'My day, my rules!': Bridezilla Forces Sister-In-Law to Cover up Tattoos on Wedding Day, Sister in Law Refuses

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Jan 31, 2024 8:00 AM EST

The joining of two people under the holy vow of matrimony is referred to as a wedding. A joyous occasion that, in theory, ought to signify a day full of love and happiness. But what happens if the lovely bride is already turning into a bridezilla a year before the wedding even takes place?

The story that follows, however, is from a concerned future sister-in-law. OP's brother, who is now engaged, has asked her to be a bridesmaid. At first, OP felt happy and privileged to be a part of her future sister-in-law's special day. But as the big day approaches, OP is finding it more and more difficult to comply with the lengthy list of extravagant demands. OP is tired and feels dehumanized; she no longer wants to take part in the bridal party, but is scared to cause trouble because the future bride will be marrying her brother, whom she loves very much.

That being said, be sure to read the story below if you're interested in learning what transpired to drive OP to the point of no return! And when you're done, don't forget to read this story about the woman who refuses to take care of her stepdaughter here!

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  • 01
    Some background: The wedding will be at an exclusive social club in Palm Beach, where her folks live. The bride and groom both live in Manhattan and work in finance. My brother and I come from a middle class family, and we have a big, ethnic, not-wealthy family. The bride's parents grew up middle class and are now exorbitantly wealthy; the bride grew up exorbitantly wealthy and frankly is not used to hearing "no".
    via Canva
  • 02
    I'm a bridesmaid. Can I have a reality check? Am I dealing with a bridezilla or just being touchy?
    via u/munchnerk
  • 03
    Hi bridezillas community! My brother's wedding is very close on the horizon and I agreed to be a bridesmaid. I'm having a hard time figuring out what's reasonable and unreasonable here. Frankly, I am very, very seriously considering dropping out of the bridal party, but I want a gut check before I do something nuclear.
    via u/munchnerk
  • 04
    Some background: The wedding will be at an exclusive social club in Palm Beach, where her folks live. The bride and groom both live in Manhattan and work in finance. My brother and I come from a middle class family, and we have a big, ethnic, not- wealthy family. The bride's parents grew up middle class
    via u/munchnerk
  • 05
    we have a big, ethnic, not- wealthy family. The bride's parents grew up middle class and are now exorbitantly wealthy; the bride grew up exorbitantly wealthy and frankly is not used to hearing "no". I went to art school and have a couple tattoos on my arms (think plants and animals), and am a middle-class earner.
    via u/munchnerk
  • 06
    I'm gonna refer to the bride as "J". She hasn't asked me for anything during the planning process - she has demanded it. (I admittedly bristle at this in general, so I'm trying to untangle that feeling from the requests themselves.) So here are the demands:
    via u/munchnerk
  • 07
    1. Before they even got engaged, my brother warned me that she wants me to wear sleeves to the wedding. He said he tried to convince her otherwise but she's steadfast. It's a black-tie engagement. She picked my bridesmaid dress and had my brother give it to me without
    via u/munchnerk
  • 08
    saying anything. All of the bridesmaids are wearing different dresses... mine has full-length, sheer polyester sleeves. The dress looks bad on me and is uncomfortable, which seems par for the course for a bridesmaid's dress, but I'm really upset by the sleeves. Nobody else's
    via u/munchnerk
  • 09
    dress has sleeves, and they don't even hide my tattoos completely. I offered to help her find another dress and wear body makeup to cover my tattoos - no, she wants me in sleeves. I'm pretty deeply hurt by this, and my parents and husband are both upset on my behalf. I have the dress in my office to take to the
    via u/munchnerk
  • 10
    tailor and every time I look at it I just see a burning reminder that she is so embarrassed by my body, she determined 18 months in advance that she'd want it covered up on her big day. And she's not even covering it well or completely!
    via u/munchnerk
  • 11
    2. The wedding weekend itinerary. J just sent her bridesmaids a detailed wedding itinerary, and every waking moment after my plane lands will be spent being her bridesmaid. There are back-to-back events for *two days* leading up to the wedding, and on the wedding day, I'm expected
    via u/munchnerk
  • 12
    to be with her from 7:30am until 1am. What chaps me here is, it's my brother's wedding. Family is coming from all over, many of whom I only get to see at weddings and funerals nowadays, and I don't want anyone to d e soon so I better enjoy 'em at this wedding! And it's my BROTHER'S wedding, but it
    via u/munchnerk
  • 13
    sounds like I'll never really get to spend time with him? Much less relax and enjoy the scenery. 3. The minor demands. I am expected to arrive in Florida with a spray tan and pale pink mani-pedi. We're not allowed to wear any jewelry - I have a brass bangle on my wrist that
