Dad of 2 denied at airport check-in after realizing passport got revoked for refusing to pay child support, family leaves him stranded: "It's not my responsibility to remind him to open his mail"

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    AITA for not telling my ex his passport was revoked and causing him to miss his flight?

    "He was denied at check-in"
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    My ex and I have been divorced for 2 years. We have 2 kids (8m, 5f). Everything was great until our daughter was born, and then it's like a switch
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    flipped and he was a completely different person. I held out for as long as I could, but when he began an affair, I filed for divorce.
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    He fought me every step and it took over a year to finalize. During the divorce I was awarded primary custody. He was ordered to pay support, which he has never done. I don't need it, but it would be nice
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    to have it to save for the kids, so I did sign up for enforcement. I don't badger him about it - I know to him it's a way to try to get me to talk to him, I just let enforcement do their thing. Since he's so far behind,
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    they have suspended just about everything they can. They send notices to him when this happens, but I'm sure he doesn't open them.
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    I am a 1st gen American and most of my extended family still lives abroad. My grandmother recently passed away earlier this year and I decided I wanted to visit my family with my kids and see her resting place. Ex and I had some back and forth because I
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    need permission from him to leave the country. He agreed but made a point to tell me that he feels now is a good time to take a vacation and that he was always planning to visit my family's country. I was
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    already anticipating this because following us is something he does EVERY time I take the kids on a trip. My lawyer drafted a document to be signed and notarized that I was being given permission to take
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    our kids out of the country for the specific dates. She also included a clause that he has up until 72 hours prior to the day of travel to revoke his permission. He agreed.
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    The day arrives for us to leave, and I get to the airport with the kids 3 hours before our flight. Things go smoothly and I take the kids to a diner to grab some breakfast. Ex arrives much later, and as
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    we're finishing up I get a call from him. Turns out his passport was revoked due to lack of CS payment. He was denied at check in and there's no way he can get his passport reinstated without paying his arrears in full.
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    Cheezburger Image 10512884480
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    He said that since he can't go, he no longer gives me permission to take them. I reminded him that we are past the 72 hrs for him to deny my travel request. He said that he was going to inform an
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    officer that I was trying to kidnap his children. I told him to do whatever he felt was necessary. Officers did show up at the gate to figure out what was - going on but I had the notarized agreement with me, so they sent us on our way.
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    He kept spamming my phone non stop until we got on the plane, where I was able to turn it off and get some peace for the flight. While we were in the air he called my brother to complain (we met through
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    him and they're still friends) and I have now been given an earful about how cruel it was for me to continue with the trip knowing he wouldn't be able to follow us, and that I didn't tell him on purpose.
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    My mother told him to stay out of it and that it's no longer my responsibility to remind him to open his mail - but some extended family agree with my brother.
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    I don't think I'm the AH for continuing our trip; but I am questioning whether I'm an AH for not giving him a heads up that he should check his passport. I didn't know it was revoked for sure, but I suspected. AITAH?
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    Cheezburger Image 10512884736
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    Edit to add because I keep seeing this and I can't keep up with the comments! He can absolutely afford CS. He is self-employed (hence no garnishment unfortunately), but does well. Him not paying is solely a control tactic. He was NOT happy
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    about the divorce. Now he does whatever he thinks will "punish" me for going through with it. That includes purposely withholding support. However, I make decent money (enough to pay bills, put a little savings away for the kids, and take them to do fun
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    stuff a couple times a year) - so it really doesn't affect me. He knows that the money would go right to the kids savings accounts, but expects me to beg him for it. Eventually it will catch up to him and he'll have to pay it some way or other, it's just him prolonging the inevitable and making things more difficult for himself.
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    Also, I don't know why this isn't clear (at least for 1 person that keeps falsely stating it over and over on different comments), but we were NOT going on vacation together. At all. Nothing was planned together. This was solely a trip for me and the kids.
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    The document stated it was for me and the kids and that I would be taking full responsibility for them. It was not and never was a "WE" are taking the kids on vacation, that was made extremely clear to him and he understood. So him being unable to leave the country for HIS vacation, had absolutely no bearing on OUR trip as they were two distinctly separate travel arrangements.
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    Portes Cates C OP заргу 123 YTIRG
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    ForwardPlenty NTA. Some people hate that there are consequences to his actions. He is the one who didn't pay his child support, thinking that he was somehow punishing you. Child support is for the
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    children, so his not paying makes him an a_h_le, since they are innocents in all this. The fact that he got his passport revoked is entirely on him. He can moan and complain about it but it all comes back to his actions.
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    ImColdandImTired And why would it be on her to tell him his passport was revoked, even if she were notified about it? That's entirely between him and the court.
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    Riverat627 Maybe remind your brother all the money that his buddy should be paying for his niece and nephew and see how he feels about it - NTA
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    readthethings13579 EXACTLY. This man owes his own children so much support money that he is legally not allowed to leave the country, and yet OP is supposedly the bad guy in this scenario? OP'S brother has some serious issues to be choosing this guy over his own niece and nephew.
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    Glassgrl1021 NTA. Ex needs to put on his big boy pants and read his mail. You aren't his mom.

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