'Mind [your] own business': Neighbor refuses to heed warning about getting the proper permits, pays dearly for his arrogance

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Mar 4, 2024 10:00 AM EST

Generally, when someone is willing to lend their advice to help you with a problem it's best to listen. Still, no one likes unsolicited advice and that's an important thing to remember when you consider offering it—regardless of whether or not someone is in dire need of hearing it. Those who have elected to proceed without the proper knowledge and precautions are most likely to be the least receptive to listening to other people. Then, if they decide to arrogantly proceed with something that is blatantly dangerous, it's time to get the proper authorities involved.

This arrogant neighbor refused to listen when this homeowner advised him that the renovations he was undertaking on his property required proper permits and safety considerations. Despite the homeowner's best intentions and attempts to communicate his message diplomatically, he was met with a discourteous retort and decided to wash his hands of the situation. Eventually, the predictable occurred and the local governing body caught on to the unpermitted changes that were taking place and the neighbor paid dearly for not heeding the warning he had been given. Of course, he then blamed the person who had tried to warn him for "tattling."

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  • 01
    Posted by u/TenebrousSunshine Husband tries to warn neighbors about their landscaping, gets told to mind his own business..... LOC Some background: my husband is pretty handy. Prior to Covid, he had done several flip houses as a "fun" side gig (it's what he loves to do), and he became very familiar with a ton of city codes. During Covid, seems everyone was suddenly buying houses to flip out of boredom and prices sky rocketed, so he put that on hold. So then he started doing household repairs and
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  • 02
    fences, etc. around the neighborhood as well. To get a better understanding of the neighborhood HOA bylaws and whatnot, he joined the HOA Architectural Committee. Through that he learned all there was to know about what was allowed and what was not, how the process worked, how to work around things, etc. Long story short, my husband was VERY knowledgeable in what to do and not do, and various processes with the neighborhood AND the city.
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  • 03
    Our next door neighbor decided they were going to start landscaping their backyard, and they I guess planned to make theirs as similar to our backyard as possible. Problem was, despite being next door neighbors, our land was quite different. For one thing, behind our house was a bunch of brush and pine trees maybe 3-4' from the lake that's at the back of the house. We didn't have to do a whole lot to clear the area, but the brush on their property was about 1/3 of their yard (I'd say 10' from th
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  • 04
    First thing the neighbors did was cut down all the trees in their backyard. They were not small trees either, but 4 story tall trees or more. Husband and neighbor were talking about the backyard plans when my husband casually mentioned he was surprised the city gave him permission to cut down so many trees (in our city, you had to have an arborist give permission to cut down any trees that were X ft tall. Neighbor first said it wasn't the city's business what he did with his backyard, then told
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  • 05
    Then they started putting up the retaining wall to bring it up to level with our property, which would have been about 7-8′ tall. Basically they were just stacking a bunch of cinderblocks. My husband uneasily asked if their landscapers had ever done a retaining wall like that, and if the city approved it. City says that if a retaining wall is over 5' tall you need a structural engineer to come out. Neighbor said again it wasn't any of the city's business what he did to his yard, and for my husba
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  • 06
    While they're filling up the backyard to bring theirs level to ours, the landscapers are dumping all the dirt, gravel, and sand in the street, blocking a little over half the road. Several of the neighbors who had trucks would just hop the curb, but other neighbors with smaller cars were mad. Before my husband could ask if they could put the dirt and stuff in their driveway instead of the road (like everyone else), neighbor went off on my husband to right off.
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  • 07
    Well ok then. My husband let them continue working, and didn't say a word as they started constructing a 10' tall fence (which was against HOA regulations, fences couldn't be taller than 6'). Between them starting construction 6 days a week before 7am and them blocking the road, I guess someone had had enough. Next thing I know city officials are out there putting a big- sign in the yard saying all construction was to be halted until further notice. It wasn't us, but my husband found out through
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  • 08
    someone had complained about the noise and the road blockage to the HOA, who came out to investigate, saw everything they had done, and then reported them to the city. They got a hefty fine for every tree stump the city official found. The structural engineer said their retaining wall was not sound and had to be redone, and it had to have regular inspections during its build. The HOA also told them that not only did they have to take down their 10′ tall fence, but as they did not get prior appro
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  • 09
