29 Funny Amazon Product Reviews That Tell It Like It Is

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Mar 12, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

Not to line Jeff Bezos' pockets even further, but Amazon Prime is so convenient. I live in a 4th-floor walkup in a big city, so doing errand runs where I'm bringing back a bunch of stuff up the stairs is not always going to work for me. Sometimes I just need something here and there and not have to do any work to get it. 

But this is how they get you. They make it too easy to say no that you forget about all their unsavory business practices. Perhaps we weren't meant to live this conveniently. What do I even need to do with all that extra time? Watch TikTok? Catch up on the latest Love is Blind? That actually sounds kinda nice. Dang, I'm in the clutches of Amazon and I don't know how to get out! At least we can laugh at these funny customer reviews together and forget the conundrum we're in. 

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  • 01
    ✰✰✰✰✰ Well Worth The Wait, November 17, 2013 By HeroLegend555 This review is from: NIKE AIR FOAMPOSITE ONE NRG Style# 521286 MENS (Apparel) Sure these shoes are pricey but you get what you pay for. I worked 60 hours a week all year long and I finally was able to purchase these shoes. I put them on and you could immediately tell these weren't your average $60 sneakers. They may have the same amount of form, comfort, shape and performance but they are WAY more stylish. Like $3,000 stylish. Sometim
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  • 02
    HOME MAN (BEPLADE inding- ME DY OYOTA 6001 ON 1200W NOURYS ✰✰✰✰✰ 4 ports, January 20, 2014 By Daniel Verified Purchase (What's this?) This review is from: HDE USB Wall Charger LED Light Up 4 Port Travel A/C Power Adapter Charger Hub With Interchangeable Plug (Wireless Phone Accessory) My wife and I can now charge all of our devices simultaneously. Now all we fight about is her crippling alcoholism and my unhealthy obsession with Dakota Fanning
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  • 03
    CAUTION: RADIOACTIVE CONTENT URANIUM ORE ACTIVITY: 984PM ✰✰✰✰✰ Great Product, Poor Packaging, May 14, 2009 By Patrick J. McGovern This review is from: Uranium Ore I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.
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  • 04
    <= amazon Amazing Prime a V By Zack - April 1, 2015 Amazon Verified Purchase I bought these for basketball and I could not be happier with the results. The first time I wore them I felt like I had a little indigestion but in reality it was a bald eagle birthing itself from my body drinking kentucky bourbon and smoking a cigar. Said bald eagle placed me gently on its wings and allowed me to dunk all over the team I was playing against (which on an unrelated note was filled with communists). The f
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  • 05
    Creative Arts& Contato Non-Toxic ASTM0-423 Glitter Paillettes Polvillo de brillo For Arts And Crafts Activities Net Wt. 16 OZ (453.56 grams) ✰✰✰✰✰ Great For more then just Arts and Crafts, February 14, 2014 By Brian Spatz Verified Purchase (What's this?) This review is from: Creative Arts by Charles Leonard Glitter, 16 oz. (1 Lb.) Bottle, Multi-Color (41100) (Office Product) So I wake up in the middle of the night in my 2 bedroom apartment. I find me roommate passed out face down on the wooden f
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  • 06
    MICROWAVE FOR ONE SONIA ALLISON SPACEMAKER ✰✰✰✰✰Buy this book, or don't, I don't care anymore, January 10, 2011 By Michael Pemulis This review is from: Microwave for One (Hardcover) It used to be that I got home from work and the only thing I'd want to put in my mouth was the cold barrel of my grandfather's shotgun. Then I discovered Sonia Allison's Chicken Tetrazzini, and now there are two things.
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  • 07
    LEONARDO DICAPRIO AMARTIN SCORSESE PICTURE THE WOLF OF WALL STREET There are no wolves in the movie -_-, 6 May 2016 By Shiva P. This review is from: The Wolf of Wall Street (Blu-ray) There were no wolves in the movie -_-
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  • 08
    ‹ Unsolved Murder Mystery Game - Cold Case File In... travism We won! Verified Purchase Reviewed in Canada on February 11, 2024 I failed at solving my parents murder when I was a kid. I felt like I let them down by not avenging their deaths. But then one day I found this game. Solving this murder mystery has allowed me to let go of my past. Who needs therapy?! Right?! Thank you for your review. Edit it Delete
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  • 09
    < Bounce Dryer Sheets, Fresh Linen Scent, 200 Count travism Verified Purchase Does not bounce! Reviewed in Canada on January 18, 2024 Pattern Name: Dryer Sheets Size : 200 Count (Pack of 1) Despite the name this product does not bounce. They float. False advertising if you ask me. And people often do. Thank you for your review.
