'HR shared what I wrote': Employee's exit interview feedback is paraded around the office by their toxic former boss

One should never give an exit interview, particularly if their employer has demonstrated a complete inability to listen to advice or honest feedback—and especially if they've shown a willingness to retaliate against someone giving that feedback. Even if you complete an exit interview and provide feedback with the best of intentions, you may just be burning a bridge you had no intention of burning once they've had some time to think about it.

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  • Really, if anyone ever asks you for honest feedback at the end of a relationship you'd do best to do so in a careful and measured way. Even if they seemingly take it well at first it's more than likely that a little rumenation on your words will cause them to fester and rot into hatred and resentment. 

    This employee provided honest feedback to their employee during an exit interview, only to find that the HR manager they had given the interview to had printed and handed their feedback to their toxic boss who, in turn, took to parading it around the office in outrage, practically daring the remaining employees to speak up on it—proclaiming their silent complicity as shaky proof that the exiting employee was wrong. Just standard behavior of a toxic manager. 

  • 01
    Posted by u/_heart Potatoes 22 hours ago Left my job did an exit interview and wrote things down for HR. HE shared it with my ex boss and now ex boss is showing coworkers. First job I left. I left due to my manager, she's a problem and is the reason why coworkers before me left. Anyways, I did my exit interview and expressed some things that I saw wrong with how this manager treated staff. They had me write it down. I signed my name.
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  • 02
    A friend who still works there has said that HR has shared what I wrote with my former boss and the former boss is now showing new employees my actual letter and asking them "can you believe this?!" "Am I like this?" And that she is bad mouthing me to these new employees as well. Another former coworker works at the local hospital where my former boss also works at times and she made a comment to my former coworker saying "is [my name] here because ooohhh do I want to talk to her!"
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  • 03
    This was the first job I left and did an exit interview and we live in. Somewhat small town and I'm not sure what to do about this situation. Do I confront this former boss? Or do I just stick it out and see if it passes?
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  • 04
    boojieboy My first thought: Your old boss is doing this as a way to intimidate current workers, in an attempt to get them to self-censor in their exit interviews, should they ever decide to leave. Its also a flex, in that your old boss is flexing on these newbies as a way to intimidate them into compliance and silence. 2.3k Reply Share ... Desperate_Set_7708 A manager we removed for having a toxic environment had the gall to say, "I got everyone together and asked them if they had problems with
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  • 05
    HumbleBaker12 You left your old job behind. Whatever issues your old boss has with you should be left behind, too. If you somehow run into your old boss the simple explanation is, "I wrote from my experiences with you, now no further questions." 333 Reply Share
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  • 06
    TEXESTE famishius On the advice of consul, I am not going to participate in an exit interview. Never seen anything good come out of one. Either they know all ready or they have blinders on. ENCE IS 586 Reply Share 129 ●●● Varnigma Yep. Anytime I've been asked to do one my response is "you didn't listen to me while I was here. How will this be any different?" Reply Share
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  • 07
    Tea_Time_Traveler I did my first exit interview this way and it haunted me on the next job for a bit, as I shared where I was going. Got told by my new boss later down the line that he was surprised that I wasn't like he was told by the old job... Don't tell the old job where you're moving to and never doing the exit interview! 117 Reply Share
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  • 08
    Higher EdFuturist I mean, I'd contact HR and tell them to tell her to knock it off. That kind of behavior can escalate into a lawsuit which is kinda HRs job to prevent 93 Reply Share ... Wasvalya That was my first thought too. The HR person has not acted ethically in this situation. Mind you, I would get very suspicious if anyone ever asked me to sign anything that sounded like a formal complaint. 23 Personally, I'd be prepared to share my thoughts on my former job in confidence with HR, but I w
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  • 09
    crash1969120 hr. ago You could have an attorney send him a nice letter to cease and desist or there will be a defamation lawsuit filed. That will shut him up. 70+ Reply Share
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  • 10
    Ninjas4cool Any exit interview I've ever done I always lie..if u want an honest opinion then hire me as a consultant 107 Robthebold Reply Share Love it! I have 3 unique observations with a seven step restitution plan that would increase your bottom line on day 1. You can hire me for this project at... ↑ 20 ↓ Reply Share ...
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  • 11
    The-truth-hurts1 · Never do an exit interview.. no benefit to you 40 Reply Share jimmythebartender_ Standard reply or "HR isn't your friend" applies here 7 Reply Share ...
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