'She asked me if I'd be okay with getting rid of my cat': Son Tells His Mom That He Will Always Choose His Cat Over His Allergic Stepbrother

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Jan 30, 2024 9:00 AM EST

Cats are like family to us. Anyone who ever tells us that cats are not important or that cats are bad pets to have… gets immediately dismissed. These people are ones who have never experienced the joy of having a cat around the house. These are people who don't know how much cats love their humans. They're people who have never experienced having a cat snuggle you right when you need them. These are people who don't know that- actually, cats are not "like" family, cats are family to us, from the second that we adopt these fluffballs.

So, to be asked by anyone, let alone another member of your family, to get rid of your cat… is something unthinkable to us. And reading about a mother asking her son to do it in this thread… was beyond shocking. What do you think? Would you have done the same thing that the son did?

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  • 01
    r/AmltheA hole • 4 days ago Chasperi : AITA for telling my mother I would always choose my cat over my stepbrother?
    via u/Chasperi

    When we first read the title of this viral thread, we thought that this could really go either way. It's a bad idea to shut out family, even if it's your step family, but it's also an awful thing to do to get rid of your cat… for any reason. But after reading through the whole thing, we can safely say that this thread goes only one way. 

  • 02
    |(16m) live with my dad. My mother lives with her new husband and my stepbrother(13), both of whom I've only met once at the wedding. Her new husband doesn't want me to visit her at their place since he's worried about my dad knowing where she lives and visiting and trying to rekindle their past relationship. So she visits me instead.
    via u/Chasperi
  • 03
    She wants me to spend time with my stepbrother but couldn't bring him over since he is severely allergic to cats, so she asked me if I'd be okay with getting rid of my cat. I told her not. She protested, saying that if I don't then I won't ever get to know my stepbrother so I told her I don't care, and that I will always choose my cat.
    via u/Chasperi

    Being asked by anyone to "get rid of your" cat is cruel in our opinion, let alone in these circumstances. You don't get rid of a cat because someone that you see once in a blue moon wants to come over. You make it work! Cats are family too, and they should be treated as such.

  • 04
    My mother was rather upset when she left. Said that I shouldn't have been 'so dismissive' of her feelings like that.
    via u/Chasperi
  • 05
    UPDATE: I called her to talk about this. Asked her if her husband is so worried about my dad knowing where she lives, why couldn't she just pick me up and drive me there? Dad doesn't have to know the address. He doesn't have to take me there. She was stumped for a minute before answering. And it just made things worse.
    via u/Chasperi
  • 06
    She admitted she made up the jealousy issue to hide the real reason her husband doesn't want me over at their place. The guy has a couple of Patek Philippe watches that he is 'very protective of' and is worried I might see it and 'not be able to help myself.' She visits
    via u/Chasperi
  • 07
    only half an hour a month, not because her husband only allows that much time but because she was afraid I'd start asking questions. Thought it would hurt me less if I believed that the issue is adult jealousy than her husband thinking I might steal from him.
    via u/Chasperi
  • 08
    I asked her if she even bothered to stand up for me and tell him I would never steal his watches. She was silent. Then I told her that now I'm even more disgusted with her than before, when she wanted me to give up a family member for a kid I don't even really know, other than that one meeting at her
    via u/Chasperi
  • 09
    wedding, and that she should be ashamed of herself. She said she was sorry and won't bother me again. So we're done now. No more seeing each other. No contact from now on.
    via u/Chasperi
  • 10
    Ajstross. 5d ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [34] NTA. Your mother is the one who needs to work out her issues with her clingy, jealous husband. His insecurities shouldn't result in your having to get rid of a beloved pet. And his "logic" is baffling. He's jealous of your father and the possibility of your mother getting back together with him, so his solution is to send your mother over to your father's house to visit you? Something isn't right there. Reply Share 2.8K
    via u/Ajstross
  • 11
    Chasperi OP 5d ago The guy thinks that there is 'less risk' with her only being over half an hour each visit and one visit per month, than if dad can visit whenever dad wants. Reply ↑ Share 1.1K ...
    via u/Chasperi
  • 12
    lamIrene 5d ago Commander in Cheeks [227] so she asked me if I'd be okay with getting rid of my cat. Nope. No, no, no. She can ask all she wants but just, no. I'm curious, she thinks you're being dismissive of her feelings? What about your feelings? She's being pretty damn dismissive of those...and she's supposed to be the adult here, lol. ΝΤΑ.
    via u/lamIrene
  • 13
    Chasperi OP. 5d ago That is true. 201 Reply
    via u/Chasperi
  • 14
    Altruistic_Isopod 11 5d ago Certified Proctologist [26] NTA - you don't know him and you're not required to get to know him. If it was so important to her, she would've introduced him prior to her getting married. Keep your cat. Your mom and her controlling husband and his kid can kick rocks.
    via u/Altruistic_Isopod_11
  • 15
    Chasperi OP. 5d ago Definitely keeping my cat. Reply Ⓒ↑ 182 182
    via u/Chasperi
  • 16
    Glittering-Arm-1686 • 5d ago NTA... she has no right to tell you what to do... you don't live with her and someone else's allergies are not your problem... if your dad allowed the cat then who does she think she is... She wants you to bend over backwards for someone you don't know but she's not willing to bend for you... You're don't back down, tell your dad her half witted comment... Not cool...
    via u/Glittering-Arm-1686
  • 17
    Chasperi OP. 5d ago You're right. It is my dad's house. I'll tell her to ↑ 93 ↓ Reply 1 Share off.
    via u/Chasperi
  • 18
    artratt • 5d ago ΝΤΑ She can't (and shouldn't try to) force a relationship with him on you. Whatever the story is around the divorce, your parent's relationship (sounds toxic as hell), and your relationship with your mother... no 16 year old should be expected to process their family falling apart so easily that they can accept a new stranger as family without reservation. Honestly, ya'll should consider some family therapy to get through this whole issue.
    via u/artratt
  • 19
    Chasperi OP. 5d ago Thanks. Maybe if I tell her that I don't want a relationship with him even if my cat isn't in the picture it might get her to back off?
    via u/Chasperi

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cat aita thread mother viral Reddit mom Cats conflict
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