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  • 10
    DINA DENON Great cable, but too fast., June 23, 2008 By Matt Sidor This review is from: Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable (Discontinued by Manufacturer) (Electronics) Transmission of music data at rates faster than the speed of light seemed convenient, until I realized I was hearing the music before I actually wanted to play it. Apparently Denon forgot how accustomed most of us are to unidirectional time and the general laws of physics. I tried to get used to this effect but hearing songs play be
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  • 11
    a karen katz lift-the-flap book Where is Baby's Belly Button? m ddddd DO NOT buy this book, you can SEE the ending right on the cover!, April 19, 2012 By PacMan This review is from: Where Is Baby's Belly Button? A Lift-the-Flap Book (Board book) This book is completely misleading. The entire plot revolves around finding Baby's belly button; the title makes this much clear from the beginning. However, there is no mystery. There is no twist. Baby's belly button is right where it's suppose to be, o
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  • 12
    CONE UK Edition A plain-English guide to grammar English Grammar DUMMIES FOR Learn to: • Get down to basics with the rules of English grammar • Improve your writing and verbal communication skills • Brush up on your proofreading abilities • Improve your academic performance and results ✰✰✰✰✰ is the best book!, May 14, 2005 By Nikolai Krestinsky This review is from: English Grammar For Dummies (Paperback) When i first come to America, my english did cause me problems. In Soviet Russia i was stron
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  • 13
    PARA USO CORPORAL RÁPIDO Y EFICAZ PIELES NORMALES DEPILATORIO GEL CREMA FOR MEN Veet WE ✰✰✰✰✰ good product, 15 April 2012 By Dennis This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care) Makes my farts sound louder. The hair must have acted as a interlocking silencer.. I give this the big thumbs up. 5/5
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  • 14
    18501 Beautifully smooth Douceur extraordinaire Easy Glide CONCO 17h35 NEW COUVEAU BIC Ball Pens/Stylos bille 10mm Med/Moy Great product!, 3 Sept. 2012 By A keen skier This review is from: BiC For Her Medium Ballpoint Pen - Black, Box of 12 (Office Product) My husband has never allowed me to write, as he doesn't want me touching mens pens. However when I saw this product, I decided to buy it (using my pocket money) and so far it has been fabulous! Once I had learnt to write, the feminine colour
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  • 15
    < Yincimar Kids Playroom Rug City Life Playmat Kid... travism Verified Purchase This map is garbage. Reviewed in Canada on January 18, 2024 Size : 5.2'x3'3" I got lost on my way to Toronto trying to use this. Totally impractical. When opened it blocks the entire windshield. Who designed this?! Thank you for your review.
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  • 16
    ✰✰✰✰✰ Saved my marriage, July 30, 2012 By Mrs Toledo What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn't already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone.... this is one of the greatest inventions of all time. My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day's banana slices. It's one of those chores NO ONE wants to do! You know, the old "I spent the entire day rearing OUR children, maybe YOU can pitch in a little and cut these bananas?" and of course, "You thin
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  • 17
    < Forehead and Ear Thermometer, Digital Infrared T... travism Verified Purchase Doesn't work like my old thermometer. Reviewed in Canada on February 11, 2024 So this wasn't like my last thermometer. It was not supposed to be inserted rectally. Please don't make my mistake. You'll need a new one. Thank you for your review. Edit Delete
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  • 18
    MOUNTAIN ✰✰✰✰✰ Great compliment for my skin art, May 19, 2009 By overlook1977 Unfortunately I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest, but this shirt is very useful in colder weather.
