Off duty retail worker plays along when Karen mistakes him for an employee: 'Stop harassing other shoppers'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Jan 13, 2024 9:00 AM EST

Being a retail veteran means that you're nearly immune to the tactics of wily entitled customers, hardened to the core with the scar tissue of encounters with other customers—that or just completely dead inside—but it's all the same thing, really. Even if you leave the retail industry far behind, you remember the way people can act toward retail staff long afterward and how it's almost like people become another person when they begin talking to someone they deem to be a "servant" and beneath them.

This retail veteran had left his career in retail far behind him by the time he encountered this wild Karen. The two had a confrontation after she mistook him for an employee of the store that they were both shopping in. He, easygoing and keen for a joke, decided to play along and began to spin the Karen up, feeding in to her entitled delusion.

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  • 01
    Posted by u/ComedianXMI Karen vs Retail Veteran XXXXL Someone in my friend group keyed me in on this lovely sub after they had a good laugh at some of my stories. Over the years I've grown to loathe people who treat retail employees like garbage, and I go out of my way to make a fool of them. So I'll share one story now! I worked for years in retail before switching careers. I went from dealing with people who asked for items based entirely on what the people in said item's commerical were weari
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 02
    For a while I worked as a trainer for a very popular cellphone company. I would regularly visit Cellular carriers and do events for customers and train employees on relevant new features and items. So I was almost always dressed very well. The most dressed down I ever got was a polo, dress pants and dress shoes because I wanted to give a good and professional impression. However my style of dress came with the greatest Karen-bait known to man: A Silver Nametag.
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  • 03
    Beyond the hundreds of times I was mistaken for an employee while at the stores, this story takes place when I went grocery shopping after work one evening. That should be enough background, so on with the actual story! I had finished up later than usual and was browsing the groceries for the next couple days at a semi- supermarket who's logo is a bullseye. I had a cart with several frozen items my wife loves, some snacks for my son, some dog food for my dog and various other small things to car
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  • 04
    I was browsing some spices, debating on if I had enough of a few kinds to make chilli, when I hear a faint noise behind me. I squeeze in a bit closer, trying to be sure I'm not blocking the aisle. No sense in being , right? A second or two go by and my spider-sense begins to tingle. And then, dear reader, I hear the dreaded sound that in the retail wilds is both terrifying and amusing (depending on how far away you're standing). "Ex-CUSE me?!" Ah. Yes. The mating call of the wild Karen.
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 05
    I turn around to see a specimen of at least forty years trying desperately to be mistaken for her own daughter in, what I can only assume, was a pair of yoga pants, furry boots, a shirt that was strategically unbuttoned and a huge pair of sunglasses acting as a solar panel for her 'Let me speak to your manager' haircut. My desperate plea for clemency in the form of her own ability to notice a mistake came immediately as I pushed my cart further away and swept my arm where I was standing, "Sorry.
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  • 06
    But, alas, this story would not have made it here if that was all she needed. No, Karen did not want to graze the spice rack. She had used her cosmic powers on me without my realizing, you see. Because now I was no longer shopping for dinner. I had been granted employment. And Karen was not pleased at my performance so far, "No. I need you to help me find (some food item I dont want to malign by naming)." I am a smartass by nature (you can tell) and my wife often jokes that I'm paid well to tell
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 07
    I decide to assume she's perhaps dazzled in bright lights without her solar panel glasses guarding her beedy eyes, so I smile and politely say, "I'm sorry. I don't work here." Her eyes narrow, now looking like the shining black of a shark, and the games have now begun, "You're wearing a uniform, don't give me that (EXPLETIVE DELETED)! You can put up that garbage when you're done doing your job!" My eyebrow rises and in my head I hear the ringside bell. Ok, Karen. Game on.
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 08
    So in my best I-really-dont-hope-you're-run-over-by- a-stray-water-buffalo voice and smile I say, "What was it you needed help finding, ma'am?" I see the flinch. I said ma'am and she didn't like it. Dont show weakness now, we've only started. But in the same condescending tone she wails, "I need (item). Now show me to it." I nod and pushed my buggy along as I head to the rear of the store. She doesn't look pleased that I'm bringing the buggy, but if she says anything she does so under her breath
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 09
    I walk several aisles. After a dozen she starts to huff and puff and I can hear the faintest grumbling about why it was "so hidden away" and "why did she have to walk so far" ect. Not directed at me, but I'm not deaf so I can hear her childish tantrums just fine. Thank God she cant see the evil smile on my face. Passing the last row of groceries, I hang a left. Passing seasonal, candies, luggage, travel ect. She's behind me in such a blurry huff of muttering anger, I dont know if shes questionin
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  • 10
    As we reach the book section I wheel the cart right over and start down an aisle. Now the Karen is really angry, "Where the (deleted) are you going?! I'm looking for (item)! If you're too stupid to find it, then maybe I should be talking to your manager!" This is drawing a crowd from the nearby electronics section. My plan is working out better than I'd hoped. I stop in front of the small children's section and grab a thin copy of what's basically toddler's first spelling book. A few letters pla
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 11
    Walking back to the red-faced Karen, I offer the book. I dont say anything, I just extend my arm, showing her the cover. Like most people would she takes the offered book, looks at it, looks at me and basically growls, "What the (deleted) is this?! Are you (deleted) stupid?! Where is your manager? You're absolutely awful!" Her wailing has attracted at least two employees who seem to recognize the whiny wails of the retail- native Karen. One is on a small radio, calling who I assume is the manage
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 12