    via u/munchnerk
  • 14
    hasn't come off in 5 years because it's molded to my arm, and she expects me to take it off. We're having our hair and makeup done by her artist, which is pretty normal - but I never wear a full face of makeup or heat-treat my hair and she's made it clear I will be made up HER way (involving full foundation
    via u/munchnerk
  • 15
    and a flat iron). There are also dress codes for every minor event, including a brunch at a conservative country club with strict codes where "they don't let girls wear pants". She provided a list of "vibes" to build our outfits around for each event, such as "Elevated island cocktail attire" and has provided
    via u/munchnerk
  • 16
    colors she would like us to dress in. I consider myself fashionable, but my sense of style is my own. My wardrobe has a very limited overlap with any of the outfits she wants us to wear. There are at least seven different events with their own dress codes. I buy clothing very intentionally - think
    via u/munchnerk
  • 17
    capsule wardrobe - and the idea of having to go spend my money on a bunch of clothing for individual events really bothers me, especially because she's made it clear she's not looking for my interpretation of a style - she wants me to fit a mold.
    via u/munchnerk
  • 18
    There's more little things, but those are my big, personal hang-ups. There are similar issues with other folks - J's gotten upset with my family because nobody booked rooms in the hotel blocks and now they have to pay - the rooms cost $400-950/night, by the way. J and my brother *told* my parents to pay for the rehearsal
    via u/munchnerk
  • 19
    dinner - it's going to be $15-20k minimum. My mom has stopped paying into her retirement savings to afford it. My family's Jewish and she's made comments indicating she doesn't want 'too much' Jewish stuff at the wedding. She's insisted that she's going to take everyone's chairs away during the reception so everyone has to
    via u/munchnerk
  • 20
    dance. When I pressed, she clarified that she was NOT joking, and yes, she will even take away our 91-year-old grandmother's chair. That one actually p sed me off - you don't even joke about that, much less insist you're not joking. Her attitude about all this seems to be that she's the star (which is totally fair on your
    via u/munchnerk
  • 21
    wedding day!) and that everybody else is an accessory, including me. I'm just not sure how normal that part is. It feels awful and I am honestly dreading the whole event. I feel dehumanized. Frankly, the main reason I haven't pushed back or dropped out until now is that in the event
    via u/munchnerk
  • 22
    my brother ever needs my support (like marital struggles) I don't want him to hesitate to come to me. If I start a fight now, I could 100% see J making him choose me or her, and I think he would have to pick her, especially with this $$$$$ wedding behind them. On the other hand, if I drop out of the
    via u/munchnerk
  • 23
    wedding party, the wedding weekend sounds SUPER FUN without all of these constraints! What do you guys think? Is she a bridezilla or am I just being overly sensitive?
    via u/munchnerk
  • 24
    Sweet MelissaNash · 3 days ago You are not overreacting. She's reaching bridezilla territory with all the demands.
    via u/SweetMelissaNash
  • 25
    TUME Right Weather_8916 3 days ago Call your brother, tomorrow at the latest and tell him you are backing out of being her bridesmaid. You are unable to perform duties to her expectations & standards as a bridesmaid. Ask him if he is comfortable with you as a guest only.
    via u/Right_Weather_8916
  • 26
    If he agrees to your being a guest arrive in Florida with a bottle of very very good scotch tucked away in your place in NYC. He will need it for the day he realizes he will be divorced & is distraught. Her actions are very abnormal.
    via u/Right_Weather_8916
  • 27
    TomatoNo5047. 3 days ago Talk to your brother first. Phrase it you want to be there to support him, spend time with him and your family. You can't do this and be a bridesmaid.
    via u/TomatoNo5047
  • 28
    AikenRhetWrites · 3 days ago Everyone else has given you great advice, OP, so I just want to add: props to you for the careful way that you've approached and considered this. Lots of people don't stop to untangle different feelings and just go in swinging, whereas you recognized that
    via u/AikenRhetWrites
  • 29
    there are a LOT of buttons being pushed at once, and didn't act rashly. Mad props from this internet rando! ;) And not "too much Jewish stuff" at the wedding?? Freaking YIKES.
    via u/AikenRhetWrites
  • 30
    Lillianrik 3 days ago Bride IS expecting too much. I'm 50-50 on dropping out. Why not talk to your brother about it and focus on the fact that its unrealistic for you to have to buy a wardrobe to satisfy her dress code for events.
    via u/Lillianrik
  • 31
    If you do decide to stay in I'd be very, very tempted to have a seamstress replace the sleeves on the dress "J" selected with better fabric.
    via u/Lillianrik

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friendship feud family drama marriage sister-in-law askreddit reddit story family feud entitled engagement sisterhood bridezilla Reddit dramatic karen entitled people
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