I'm a 10/10 and doesn't have to say it he well shows it good. I should have left the ex way longer ago than I did.
    via u/SonicDooscar
  • 11
    FreeClue740 - 4 mo. ago If he compliments his ex but calls you a 4/10. Drop him have more respect for yourself and know about that as a red flag as well. You deserve better than that treatment
    via u/FreeClue740
  • 12
    strawberryblasthoney OP 4 mo. ago · Yea, that's what I was thinking. I just don't understand why he would start dating me if he honestly felt that way.
    via u/strawberryblasthoney
  • 13
    darvis03 4 mo. ago this. the fact u made a reddit post shows you'd be willing to most likely put lots of effort into a relationship. this dude does NOT deserve you. & the funny thing is he
    via u/darvis03
  • 14
    will realize when u leave. (but that is not smth u need to challenge his brain with) just leave him while it's early on
    via u/darvis03
  • 15
    wow Wow ow bawjaws2000 · 4 mo. ago It sounds like he's negging you - and intentionally bringing down your self esteem so that you think he's too good for you. He's not. Get that guy to asap.
    via u/bawjaws2000
  • 16
    Any decent bf is going to try their best to make you feel good about yourself. You don't need people in your life who are bringing you down.
    via u/bawjaws2000
  • 17
    Same-Pack-4530 · 4 mo. ago When you dump him tell him he really should only date 2s because if you're a 4 and his ex was whatever he clearly is out of his league
    via u/Same-Pack-4530
  • 18
    sickiesusan 4 mo. ago If your best friend came to you with this problem. What would you say to them? I really doubt your would advise her to do anything else but dump him. Be your own best friend and get rid.
    via u/sickiesusan
  • 19
    The guy is a loser, you sound lovely and deserve someone better than him. Don't get involved with anyone who brings you down like this, let him live with his own insecurities and not pass them into you. Always remember that!
    via u/sickiesusan
  • 20
    Mercenary-Adjacent 4 mo. ago Psychos like to playing games to feel powerful. They get off on tearing you down. Dump his i. It WILL NOT get better. Believe me, I know.
    via u/Mercenary-Adjacent
  • 21
    There's a great book called "Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and ae men" by Lundy Bancroft. Reddit won't let me post the link.
    via u/Mercenary-Adjacent
  • 22
    I spent years of my life with a guy who sounds a LOT like your BF. My ex made me feel crazy. He'd try to convince me I was wrong or people were silently looking down on me or judging me etc. He pressured me to dress a certain way. He'd started off as a great
    via u/Mercenary-Adjacent
  • 23
    seeming bf but how do you boil a frog? You turn up the heat slowly. No woman says 'oh I want to date that ' - no the j s start off by tearing the waters, seeing what things they can do or say and get away with.
    via u/Mercenary-Adjacent
  • 24
    Bringing up another women is called triangulation. He's trying to hold power over you and make you work to please him by making you feel insecure. GOOD men don't try to make their partners feel bad. Dump his a. It's only going to get worse.
    via u/Mercenary-Adjacent
  • 25
    Future-Panda-8355 4 mo. ago This is not a boyfriend. Move on and find somebody that treats you with love and respect. You deserve to be treated way better than that.
    via u/Future-Panda-8355
  • 26
    canichangeitlateror . 4 mo. ago I'm raging reading you wrote you wished you were at least a 5 to your boyfriend. Not being everyone's cup of tea is legit and exactly the point here: you should be your SO's cup of tea.
    via u/canichangeitlateror
  • 27
    petrichorprincess45 · 4 mo. ago break up with him and find a boyfriend who doesn't make negative comments on your appearance and will gladly listen to kpop with you! if you stay, it'll only make unpleasant thoughts linger in your mind. you don't need that.
    via u/petrichorprincess45
  • 28
    Topsy6 4 mo. ago Look at this "relationship" as a learning experience. You now know there are people in the world who think you're better than nothing but not worth respecting. When you leave this insecure guy, he'll try to get back with you
    via u/Topsy6
  • 29
    because he feels he's too weak to be on his own. Resist the temptation to accept the love-bombing. He's already told you who he is.
    via u/Topsy6

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boyfriend relationship advice emotional askreddit relationships girlfriend advice couples love red flag Reddit toxic relationship emotional-support dating
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