    With a smile I gesture to the book in her hands and say in my absolute best customer service voice, "Actually ma'am, I thought since you cant tell the (deleted) difference between a customer and an employee, you must not be able to read. So I figure this book can help." Stunned. Silence. The poor hamster that was responsible for the complex operation of powering the Karen was working overtime. So when the employee finally makes it to us they're unaware of what I said, only that I was smiling in
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 13
    Karen. Was. LIVID. She proceeded to throw the book at me (literally and figuratively) and start screaming. I dodged the book as her howls of rage wound up, "How DARE you talk to me that way?! I want this man's manager right now! He needs to be fired!" Oh no. She still didn't get the point. Maybe I should have started with an easier book? Dr Seuss? Maybe something on tape? She hasn't slowed down, is cussing like a rabid honey badger high on PCP, and somewhere in that string of expletives were wor
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 14
    I step back, away from any flailing pieces, and just wait politely. Taking a second to text my wife that I was held up, and to expect a good story when I got home. Her response, because she knows me, "What did you do now?" I love that woman. When the manager arrives (they must have been fresh out of priests) the woman is pulled to the side and he speaks to her, trying to calm her down. The employee standing near me looks at me and, with a bewildered look, asks "What happened?" Not wanting to spo
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 15
    The employee chirps with laughter he quickly chokes off. I don't think he expected me to know the dorsal plumage of the Wild Karen. But Karen has heard the sound and went from slowly lowering to a shrill string of complaining, back to seething anger. Once again she all but frothed at the mouth. After another few minutes the manager gets her to step aside and comes over to talk to me. He begins asking all sorts of questions she obviously decided to embellish. "Why did you call her (deleted I actu
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 16
    So, in a pleasant voice I explained how I was shopping and she demanded I show her where an item was and refused to accept I didn't work here. This caused the manager to frown as he looked at me. He saw how I was dressed and I think some light in his eyes actually died. Probably realizing he had to actually think worse of humanity than just five minutes ago and it took another piece of his soul with it. I've been there.
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 17
    So I smile and nod as I see him reason out that I was basically kidnapped to find something for this woman and all the tumblers in his mind seemed to fall into place. He must have seen this type of thing often enough to know what happened, or close enough. But I nod and say, "Since she can't read, and might be color blind, I got her a book on the alphabet instead. I figure if she knew how to read it would fix all her problems. She threw the book at me, cussed like a sailor, and wants you to fire
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 18
    The manager, a seasoned veteran of the retail wars it seems, manages to make his initial chuckle sound like a disapproving grumble at the retreating employee. But the way his face scrunched up, I know full well he found it at least reasonably funny. Karen is mad that the employee is laughing, having at least the sense to know she's the of the joke. Even if she didn't hear said joke. So score one for her situational awareness. So she starts over to us while the manager's poor soul begins to withe
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 19
    Turning with an admirably straight face, the manager holds up a hand and silences her through his weird Karen-Charming powers, "Ma'am-" again her eye twitches, "I'm going to have to ask that you stop harassing other shoppers and keep the volume down." A vein in her forehead begins to leap from the skin and do a little dance as she winds herself up for another tirade, "He was the one harassing me!" She almost reaches around him. Jabbing her 2.99 press ons at me like the predatory talons she wishe
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 20
    The manager, not happy with basically having her almost trying to wrap herself around him to get to me, holds up his hands and in a very firm voice says, "Ma'am, you need to calm down. If you can't, then I'll have to ask you to leave." The blubbering, incoherent Karenisms that follow dont translate well to text. And if I had thought I could get away with it, I would have recorded it with my phone. As it was, she protested, swore, threatened and actually raked her arm down a shelf in a tantrum, k
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 21
    And that's when I knew what was coming. She wasn't going to be asked to leave. Oh no. At this point she was about to become a captive audience. The manager called for someone in the clothing department and over walked two women who, God bless them, managed to wrangle the woman and begin escorting her to the front. The employee who'd walked away laughing came over and escorted me back to grocery and told me that she was going to be detained and barred from the store. He was in a good mood, except
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 22
    A few minutes later I checked out, and was walking to the door when two police walked in, rather annoyed looking. I left with a smile on my face. Moral of the story, kids? Never inflict yourself on random people and assume they have to put up with your BS. You never know when you'll meet the crocodile hunter of Karen's.
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 23
    [deleted] It's so easy to prove an employee is lying about working somewhere, why don't more Karen's of the world believe it when someone says they don't work someplace? And then she keeps upping the ante until the police get involved. SMH 1.2k Share
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 24
    TH3_GR3Y_BUSH Your story telling is vary Dave Barry-esk. (He was a humor columnist from the 90's and one of my favorite authors). Loved it keep em coming if you got more. 1.1k Share ComedianXMI OP Oh I've got plenty. Sometimes me, sometimes being the manager involved. Its ridiculous how often this happens. 598 Share
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 25
    BigThunder3000 I'm glad you clarified the dog food was for your dog at the beginning. 471 Share ComedianXMI OP. I've worked with the public so long, and now with kids, that I know better than to leave that ambiguity. It's like leaving out catnip on your doorstep. 324 Share
    via u/ComedianXMI
  • 26
    BelRibeiro In this story I would 100% be the employee that has to leave because is laughing so hard. Love the story, more please. 115 Share
    via u/ComedianXMI

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customer support customer service workplace-stories talesfromretail retail karen-customer customers karen-customers tales-from-retail
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