‘You have to be more Chinese at your wedding’: A Friendship Goes Haywire After Chinese-American Friend Attempts to Push his Culture Onto his Friend's Wedding

Cultural differences are beautiful; the cultural religions, languages, mores, and behaviors that separate us from each other actually bring us closer together through learning the depth of the individual and where they come from. They also make us who we are. We can try all we want, but we can't escape our roots. Albeit for some, this can be a touchy subject. 

It makes sense that if someone had a traumatic experience in their home country, they are inclined to deviate and veer away from that culture because it could remind them of not-so-nice feelings. Keeping expats in mind, not all of them want to celebrate their home country's culture. Sometimes one leaves that country to find a better life, or escape from negative memories they carry there. 

So, is it ever appropriate to bring up a friend's ethnicity or culture if they have a traumatic experience with it? What about forcing a Chinese friend to use chopsticks instead of a fork and knife? In friendships we can see past a lot, but forcing a friend to have a traditional Chinese wedding, only because she's ethnically Chinese, is going one step too far…

Author image for Briana Viser Briana Viser
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