Entitled mother gets shut down when the teacher next door refuses to babysit for free: ‘Just because I’m not AT school over the summer doesn't mean I'm your free childcare'

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    Posted by u/Surfergirl7681 AITA for telling my neighbor I'm not her babysitter over the summer.
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    I (38F) have a neighbor, we'll call her Sara (38F). I'm married with 2 girls (8&11), she has 2 boys (8&12). Sara is married but her husband travels a lot for work and she works from home. I am a teacher so I have school breaks and summers "off". Over winter break Sara's kids kept coming over to see if my kids could play. (Play means they have been sent over because they're annoying mom and she's trying to work).
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    Backstory, the kids were friends when they were younger, but as they got older they don't really have much in common and they've drifted apart. Her kids go to a parochial school and my kids go to public school so they don't even have teachers or classmates in
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    common. They don't have a ton in common anymore and when they do play Sara's kids fight, A LOT! (With each other & with my kids). One day over winter break the younger one came to the door to see if my kids could play and I told him they didn't want to play
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    right now. Sara sent me a text saying that she was on a work call and she could really use some time with the boys out of the house. I caved and told my girls to just try and find something they could do together.
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    10 minutes later my oldest came upstairs crying saying that one of the boys made a nasty comment about how boring our house was and it was dumb that I wouldn't let him play Xbox. (The Xbox is my husband's) and it's in our family room where I was doing laundry and watching a show). I told the boys if they were bored they were more than welcome to leave.
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    Now it's almost spring break and Sara just asked if I could watch the boys two days because she has 2 busy work days and I'm "off work". I told her no because we would be on vacation in Florida visiting family. She said ok and "jokingly" said, “I guess I'll just hit you up in the summer". I replied and said
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    that i will NOT be baby sitting her kids over the summer. (True emergencies sure) I said, "I'm sorry, but just because I'm not AT school during the summer does not mean that I am your free childcare" yes, I don't physically go to work over the summer, but I take online classes for my Masters and I teach online summer school. Meaning, I am also working from home.
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    She blew up and me and told me I should help her because she's alone a lot and now that the kids are older it's harder to keep them entertained all day. I told her that I didn't care if the kids played together outside during the summer, but I was not going to be
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    a caretaker or responsible for her kids unless she was going to compensate me. I tried explaining to her that the kids do not get along the way that they used to, my kids don't fight with each other the way her kids fight with each other, and my kids don't really
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    want them to be at our house all the time. Now she's and not speaking and her oldest told my oldest that I'm not a good person because I won't help my neighbor. Am I really the AH because I won't watch her kids over the summer?
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    Antique-Sherbet-7733 20 hr. ago. edited 16 hr. ago Partassipant [1] NTA!!! Nah. Just tell your daughter to tell him he has a bad mom who can't even watch them when she's home. see how she likes that. Or that he's such a bad kid that good neighbors won't watch them for free in the summer. Also what does her opinion mean for you. It should mean nothing. This is a one way relationship where she takes and takes. What do you get in return. The good neighbor award???
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    Surfergirl7681 OP. 20 hr. ago Normally, I don't care if people have a negative opinion of me. However, we do have a lot of mutual friends and she is very gossipy and I am not so I'm more concerned that she would be badmouthing me to other people. I know I shouldn't be concerned about that because I know the other people know that she's a drama queen, but it still bothers me.
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    Antique-Sherbet-7733 20 hr. ago Partassipant [1] You should also gossip and tell people that she sends her kids over unannounced and her kids behave poorly. And be honest. You've put in a lot of work for your students over the year and you deserve to have a little break as well. You need the summer break so you can return to new students in your best mental shape. You staycation is a vacation even if you're home.
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    tomtink1 19 hr. ago Aficionado [13] Even if OP had the easiest job in the world, she's not obliged to do favours for other people. Especially people who don't even ask nicely or appreciate it.
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    Clapped Cheek. 19 hr. ago Partassipant [3] And as far as favors go, "watch after the life of my children" is a fairly large one.
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    Mrs_Gracie2001 - 20 hr. ago NTA Find a list of local summer camps and give it to her 1.4k Reply Share Surfergirl7681 OP 20 hr. ago Brilliant!
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    yrnkween 20 hr. ago NTA. She wants a free babysitter for her undisciplined kids. A 12 year old should be able to keep the 8 year old out of trouble, but it sounds like no one has taught these boys basic manners or how to behave. Just because you live next to her doesn't mean she gets to take advantage of you.
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    MacDhubstep 19 hr. ago Enthusiast [7] I totally agree that her kids should be able to entertain themselves appropriately and quietly at that age. from 8- 12 I was either outside playing tag or inside quietly playing video games. I wasn't bugging my parents ever.
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    Rev Ros 20 hr. ago Enthusiast [9] NTA Suppose you didn't have kids yourself (who also need to looked after and entertained over the summer)? Would she still be asking for free childcare? Would she ask anyone else? Probably not. You are convenient. Stop being convenient.
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    lawfox32 18 hr. ago Partassipant [3] I can easily see: "Oh but you're a teacher, you love kids right, I bet you miss them all summer! Haha isn't it so great you can spend time with mine?"
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    alexis_adeline . 20 hr. ago You set a boundary that your neighbor didn't like. An appropriate boundary. You living in the house next to hers doesn't make you responsible for her kids. 100% NTA
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    Consistent-Leopard 71 20 hr. ago Supreme Court Just- [144] NTA. The fact that "she's alone a lot" is something that Sara needs to take up with her husband. While it would be very generous of you to help her out, ultimately, her kids are her responsibility. You have done nothing wrong here.
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    Resolute Muse · 20 hr. ago Pooperintendant [51] NTA and that's a pretty big brass set she's got to expect not just childcare, but free childcare.
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    Nervous-Jury3715 - 20 hr. ago NTA. You tried being polite and she kept pushing, then she badmouthed you to her kids (who are already mean to your kids). That would be the end of ANY help from me.
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