23-year-old remote worker refuses to continue babysitting 3 and 5-year-old nieces at sister's every whim, family insist that 'You are at home anyway'

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Aug 19, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

If you are a mother yourself or are at least know someone currently facing the trials and tribulations of parenting, then you'll likely have heard the phrase "it takes a village" by now. While there is definitely some very real truth to the saying, it is most commonly repeated by parents that just want an excuse to clock out of parenting while someone else picks up the slack. 

This is the awful family dynamic one aunt finds herself in today. Her sister has two young daughters who, thanks to zero discipline, are way more than any one person can handle. Their dad is completely checked out from fatherly duties, leaving their enabling mom to do all of the parenting. Except she completely offloads her motherly duties onto their aunt, a WFH techie, who she seems to believe is actually an on-demand babysitter. This all comes to a head when our narrator finally asserts her boundaries, refusing to babysit, once and for all, on the day that the girls' mom has a last-minute job interview.

This isn't really a unique dynamic. I've never been in a situation this bad, but I was something of an unspoken babysitter for my cousins' kids at family gatherings for a while there. Luckily, I had my mom on my side, and she spoke up for me. Unfortunately, boundaries between family members are notoriously hard to set. However, if you find yourself in a similar situation, remember that being related doesn't automatically make you a free nanny, wedding planner, or therapist. Saying no isn't cruel, and sometimes it's the only way to put a stop to being taken advantage of!

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to babysit my nieces?

    Mother on the phone and working on laptop while she helds a baby and another little girl draws at her desk
    via Kaspars Grinvalds

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story. 

  • 02
    My (23f) sister (29f) has two daughters ages 5 and 3. She's made them very misbehaved and she never disciplines them. My
    via u/UseIndependent8398
  • 03
    mom also enables the kids to be bu ies and mean and she never disciplines bad behavior either.
    via u/UseIndependent8398
  • 04
    My 5 year old niece has had two warnings from her kindergarten for bad behavior. My sister's husband is barely involved and
    via u/UseIndependent8398
  • 05
    he only cares about going out with the boys and football. My mom and my sister consider this normal and whenever I call out
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  • 06
    this behavior I'm met with "he's a man, not a babysitter" excuse.
    via u/UseIndependent8398
  • 07
    Two little girls play fighting
    via annakraynova

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story. 

  • 08
    Also my mom and my sister believe it's more of my duty to also take care of her kids than it is their father's simply because
    via u/UseIndependent8398
  • 09
    I'm a woman and they also claim they wanna train me for the future for when I become a mom.
    via u/UseIndependent8398
  • 10
    I am engaged to be married to my lovely fiancé (24m), we live together, we both work remote tech jobs. My schedule is more
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  • 11
    Couple working from home, woman pointing at her laptop
    via Nataliya Vaitkevich from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story. 

  • 12
    demanding than his but we both love our jobs. Because of the remote nature of our work my sister and mom believe they can
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  • 13
    drop the kids by our house whenever they want because "you are at home anyway". My fiancé has rightfully so
    via u/UseIndependent8398
  • 14
    demanded boundaries which I have tried to impose but my sis and mom never respect. They even go as far as to claim my
    via u/UseIndependent8398
  • 15
    fiancé is trying to cut me off from the family and how he doesn't want me to have a relationship with my nieces etc. They also
    via u/UseIndependent8398
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    blame me for spending more money on stuff for me, my fiancé and our 4 dogs than I spend on my nieces.
    via u/UseIndependent8398

  • It's crazy to me when an entitled person disparages the very person that they are trying to take advantage of… like, that won't work, dude!

  • 17
    My sister hasn't worked in 6 years and she now decided to start working again. She has a job interview scheduled on Friday
    via u/UseIndependent8398
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    and she demanded I watch the kids. I said there's no way, I'm working. She said it's a remote job so it doesn't count. I insisted
    via u/UseIndependent8398
  • 19
    no. I'm working so is my fiancé and her kids are not exactly saints so it's not like I can occupy them to be quiet somehow. My sister started yelling at me through the phone about how I
    via u/UseIndependent8398
  • 20
    hate her kids and how I hate her, she started throwing curses at me also hoping I suffer from endometriosis and to never have kids because I hate her children.
    via u/UseIndependent8398
  • 21
    My father who's mostly uninvolved with the whole drama called me to berate me on how I'm not being the "village" my sister needs and how I haven't
    via u/UseIndependent8398
  • 22
    supported her at all despite knowing how terrible and unhelpful her husband is. He also said that if she misses the job interview it will be on me. My
    via u/UseIndependent8398
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    mom of course sided with my sister too. Aita for refusing to babysit and potentially causing my sis to miss an interview?
    via u/UseIndependent8398

  • Woah, this family is using every manipulation tactic in the book. Truly, the only way forward is to hold strong to those boundaries!

  • 24
    NTA it's HER kids, not yours. Even if she comes by, don't open the door, it's that easy :)
    via u/UseIndependent8398
  • 25
    Boeing367-80 One of the downsides of remote working, for sure. "I'm an aunt, not a babysitter."
    via u/Boeing367-80
  • 26
    Frustrated woman trying to work puts face in hands while two little girls play in the background
    via Kaspars Grinvalds

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story. 

  • 27
    You have no obligation to your sister in this regard. And there's no way for you to babysit without damaging/destroying your career and that of your partner. So the only thing you can do is keep saying no, and mean it.
    via u/Boeing367-80
  • 28
    boredathome1962 NTA. Every single person who berates you have volunteered to join the village. Give sis their names and say they have volunteered, your door meanwhile will be locked.
    via u/boredathome1962
  • 29
    BetterTransit Start with the dad. He can be the village leader
    via u/BetterTransit
  • 30
    HunterDangerous1366 I've said this multiple times: Having a village is nice, but you aren't obligated to be part of the village just because they want one. You weren't asked to be a villager, nor do you want to be.
    via u/HunterDangerous1366
  • 31
    Say No. Her job interview isn't more important than your job. What happens if she's successful? Cos I can guarantee that you WILL be expected to provide childcare.
    via u/HunterDangerous1366
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    If she misses the job interview cos she can't arrange adequate childcare for the duration, then that's on sister, not you. Any further calls and messages, just
    via u/HunterDangerous1366
  • 33
    tell them no. They will be dropped off anyway? Refuse to answer the door and tell sis that you will be notifying the relevant authorities if she tries to leave them there.
    via u/HunterDangerous1366
  • 34
    Queen_of_Meh1987 NTA. It's fine if you're ASKED to babysit, but it should never be expected, especially for nothing in return, not even thanks/
    via u/Queen_of_Meh1987
  • 35
    appreciation. Not your kids, not your problem; you have your own life to live. Too many parents have this idea that their kids are everyone else's responsibility, too.
    via u/Queen_of_Meh1987

Tags

childcare family drama entitled parents siblings work relationships parenting babysitting wfh aunt entitled family sister Parenting Fail parents entitled people
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