'She accused me of ruining her wedding': Graphic designer refuses to pay for wedding dress after sister insults her career

Advertisement
  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole u/Historical_Essay8282 14h ● AITA for refusing to pay for my sister's wedding dress when she insulted my career?
  • 02
    I (28F) am a self-taught graphic designer and have worked hard to build my career. My sister (25F), on the other hand, has always been critical of my job, calling it a 'hobby' and not a 'real job! Our parents passed away a few years ago, and I've been more of a parental figure to her since then. We've had our ups and downs, but I've always tried to support her.
  • 03
    Recently, she got engaged and was over the moon about planning her wedding. She found her dream dress, but it was way out of her budget. Knowing I've saved a bit, she asked if I could pay for it as her wedding gift. I agreed because I wanted her to be happy. However, a few days ago, we had a family gathering where she introduced her fiancé to our extended family. During the dinner, she made a snide remark about my career, implying that I was still 'playing with my computer' while others had real
  • 04
    I was hurt and confronted her later. Things escalated, and I told her that if she didn't respect my career, she shouldn't expect me to fund her wedding dress with the money I earned from it. She accused me of ruining her wedding and being petty. I'm torn. I want to support her, but I also feel disrespected. AITA?
  • 05
    ΝΤΑ cph311 14h Partassipant [1] • It would be a lovely gesture to pay for her dress, but it's not your responsibility. It would be the type of generous gesture reserved for people who treat you with respect. I would probably ask your sister something along the lines of, "Do you really want your wedding dress paid for with the money form my illegitimate career? It would be a permanent emotional stain on your dress, and I wouldn't want you to regret that down the line." She's not cool with what yo
  • 06
    DragonCelica . 11h Aficionado [11] NTA I'm shaking my head at how ignorant the sister is. If OP has managed to carve out a decent living, she's not just playing around with Photoshop. People aren't paying for her technical skills alone either; they're paying for her artistic eye. I can't help but wonder if OP's sister is jealous of her artistic talent? I was an artist before an accident, and so many people would comment how they wish they were creative. People can get drawn in just seeing you sk
  • 07
    SLJ7 • 14h Partassipant [2] LOL no, why are you even torn on this? Imagine for a moment that you're entitled enough to ask someone to fund an expensive frivolity you can't afford in one breath, and then insult the means by which they would fund it in the next? No, a wedding dress isn't frivolous, but an unaffordable one is. What kind of message would you be sending if you paid for something after she treated you like that? Have some self-respect and tell her if she wants a dress, she can go play
  • 08
    macross1984 • 14h Enthusiast [8] ΝΤΑ Do not insult the person who will help you financially. Your sister did so she will have to pay the price. She's not happy? Too bad, so sad. If this had happened to me I will not hesitate to take action and reduce contact with her later.
  • 09
    Sirius_z 14h NTA. So she wants you to be her ATM and also wants to disrespect you, not just in private but in front of family and her in-laws? Whatever grievance she has with you or your choice of career she first needs to learn to address it just with you, behind closed doors. I'm sorry to say this but your sister is entitled and you don't owe her anything. She doesn't like your job but she wants to spend your money from that job. Yes, paying for her wedding dress would be an extraordinary gene
  • 10
    Miss056 13h .... and, please don't reward her for her disrespectful bad behavior towards you.
  • 11
    CuriousTsukihime • 14h Pooperintendant [69] NTA - everybody wanna be gangsta until it's the consequences of their actions. Tbh you're kinder than me letting it get this far and offering to pay for her dress to begin with. I can tell you love her. She was all too happy to disrespect you in private and in public and I suspect shes jealous. Give her nothing until her apology is as loud as her disrespect.
  • 12
    princessawesomepants • 13h NTA. As a graphic designer, I think you should design her invitations. In Microsoft Word. Using only Comic Sans and terrible clipart. It's totally fine cause graphic design isn't a real job, right?
  • 13
    Garamon7 14h Certified Proctologist [24] ● ΝΤΑ She's trying to belittle you so she can feel like a better, more successful sister. She knows your job is "real" and you make good money - if not, how can you pay for a dress she can't buy? And yet she insults you... I think she's jealous because you have a job that you really like. OP, you don't owe her anything.
  • 14
    Anxious-Routine-5526 14h ● NTA. She wants to benefit from the very thing she disparages you about? No. She has a "real career," so she should have no problem paying for her own wedding dress from the money she makes. You've ruined nothing. Your sister's rudness, impertinent behavior, and sense of entitlement as well as utter disrespect have.
  • 15
    Jolly-Pipe7579. 14h It's always okay not to tolerate disrespect. That said, she openly mocks you; and imo, doesn't deserve anything. She can go to Amazon, or David's bridal $99 dress sale:

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article