'Who did you buy this for?': Woman Suspects Husband Is Cheating After Discovering an Unusual Credit Card Purchase, Redditors Urge Her to Resist Confronting Him

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Feb 27, 2024 11:00 AM EST

Even though it is supposed to be a fun and possibly empowering experience, buying lingerie is usually a simply horrible experience that I personally try to avoid. The last time I went, it was with my boyfriend and I cried in the fitting room because nothing fit me the way I wanted it to, and I couldn't stand the thought of my boyfriend coming in to look. 

So when I tell you my heart went out for the woman in this Reddit post, I mean it. No good outcome can come out of the situation she describes. Long story short, she found an unusual purchase on her and her husband's joint account, which later she learns was for lingerie that is definitely too small for her. The conclusion can mean two options - either he bought it for her and she is going to have to try it on and probably return it, or he bought it for someone else, and is actually cheating on his wife.

Neither is a fun option. Scroll down to read the full story and the Redditors' advice on what she should do. Once you are done scrolling, come back up and click here for another story of a man who missed his wife's birthday party because he preferred to work instead. 

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  • 01
    WIBTA for asking my husband (38M) if he's cheating after he secretly bought lingerie that was too small for me (44F)?
    via u/ThrowRA-Mud-6680
  • 02
    I'm trying to figure out if there's a reasonable explanation behind this because I can't believe he would cheat on me. My husband and I have been married for years and raised two beautiful children.
    via u/ThrowRA-Mud-6680
  • 03
    He's always been a loving, romantic, affectionate, perfect husband. I never had any doubts about him. I have an athletic body. I'm very healthy but I am not small.
    via u/ThrowRA-Mud-6680
  • 04
    We have joint finances and I noticed an unusual purchase. My husband had bought expensive lingerie arriving today. I looked into it.
    via u/ThrowRA-Mud-6680
  • 05
    On one hand, it's too small for me and built for a petite skinny woman with no muscles. And I have never worn lingerie. I don't even know if I would be confident in lingerie.
    via u/ThrowRA-Mud-6680
  • 06
    And he knows my size. He's bought clothes for me before, including underwear, and has never been wrong. This so is clearly the wrong size, way too small for me. The brand has undercarriage, waist and hip sizes.
    via u/ThrowRA-Mud-6680
  • 07
    My husband is handsome and has women throwing themselves at him. I have no doubt that if he wanted to he could easily get an affair partner.
    via u/ThrowRA-Mud-6680
  • 08
    On the other hand, it could conceivably be an insanely tight fit on me. And he's shipping it to our home address instead of his office.
    via u/ThrowRA-Mud-6680
  • 09
    He didn't have anything incriminating on his phone but we share phones so it could mean nothing.
    via u/ThrowRA-Mud-6680
  • 10
    WIBTA for confronting him about the lingerie? I don't want my husband to feel that I don't trust him but I don't have any other explanations.
    via u/ThrowRA-Mud-6680
  • 11
    Edit: I have never worn lingerie in my life. He hasn't bought me lingerie before. It's very frilly and cute, not something that would suit me even if it fit.
    via u/ThrowRA-Mud-6680
  • 12
    He is a perfectionist and has never bought me the wrong size in clothes. If it was a mistake in sizing he would have called weeks ago when it was ordered. The lingerie has actual
    via u/ThrowRA-Mud-6680
  • 13
    measurements and my husband knows my measurements. Edit: I am not going to be home when the package arrives. I don't open packages anyways.
    via u/ThrowRA-Mud-6680
  • 14
    It's way way way too small to fit my husband. I know a few women it would fit. I don't usually go through credit card transactions. If I hadn't looked at them to cancel a
    via u/ThrowRA-Mud-6680
  • 15
    subscription I wouldn't have noticed the pricey credit card charge to a lingerie store. Our children are young. If they stole the credit card, my husband would have
    via u/ThrowRA-Mud-6680
  • 16
    noticed the pricey credit card charge to a lingerie store. Our children are young. If they stole the credit card, my husband would have immediately noticed and shut it down. It's entirely inappropriate for children.
    via u/ThrowRA-Mud-6680
  • 17
    JobobTexan 1 day ago Give it a few days. If he doesn't surprise you with it then start questioning him
    via u/JobobTexan
  • 18
    Sptsjunkie 1 day ago If you open your present and it's a Joni Mitchell CD then he's definitely cheating.
    via u/Sptsjunkie
  • 19
    SeeKaleidoscope . 1 day ago As hard as it is you HAVE to wait. If you ask he will just say it is for you. Update this please
    via u/SeeKaleidoscope
  • 20
    Lucyanova17. 1 day ago Do NOT confront him Best case scenario : He bought you lingerie and made an honest mistake about the size. It happens
    via u/Lucyanova17
  • 21
    Worst case scenario: He is cheating on you.If you confront him, you alert him to the fact that you suspect him,and he will be more careful to conceal himself and you won't have the physical evidence you might need later for a divorce case
    via u/Lucyanova17
  • 22
    Watch and see what he is up too.Look for other classic signs of cheating. If he turns out to be in the clear, don't tell him that you thought he was cheating either
    via u/Lucyanova17
  • 23
    UnemployedAtype. 1 day ago Buying lingerie is NOT like buying clothes. I've totally nailed it and totally messed it up. Just because someone can do one doesn't mean that they can do the other.
    via u/UnemployedAtype
  • 24
    EstimateExciting3509 · 1 day ago I would wait. Honestly. Think of it as a test. Wait a few days after you know it has arrived and, if he hasn't given it to you as a gift, you can confront him.
    via u/EstimateExciting3509
  • 25
    Is he a small man? Would the lingerie fit him? Maybe he bought it for himself? It is a lil sus. But I would say, trust your intuition right now, and wait and see what he does. Also. I want an update.
    via u/EstimateExciting3509
  • 26
    ThrowRA-Mud-6680 OP. 1 day ago You're right, I could mess this up by confronting him. I'm just not good with holding secrets like this.
    via u/ThrowRA-Mud-6680
  • 27
    He's never been interested in cross dressing and it would never fit him even if he was. This was meant for someone very petite and thin.
    via u/ThrowRA-Mud-6680
  • 28
    Deddy's Colling... Ancient-Character-12. 1 day ago You mentioned that you never really wear lingerie. Because this is new territory, and lingerie fits extra snug - could be just be way off on sizing? Has he been trying to spice things up or anything?00
    via u/Ancient-Character-12
  • 29
    ThrowRA-Mud-6680 OP. 1 day ago Not likely. He's bought undergarments for me before and he's never been wrong on size. He hasn't been spicing things up recently. It's pretty much the opposite but he's really busy this time of year.
    via u/ThrowRA-Mud-6680
  • 30
    Rude-Flamingo5420 · 1 day ago I'm a L/XL but also about 6ft tall athletic. So when my partner does buy me the occasional lingerie (once in a blue moon) it's always a size M... I think he's more afraid to get me a bigger size and have me offended so he just gets me cute small stuff lol.
    via u/Rude-Flamingo5420

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