Bride Sticks to Her Decision Not to Invite Overbearing Stepdad to Her Wedding Despite Family Protest, Setting Example of What Truly Matters at Weddings

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Mar 14, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

Call me irrational, but I think couples should only invite people who make them happy to their wedding. I know, super controversial, but I simply don't understand why the people who are getting married should put up with guests they didn't want in the first place.

I got married in 2020, which for obvious reasons meant that we had to have a smaller wedding than the one we expected to have. So we cut down the guest list to only include our closest friends and family and honestly? It was the best decision we made for the entire wedding. Every single person that was there was so happy to be there and the vibes were just immaculate.

The bride in this Reddit story, also figured out that she does not want people who make her feel bad to attend her wedding, which unfortunately includes her mother's husband. This guy has been terrible towards OP (original poster), and she simply does not need his attitude on the happiest day of her life. OP's mother, is now refusing to come to the wedding without her husband, but OP is sticking to her decision…

Scroll down to read the full tale and the advice that followed. Once you are done, click here to read some hot take about love from Cheezcake's community.

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  • 01
    AITA for not inviting my mom's husband to my wedding?
    via u/deethekid
  • 02
    My mom (63F) got married about 4 years ago to her husband “John" (63M). Their relationship moved quickly. My mom called me one day and asked me to help her
    via u/deethekid
  • 03
    pick out a dress and when I (31F) asked why, she told me about her engagement. The pair dated for about two months prior.
    via u/deethekid
  • 04
    I was hurt that my mom didn't tell me about John before then. When I expressed that, she told me that John had been wanting to meet me and ask for my blessing. I asked why he didn't
    via u/deethekid
  • 05
    attempt either of those things and it turned into a lot of excuses. I met John at the wedding. I have made an effort to be as accepting of their relationship and be kind to John.
    via u/deethekid
  • 06
    My grandpa dd 6 months later and when I went down for the funeral, I tried juggling an anxious dog, planning a funeral, and helping my mom with odds and ends. John criticized everything I did.
    via u/deethekid
  • 07
    My dog was sick and John blamed it on my inability to care for something other than myself. He ended up locking her in a room and didn't tell me while I was looking for her for
    via u/deethekid
  • 08
    about 15 minutes. He also "accidentally" dropped chocolate into my dog's bowl a few times. He made rast comments if he saw I was watching a movie that had
    via u/deethekid
  • 09
    white people in it (I'm Black). He made homophobic comments about folks on TV. He called me stupid for not knowing how to use their pressure cooker. He went on a rant about how I was
    via u/deethekid
  • 10
    disrespecting him by not calling him "dad," even though I've had a relationship with my bio dad my entire life. John even yelled at me at the funeral.
    via u/deethekid
  • 11
    There are many other things John did that made me uncomfortable that I won't get into. I told my mom as these things were happening and she said she would talk to him.
    via u/deethekid
  • 12
    Nothing changed, so I left as soon as the funeral ended. When I got engaged a few months ago, John saw me a few days later at my home and hardly acknowledged me. I
    via u/deethekid
  • 13
    wasn't expecting a congratulations from him. When it came down to telling my mom that I wouldn't like John present for our wedding, she explained he was happy for me and wanted to be there. I
    via u/deethekid
  • 14
    told her that if that was true, he would've sent a text, called, or even acknowledged me when he came over. My fiancé, Dave (29M) has seen all of John's behavior and makes an effort to try to be kind, but
    via u/deethekid
  • 15
    John refuses to acknowledge him. Dave thinks that John may have social anxiety and my therapist agreed that it's possible, but they both agree with me when I say it doesn't excuse his racism, homophobia, or treatment of my dog.
    via u/deethekid
  • 16
    Today, I spoke to my mom again about how John isn't invited to our wedding because he makes us uncomfortable. Dave was adopted by a white family, who will be at the wedding. Most of our wedding
    via u/deethekid
  • 17
    party is a part of the LGBTQ+ community. I don't want any of our guests to feel uncomfortable. My mom now refuses to come to the wedding because of my "unfair biases"
    via u/deethekid
  • 18
    against John. FWIW, my mom. isn't helping pay for any of the wedding. AITA for not inviting John?
    via u/deethekid
  • 19
    TnaJungg 17 hr. ago Partassipant [1] NTA Your mom's husband literally tried to ☐ your dog. If I were you I'd never want to see that man ever nevertheless at your wedding.
    via u/TnaJungg
  • 20
    JazzyKnowsBest13 - 17 hr. ago ☑perintendant [62] NTA. Why would anyone invite John anywhere?
    via u/JazzyKnowsBest13
  • 21
    NorthernLitUp. 17 hr. ago Supreme Court Just- [108] NTA. Unfortunately, your mother won't come without him, but she's made her choice to ignore all the horrible parts about him and the way he's treated you
    via u/NorthernLitUp
  • 22
    and take his side. I'm sorry for that. Hopefully, she will come to her senses at some point, but at the moment, the wedding will be more peaceful without that......." guy."
    via u/NorthernLitUp
  • 23
    MixMasterMilk - 17 hr. ago Partassipant [2] NTA. You may be able to talk more with your mom, but it's unlikely to change her position if she is now blaming his abhorent behavior on you. Should she
    via u/MixMasterMilk
  • 24
    act as though she sees your position and wishes to attend there is 100% probability John will come as well and cause a scene.
    via u/MixMasterMilk
  • 25
    deethekid OP. 17 hr. ago I wish she could see my point of view. We've had many conversations about him over the years and I don't think she wants to hear it.
    via u/deethekid

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family drama guests aita bride groom drama mother wife reddit story husband wedding family stepdad daughter Reddit mom Father
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