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Aunt Refuses to Call Her Trans Niece By Her New Name, Every Other Family Member Changes Their First Name in Solidarity

"This has truly driven [this nefarious aunt] away, which was the plan in the first place. Our trans niece makes for better company, so good riddance to one crappy sister!"

Posted by Elna McHilderson
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  • It's 2024, people. You need to start respecting people for being themselves. They're not hurting anyone, but YOU are by not respecting who they are. We are fully LGBTQIA+ supportive here and we're sick of people giving excuses for dropping deadnames. If you don't know what a deadname is, it is the name given to the trans person before they were trans. Usually, after coming out as trans, that person will change their name to something they are more comfortable with. It's your duty, as their friend, family, or loved on, to respect that. You remember your drinking buddy's nickname, but you can't remember your own flesh and blood's new first name? You remember to use “Mrs.” vs “Miss" after a wedding, but you can't remember your trans friend's pronouns? Come on, do better people. 

    Luckily, there are people out there doing better and it restores our faith in humanity. This family has a family member who recently came out as trans. She told everyone her new pronouns and name, and all were supportive… Except for one nefarious aunt. This aunt refused to use the new pronouns and constantly dropped this girl's deadname. Instead of fighting with her every single time, the entire family decided to stop using the nicknames they've used all their lives and switch to their long and complicated full names. So now the aunt had to learn and remember much more complicated names for every single family member. PLUS, they started calling her by her full first name, which she hated. 

    She apparently got the picture, and the family rarely sees her now. They say, “good riddance!”

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  • 1
    "The whole family caught on... Now, she is furious every time she comes to family events!"
    Via rawpixel via freerangestock
  • 2
    I've been calling my sister by her full given name when she deadnames my niece
    Via xandrique
  • 3
    My brother's kid (22f) came out as trans on her 21st birthday about a year ago and changed her name from Lance to Lacey (fake names). Most of our family accepted it and the ones who didn't weren't close anyway, except our sister Eva (45F).
    Via xandrique
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  • 4
    We are a Native American family with a lot of creative names and my sister's birth name is something close to Evangeline, but she decided to go by Eva after a white kid said her name was "rezzed out" (low class/stereotypical name from an Indian reservation). She's insisted on Eva for about 35 years and we all obliged.
    Via xandrique
  • 5
    Now, she's regularly been calling my trans niece by her dead name Lance since she came out as trans so I started calling her Evangeline, which she hates! The whole family caught on and have only been referring to her as Evangeline for about a year now and she is furious every time she comes to family events!
    Via xandrique
  • 6
    Recently she's been calling me by my full first name to bother me. My first name is a portmanteau-hyphenation of my Mom's four sisters name. Something like Alexianna- Dorothique but whackier. People have always called me A.D or Lexi or my brother called me DoDo since he as a kid. I LOVE my full first names but it's cumbersome to use an EIGHT syllable name regularly. Well, my full name caught on with family and friends.
    Via xandrique
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  • 7
    Just to spite Evangeline, we have all reverted back to our full names instead of nicknames. Our dad is no longer Frank, he's Franklin. Our Mom is no longer Roz, she is Rosalin. Brother is no longer Nate, he is Nathaniel, SIL IS NO LONGER Kate, she is Katherine etc. (all fake names) This has truly driven Evangeline away, which was the plan in the. First place. Lacey makes for better company so good riddance to one crappy sister!
    Via xandrique
  • 8
    Flukie42 2 days ago Why do people have no issues with nicknames, but they have issue when a trans kid changes their name? My grandma's name was Elizabeth, but everyone called her "Babe". That's what she liked to be called, and no one had a problem with that. I know many people who go by their middle names for different reasons. That's fine and dandy. OP, your family is awesome... Except for Evangeline
    Via Flukie42
  • 9
    maq0r 1 day ago It's just so weird and rude. I can't fathom someone coming up to me saying "I'm Carla" and then giving them an up and down look "nah I'm calling you Carlos" like WTF is wrong with you rude
    Via maq0r
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  • 10
    purplegummybears . 1 day ago I feel like it's the same as my conservative grandmother asking who the girl is in a gay relationship. I always respond with something along the lines of, "do you normally ask people about their lives? What's your favorite position? Want to hear about some crazy role play my husband and I did?" She gets super grossed out and changes the subject.
    Via purplegummybears
  • 11
    Zehirah 1 day ago Why do people have no issues with nicknames, but they have issue when a trans kid changes their name? For the same reason those same people also usually have no trouble remembering and using "Mrs Husband's Surname" immediately after a wedding ceremony but whine "I forgot" and "it's so haaaarrrdddd" when reminded yet again of someone else's new name.
    Via Zehirah
  • 12
    Middle Schoolis lell 1 day ago . I have an interesting case study in my house right now. My 10 yr old's best friend began using they/them pronouns last year and my daughter tries to remember but often slips up and either corrects herself or someone else corrects her. But a few months ago the same friend changed their name to a more gender- neutral one, and since the day my daughter came home and told me, she's never once used her friend's old name by accident. Makes me wonder what goes on in the
    Via MiddleSchoolis*ell
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  • 13
    Ledzebra 1 day ago People are weird! My mum only ever called me my old name when a car was coming once! And we both found it so funny that her mother instinct to protect me as she named me when I was just born, despite it being a car that I had already seen and she put her arm out and everything. I was 28 at the time! She's great, so is my stepdad. First thing he did when I came out was take off the wooden name decoration from childhood and cut it to resemble my chosen name. Both my brother and
    Via Ledzebra
  • 14
    BojackTrashMan · 1 day ago Right? True allyship in action. So many families could take note of this for any number of internal issues. Instead of everyone tiptoeing around or conforming to the terrible person to not make waves, Everyone has collectively decided to protect and surround the vulnerable person, the person who isn't a bigot. They are simply refusing to extend Eva a level of respect she will not extend to Lacey. Beautiful.
    Via BojackTrashMan
  • 15
    bonnbonnz 2 days ago What a lovely turn of events! You get to hear your full name often, and even if it is 4 syllables long, it should be enjoyed if you like hearing it; and your niece gets to enjoy her name too, I'm sure she also loves hearing the affirmation of her identity from family.
    Via bonnbonnz
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  • 16
    SamuelVimesTrained 1 day ago This is actually pro level revenge - its too good to be 'just' petty. Awesome handling of a hateful person! Well done, all of you.
    Via SamuelVimesTrained

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Tags

deadname protect trans children wholesome lgbtq family drama she/her trans they/them supportive dead name trans friendly trans rights petty revenge what goes around comes around entitled people karma pay back justice served dead name dropping supportive family Reddit native americans karma name changes new name

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