    Initially Neighbor came after us for tattling but we told them it wasn't us, as nothing they did affected us in any way (our kids are early risers, so even starting before 7 didn't bother us). My husband then said he tried to warn them this would happen but Neighbor told him to off and mind his own business and he did. Landscaping had started on Black Friday, was shut down for 3 weeks while I guess they got things sorted out with the city and HOA. Their backyard is still not finished.
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  • 10
    Edit: I truly want to say, it wasn't us that called the HOA or city. We just let him be. But he off a LOT of neighors. When cutting down those trees, he had chainsaws and the woodchippers going off by 6:45. And the bobcat being used by 7am six days a week. Other neighbors tried to ask him to put his dirt on his driveway instead of the street, he told them off to mind their own business too. And a few people went ballistic on him when their car slid a bit after the rains we had turned the remaini
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  • 11
    The school bus could also easily have complained to someone about it too, as it was a big ordeal for them. Also, there were other things he did to his front yard that we didn't warn him about either and he got dinged for, but I made this post mostly about him trying to go against the city. Although the changes he made to the driveway also got dinged by the city. And yes, from what I heard, the tree fines were painful.
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  • 12
    Edit 2: no really, it wasn't us Although not going to lie, we almost ratted them out when they took out the beautiful oak tree in their front yard, put up a 20' flag pole, and put up a Chicago Bears flag (my husband can't stand that team). But we still kept quiet, and that flag pole was taken down about a week later. It again, it could have been the HOA or city noticing on their own, or a neighbor reporting them because the clanging it made all day and night was awful.
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  • 13
    PREMIUM_POKEBALL 2 days ago . Remember: when doing crimes do one at a time. e:cherry on this thread was finding out this was done in a HOA zone. Reply Share 2.2k yParticle 2 days ago Yeah, no one ever got famous for being a parallel crimer! Reply Share 301
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  • 14
    RealUltimate Papo 2 days ago . then told my husband to mind his own business went off on my husband to off Sometimes, people get what they deserve. A smart person will learn from this, and stop behaving like such a 1 457 right Reply Share
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  • 15
    TheRogue Patriot · 2 days ago If I was the neighbor and I was told that you knew all the city's codes for how things should be done with my house / yard I think I would be bugging you constantly to make sure I'm doing everything right and making sure I'm saving headache down the road. The last thing I'd want to do is alienate someone like that 96 Reply Share
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  • 16
    iqgoldmine 2 days ago ratting them out early would have been a mecry 926 UncleHec 2 days ago . 173 Reply Share It would make a mecry if OP took it easy on those jerks. 85 Reply Share VectorViper 2 days ago Looks like the typo train's chugging along, choo choo for mecry. Reply Share ●●●
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  • 17
    ComputerAbject5457 2 days ago . So apparently it IS the city's business what he does with his land 344 Reply Share Hyperion1144 2 days ago FYI, if you live in most places in the civilized world... There is more than one level of government who has authority over what you do on your land. Reply Share 142 ●●●
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  • 18
    butterfly-garden - 2 days ago I'll be honest. This is the first time I actually supported the actions of an HOA on a Reddit post.. 78 Reply Share
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  • 19
    twomz 2 days ago The tree bit me off. If you don't want large pine trees in your backyard, don't buy a house with large pine trees in the backyard. Those things take decades to get that big and tons of people would love to have them back there. Reply Share 765
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  • 20
    Ok-Thing-2222 2 days ago You would hate to come to our city, which used to be known as a tree city. They decided a sewerline renovation project should involve taking out the 150 yr old oaks that line our streets and made a lovely canopy, shading our homes. They were beautiful. They cut them all down. It looks like now, like a barren, trashy, hot, ugly neighborhood, nothing like what my children got to experience. Its gawdawful and disgusting. It makes me sick every day. 346 Reply Share
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  • 21
    bothunter 2 days ago Oof.. Neighbor cut down a bunch of trees without consulting an arborist, and then built a giant "retaining wall" out of cinderblocks? They're just begging for their house to slide down hill and probably take OP's house with it. 95 Reply Share greentea1985 - 2 days ago Also massive flooding issues. They just destroyed all the drainage for themselves and their neighbors Reply Share 52 ●●●
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  • 22
    bothunter 2 days ago Yeah. The neighbor is lucky they're being forced to fix it before they get sued by all their neighbors for all the damage their landscaping is about to do to the neighborhood. 13 Reply Share
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  • 23
    UnicornSheets - 2 days ago I worked at a landscape design/ install business for a summer. One of the owners was a trust fund kid all grown up with a house right on the ocean. He asked me to make plans for him to fix up his beach house yard and nearby boat launch. I protested once I saw what he wanted included land in the tidal areas. I told him he needed permits he laughed and told me to do it anyway. I never did and left the company not too much later. Heard through the grape vine he dumped tru
    via u/TenebrousSunshine

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