Concepts That We Wish Our Delinquent Cats Understood So Our Lives Could Be A Bit Less Hilariously Cat-astrophic

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Feb 21, 2024 10:00 AM EST

We love our cats. A lot. But we do have to say that… there are some things we wish they understood about us. Like the fact that cats don't need to follow us to the bathroom, nothing is going to happen to us if they don't. And that cartons with fresh eggs are not a seat for cats, and they should stop thinking that it is. And that closed doors are not cats' ultimate rivals, and no, dangit, we are not going to get out of bed to open that door for you again, Mr. Mistoffelees. 

If they only understood concepts like fairness and privacy, our lives would be a lot less hilarious cat-astrophic. That is if they understood these concepts and cared. Because we have to admit that sometimes we think they do get it, but they choose to be annoying little rascals and drive us insane on purpose.  

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  • 01
    hotdrinks Follow I wish I could make cats understand the concept of fairness. Of hypocrisy. I wish next time Beatrice was eating I could stick my hand in her bowl and dig around and say "see? Not very nice is it?" And she would say "I understand now father you're right". But instead? Big fat paw in my soup #drinks talk tag #unfortunately shes very cute :/
    via hotdrinks

    Some of the things that they do truly make no sense. Why put a paw in someone's soup? What's the point? Why bite our ankles in the middle of the night? Do they just want a midnight snack? Why follow us to the bathroom and scream if they are not let in? Why? Questions, questions…

  • 02
    (12) hotdrinks hotdrinks [ID: two blurry photos of Beatrice the cat. In the first she is looking at a single jalapeño in a bowl. In the second her paw is in motion reaching for the jalapeño. End ID] Big fat paw in action!!!!
    via hotdrinks

    There is literally no reason to do this. This jalapeño is not going to be delicious, and the cat knows it. We're sure that she can smell the spice and has zero interest in it. It's just about being a little rascal and causing trouble. Sigh, life would be so boring without cats, wouldn't it?

  • 03
    toothbrushunicorn lavalampsforsale I wish I could explain the concept of society and value of kindness to Zany. The terrible thing is, I really think she already knows these things and chooses v olence everyday instead. #my cat is regina george #zany #zany sassyfluff #cats
    via toothbrushunicorn
  • 04
    niiwa-angel gloomyrelaxing I wish I could telly cat that I don't stick her in the trauma box and take her to the vet because I want her to suffer, but because the shot they give her improves her quality of life. I would also ask her not to piss on me whenever I get the trauma box
    via niiwa-angel
  • 05
    serratedspirals prisonhannibal I gently bump my head against my housemate's cats when they're doing things in hopes they will learn to stop closing my laptop on me or knock stuff out of my hands but ultimately they just enjoy it and no lesson is learned.
    via serratedspirals
  • 06
    the-least-undefinable-ordinal sylvememe Seems like your cat understands just fine, she gets to stick her paw in your soup and you don't stick yours in her food because you don't think it'll work. This is like the optimal outcome for her.
    via the-least-undefinable-ordinal
  • 07
    catastrophic-crow gayvampyr gonna start using this as a statement of general dissatisfaction. i was hoping this thing would go well but instead? big fat paw in my soup #"big fat paw in my soup" #synonym: not poggers
    via catastrophic-crow
  • 08
    so-much-for-subtlety mossbyrn Beatrice is a creature of divine light and a borderline sociopath. I think she might be quite pleased with that arrangement.
    via so-much-for-subtlety
  • 09
    needabetternamelater prettybirdy979 Have you tried pretending to eat from her bowl after you have filled it but before you give it to her so she knows it's 'safe'? B/c from what I can tell from googling this, the solution to 'cat is in the way/cat is being a pain' is almost always to give them a way to mirror you.
    via needabetternamelater
  • 10
    tosety otteroflore Fair? You say fair? Mother eats glorious wet soup while Miette gets dry kibble. That is why paw in soup. Paw in soup for 1000 years
    via tosety
  • 11
    oldfarmwitch danielledreamsthedayaway ready to get his paws all up in my salad
    via oldfarmwitch
  • 12
    YOU GOT THIS hang-on-lil-tomato hotdrinks oh, Beatrice understands completely. #Cats #cats know exactly what they're doing #cats hath privilege
    via hang-on-lil-tomato
  • 13
    hedgehogoftime assigned-knives-at-birth Cats do understand the concept of fairness. They simply do not care.
    via hedgehogoftime
  • 14
    loving-life-my-way thenhewaswrongaboutme Would never work on my cat. He likes when I stick my hand in his bowl. Because he actually prefers to eat out of my hand (I 100% blame my mom and she laughs and admits to teaching him to eat out of her hand). He will eat out of his bowl but he prefers to have me sitting/standing next to him while he eats (my grandma taught him that one) or me hand feeding him the most.
    via loving-life-my-way
  • 15
    And it's adorable that he does! It really is! Except he prefers to graze which means it can take hours if I actually hand fed him the entire time. Or when he wants to eat at 4am and literally does everything he can think of to wake me up then lead me to his bowl, all so he can eat while I stand there bleary eyed while he eats. I'd ignore the 4am wake up but he will literally knock my bedside lamp on my head if I don't wake up by him playing with the spring door stops, knocking a cup into the bat
    via loving-life-my-way
  • 16
    breadshot predatory-lesbians Cats understand fairness. They just resent it. :
    via breadshot
  • 17
    gruemoon kimaofvord When i was cat sitting for my sister, the cat would paw at my arm and meow at me nigh unceasingly when i was trying to sleep in the morning. So one day when he was lying down nice and comfy i turned the tables. I poked him (gently!) while repeatedly saying "hi kitty!!!" He gave me a whithering look, but i could see the wheels in his head turning. He didn't completely stop bugging me in the morning, but it did become less frequent for a while. (He's a very good kitty, so he al
    via gruemoon
  • 18
    telopeaspeciosissima kayloulee Nim stomps painfully on my chest to wake me up and apparently this is just and good. I gently touch her foot while she is sleeping and she is outraged and must leave the room in protest. Fairness is as far from the feelings mind as the Earth is from Pluto.
    via telopeaspeciosissima
  • 19
    myemuisemo olik71 Ah, if only my Little Siamese (Who Does What She Please) could be made to understand that it's rude to shove the Public Universal Fang away from his food bowl for eating too slow. She wouldn't like it being done to her!
    via myemuisemo
  • 20
    hermetichermethermes gotta-spike-it She's just testing the temperature for you. Ungrateful little oaf
    via hermetichermethermes

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