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  • 19
    O I wear this mask to sing lullabies to my children ..., 24 May 2015 By Sir Chubs Verified Purchase (What is this?) This review is from: Overhead Rubber Penguin Mask Happy Feet Animal Fancy Dress (Toy) I wear this mask to sing lullabies to my children. They are terrified of the mask. Whenever they protest about their bed time, or ask for too many sweets, I whip on the mask, and they soon know who is the King Penguin.
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  • 20
    < Buddha Spices Inc. - Dehydrated Garlic - Ail déshy... travism Verified Purchase I feel Italian AF Reviewed in Canada on January 20, 2024 Style: Dried Garlic Powder Just did a bump of this sweet garlic powder. Wooooooo. What a rush. Everything smells delicious. Thank you for your review.
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  • 21
    VZW Wi-Fi 9:02 PM 31% =amazon prime ✰✰✰✰✰ A fun way to ruin a weekend and blow 100 bucks. By Reid hamlin on February 3, 2018 We took this ball to the beach and after close to 2 hours to pump it up, we pushed it around for about 10 fun filled minutes. That was when the wind picked it up and sent it huddling down the beach at about 40 knots. It destroyed everything in its path. Children screamed in terror at the giant inflatable monster that crushed their sand castles. Grown men were knocked down
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  • 22
    < 14-in-1 Multitool with Safety Locking, Profession... travism Verified Purchase I've got a secret. Reviewed in Canada on January 18, 2024 There is actually a 15th use for this multi tool. This gives it incredible value. If you find a 16th use for it let me know. I doubt you can though. It took me almost a month to get to 15 and I'm pretty smart. Thank you for your review.
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  • 23
    ✰✰✰✰✰ hoping it'd be and electrocute her, 3 July 2015 By Ben Harrison Verified Purchase (What is this?) This review is from: WMA Blue Amazon Kindle Waterproof Case Cover Protective Bag Pouch her kindle would slip out Got this for the Mother in-law for bath time, hoping it'd be ,her kindle would slip out and electrocute her. So far, thing is staying in one piece. Great for for murder. this waterproof kindling,
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  • 24
    Click to open expanded view Lobster Mascot Costume by MaskUS Costumes * 4 customer reviews Price: $2,899.99 & FREE Shipping In Stock. Ships from and sold by Ma Ning. 3 new from $1,439.85
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  • 25
    11 of 13 people found the following review helpful ✰✰Don't Go to Red Lobster Wearing This By annstarrr on June 26, 2012 Since I was mistakenly born into a human body, but am actually a lobster ("trans-crustacean"), I knew this item would complete me. $1,699 is much less than the shell-grafting I had been looking into, so I thought I'd try this out. I thought the non-realistic googly eyes would help me bond with my clients (kind of like a live Disney cartoon?). The response from my clients and ju
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  • 26
    52 of 55 people found the following review helpful ★★★★★ Definitely worth $1,700 By ZB on June 11, 2012 I know what you're thinking. Seventeen Benjamins is a bit much for a lobster costume that looks this goofy, not matter how sturdy it is. Think of all the other things you could buy with $1,700. Think of all the starving children you could feed. Think of all the furniture and bills you'll be paying for instead of feeding children with that $1,700. Now think about just how goofy-looking this cos
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  • 27
    George Washington By on October 10, 2014 Patriotic American Flag TANK 63 customer reviews List Price: $49.95 Price: $9.99 $19.95 & FREE Returns on som and colors. Details Size: Select + Size Chart Fit: As expected (50%) Color: Red Color Name: Red Size Name: Medium | Verified Purchase I wasn't ready for this shirt. I bought it for a 4th of July party, thinking it would be a fun gag shirt. Little did I know. I pulled it out of the box and immediately sank to my knees and wept tears of pure joy, an
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  • 28
    < Large Wood Cutting Board from Canadian Maple - A... travism Verified Purchase Such hard wood. Reviewed in Canada on January 20, 2024 Size : 20x16x1.5 | Material Type: Maple Wood This wood is so hard it makes me feel insecure. Thank you for your review.
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  • 29
    < Fledano Cervical Pillow for Neck and Shoulder Pain, [... travism Great pillow! Verified Purchase Reviewed in Canada on January 29, 2024 Colour Name: White My wife loves this pillow. Very supportive unlike her husband. Why am I like this? Buy this pillow today! Thank you for your review. Delete Edit Dele
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