Woman Rescues Partner's Daughter When She Starts Menustrating By Gifting Her Period Underwear, Ex-Wife Gets Lawyer Involved, Claiming Ex's Partner Overstepped Her Bounds

Author image for Eleonora Bader
Eleonora Bader
Feb 26, 2024 10:00 AM EST

Not to go all History Channel on you, but period underwear is such a game-changer for modern women. 

First of all, it's revolutionary, because it has forever changed the way women deal with their periods. Throughout history, women navigated the challenges of menstrual cycles using various (super meh) methods, including cloth and homemade pads. Modern women's menstrual hygiene is transformed by period underwear… It provides a sustainable, comfortable, and leak-proof alternative to traditional products like pads and tampons. It also offers women the chance to feel confident and unrestricted during their periods (which hello, big win), challenging societal taboos and promoting period positivity.

The woman in the story below had good intentions when rescuing her partner's daughter during her first period… But her partner's ex-wife disagreed, and even got her lawyer involved in an attempt to get full custody of her kids. Overreact much? Maybe. Scroll down to read all about it, and then check out these Lord of the Rings memes.

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  • 01
    AITA for making my partner's daughter use my period underwear?
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  • 02
    My partner and I live together and his daughters "Leah" (11f) and "Rachel" (8f) were staying with us. It was school holidays a few weeks ago in our country - I work from home so the girls were with me during the day. During the school holidays, Leah got her first period. But the problem was, we didn't have pads at home. We have tampons for guests, and I use a menstrual cup/period underwear. I didn't think getting Leah to use tampons right
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  • 03
    away was a good idea - it was her first period, she's still young, and I also felt like it would be overstepping if I taught Leah how to use a tampon without permission from her parents. My partner was in a meeting, so his phone was on do not disturb and he didn't see my call/message until a few hours later. I don't have their mum's contact. This led to another problem - in our country, you can't leave kids alone until they're 14. I don't have a car, and I
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  • 04
    don't feel comfortable taking the two kids anywhere on public transport without their parents being aware (especially when one of them bl d through her pants). In that situation - I decided to let Leah use my period underwear. It was a little big for her, but it was thoroughly cleaned and dried. Not sure if relevant, but I've only used the underwear once - I'm on birth control and get my period less than once a year. I thought this was the
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  • 05
    best solution until my partner picks up some pads on his way home. Aside from assuring Leah that the b ding was normal, I waited for my partner to get home and discuss with his ex-wife how to give Leah "the period talk". My partner has no issues with how I handled it, but his ex-wife, on the other hand, did not react well at all. She said I treated Leah like a "second-class citizen" because I gave her my used underwear, and she wants to change the current custody arrangement (from 50/50 to
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  • 06
    90/10) because my presence would harm the girls. She also said the fact that we didn't keep pads at home shows that we are unequipped to parent the girls. My partner has my back - he said he would have done exactly what I did and continues to defend me. But I see that he is heartbroken, his ex-wife has engaged her lawyer (and he's engaged his lawyer too), but he is scared that he will lose custody of his daughters, or that
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  • 07
    this would affect his relationship with his daughters. But was I the & e? Was giving Leah my underwear inappropriate? Open to your thoughts, I would like to learn from this so I can be a better step-parent figure to the girls.
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  • 08
    Update: thank you everyone for your feedback! I woke up to hundreds of new comments. I read them this morning, but won't be able to respond to each one. Lots of you asked why I don't have the ex's number. There's only been a handful of times my partner left the girls alone with me. The girls don't live in our house - partner and ex rents house just for the girls and they switch living at the girls' house every week. The girls were here because I can look after them
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  • 09
    during school holidays (instead of sending them to holiday club etc). It's just never occurred to us I might need to contact the ex directly. The ex and I also never got along because there's a big age gap between me and my partner. I met my partner in my mid-20s (he was in his late 30s), and it's been a few years but the ex still isn't comfortable with the age gap. She called me a gold digger, broke a
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  • 10
    paper mache bedside table I spent a month making for the girls, broke my violin strings the day of a concert I was performing at (all within the first month of meeting me). It got better for a while, we were cordial and respectful in front of the kids. But after an incident I mentioned in the comments, it declined again.
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  • 11
    If I wore a hoodie at home for example, she'd ask my partner "are you sure she's old enough to take care of our girls?" I've always kept my distance - but I think the age gap is potentially what has made her wanted full custody the whole time.
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  • 12
    claritybeginshere · 4 mo. ago · edited 4 mo. ago I cannot imagine anyone ruling in her favour. I mean, if she was so much more caring and responsible, why hadn't she supplied her daughters with an emergency pad or two in their bags? It could have happened in school. Would she have then pulled her daughter out of the school if she didn't approve of the brand they supplied her? Or worse still, between school and home on public transport, would she have banned them from ever traveling on public tra
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  • 13
    Too YoungForDisco · 4 mo. ago · edited 4 mo. ago Partassipant [1] NTA - the other option was stuffing TP in her undies until dad got home. We've all been there, not fun. If you're in the US, no judge would entertain a custody change over this. Snidely, maybe mom is "unequipped" to parent the girls if she hasn't had the period talk yet with her ELEVEN year old daughter! Some girls get a period at age 9! I think you did the best you could given the circumstances (I'm also a stepmom and had to hand
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  • 14
    blank_plans OP - 4 mo. ago Honestly at this point, I'm wondering if maybe Leah using toilet paper would've avoided the whole situation. But then maybe the ex would've reacted the same "you didn't even bother looking for options before making Leah bd through toilet paper for 4 hours?!?!?!" 1.9k Reply Share
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  • 15
    inFinEgan 4 mo. ago Supreme Court Just- [103] No judge in their right mind is going to award custody over poor planning for a girl's first period. More than likely, the judge will think that was a brilliant solution. You don't mention Leah feeling bad about any of this, so I assume she had no issue. The ex is using this situation as a power grab and is likely to fail. ΝΤΑ
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  • 16
    blankplans OP - 4 mo. ago Leah was fascinated by all the period options available out there haha - and has asked if she can keep using period underwear because it's more comfortable than pads. Maybe that adds to the ex's frustration lol, Leah apparently told her "I like blank_plans' underwear more". 1.6k Reply Share
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  • 17
    Aethermist88 - 4 mo. ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [43] Big NTA. They were clean and they were your only option at the time. What else were you supposed to do? Let her keep ing through her clothes until your partner got home? You did the right thing. Your partner supports you and agrees you did the right thing. Honestly, it just sounds like the ex has been waiting for a reason to change the custody agreement to S w over her ex/your partner so is blowing this out of proportion.
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  • 18
    blank plans OP. 4 mo. ago Maybe yes. I know the ex never really liked me, but she's always been at least polite and rational. Her reaction to this really made me think I ed up somehow. S 289 Reply Share
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  • 19
    Low Balance4404.4 mo. ago Supreme Court Just- [133] NTA. If anything you overthought this which just shows me how responsible and caring you are. Wow. If all step parents were like you, earth would be a better place. 210 Reply Share
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period underwear period girl power lawyer kids feminine hygiene product women history gift partners parenting ex wife feminine family dispute women children custody
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