Boyfriend Says His Girlfriend Is 'Unhygienic' And Refuses To Kiss Her Because She Kisses Her Cat On The Forehead

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Mar 20, 2024 10:00 AM EDT

You know, there are some things that we do as cat owners that we know are objectively kind of weird but are completely normal to us. Things like… we talk to our cats. Yep, we're not crazy, we're aware that they don't understand, but that doesn't stop us. We let our cats sleep wherever they want, even if they probably shouldn't be sleeping on the egg carton we just brought into the house. We buy our cats gadgets that, deep in our hearts, we know they will never use just on the off chance that they will. 

We love our cats. We treat them as a part of the family. And these "objectively weird" things are things that make us happy, and we will not stop doing. And that list very much includes kissing our adorable little cats on their adorable little foreheads, and no boyfriend could make us stop doing it. 

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter to start your Caturday with the funniest felines on the internet!

Advertisement
  • 01
    Posted by u/AITA_shower AITA for standing firm on my "lack of hygiene" and choosing cat over bf?
    via u/AITA_shower

    The way that we thought "lack of hygiene" meant… you weren't showering or something, or that you were showering with your cat or… mixing in your cat's shed fur into your soaps or something. Nope. Just a kiss on the forehead. "Lack of hygiene" because of forehead kisses.

  • 02
    First things first, I (24F) have been dating "Kyle" (25M) for two months now. He has started to spend the night.
    via u/AITA_shower

    It is very obvious that this guy has never had any pets in his life. Fur is everywhere when you have one! Whether it's a cat or a dog or any other pet that has fur. It's part of the deal. Heck, it's probably better that you found out about this so early on in the relationship and not when things got significantly more serious between you. 

  • 03
    Kyle never grew up with pets, so my cat has been an “adjustment” to him (his words). My cat "Crumb" (4M) is the most important aspect in my life right now. Like most cat parents, he rules the household. We are very close, since I found him abandoned on the side of the road (as a 3mo old kitten) and nursed him back to health.
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 04
    Crumb is very docile, but hasn't shown any affection or really interest in Kyle. I don't force it. Crumb does as he does.
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 05
    Lately, Kyle has been complaining about Crumb. I guess he walked into my bathroom to see Crumb rubbing his face against my toothbrush (I have one of the electric ones that stands). He was shocked and told me how disgusting it was. I laughed and said "yeah that's not great." He demanded I get a new toothbrush (expensive) and I said no. I just put the toothbrush in a drawer.
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 06
    Next, Kyle says he doesn't like my nightly routine with Crumb. I give Crumb a kiss on the head, stomach and then face before he goes to sleep. He sleeps on my bedside table in a cat bed. If I don't do this routine, he lays on me until I do. I know that's annoying, but that's how it has always been and I love doing it.
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 07
    Well Kyle says I am unhygienic because of this. He says Crumb is dirty (he is inside only and I brush him every day) and even letting him sleep in the bedroom is gross and gets fur everywhere (it doesn't, but Kyle isn't even allergic so). I told him that I put the toothbrush away, but he told me that I took it as a joke and didn't punish Crumb. I tried to explain
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 08
    that you can't punish cats (nor would I want to in this scenario), but he wouldn't hear it. He then went on to say that me kissing Crumb is disgusting, especially his face, and he wouldn't ever kiss me if I kissed Crumb again. He asked me to put Crumb outside the room when he is over, or lock him in a "crate."
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 09
    So I said, "okay bye." Not only is Crumb 10000x more important to me, but I laughed in Kyle's face about never kissing my cat again/keeping him locked.
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 10
    This is where I may be the AH. Kyle told me that I was ruining our future and how mean I am for laughing at his concerns. I felt guilty so I asked a group of my friends and they were split. The pet owners laughed, the
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 11
    non-pet owners said I am in the wrong for not making Kyle feel more comfortable. They said that Kyle wasn't asking me to get rid of Crumb, just compromise with him. They said I was being kinda gross and understand his concerns.
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 12
    TLDR; Bf doesn't like me kissing cat. I said it wasn't going to stop and laughed at him. He and friends call me insensitive and gross. EDIT: Cat tax! hopefully I did this right
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 9896496384
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 9896497920
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 15
    EDIT 2: Woah! I didn't expect this to blow up at all!! I am reading everything, even if I don't reply. I asked Kyle if we could talk tomorrow (since we aren't speaking) and he said yes. I'll let you know how it goes! Thank you for all the input! EDIT 3: More Cat Tax, as requested
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 16
    Cheezburger Image 9896497664
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 17
    krik2019 2 yr. ago Partassipant [1] NTA-Crumb sounds like a great cat! Your boyfriend, not so great. Keep the cat, ditch the boyfriend. You'll be happier. 26.7k Share AITA_shower OP. 2 yr. ago Leave the gun, take the cannoli 12.8k Share
    via u/AITA_shower, u/krik2019
  • 18
    SixWolfie 2 yr. ago edited 2 yr. ago Definitely NTA, the laughing in his face is a bit mean but I don't agree with your friends saying he wasn't asking to get rid of him. Cause you said he said he wanted the cat to go outside or in a crate when he was over. So if you would move in together the cat would be needed to be "not there" for ever
    via u/SixWolfie
  • 19
    AITA_shower OP. 2 yr. ago Woah. I never thought about it like this. How could I have a future with someone that would make me get rid of him if we were to ever progress? I don't think I would want to be with someone who would make me choose - even though I WOULD choose Crumb. ✩ 7.6k Share
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 20
    Posted by u/AITA_shower UPDATE: AITA for standing firm on my "lack of hygiene" and choosing cat over bf?
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 21
    First, I want to thank everyone who took the time to respond, upvote, award, & dm me. I was inundated with responses and really got great feedback from all over the spectrum. It was decided that I was not TA, but there were tons of NA H. I took every comment to heart. Even ToothbrushGate!
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 22
    Convo with Kyle: I wanted to talk bc I wanted to hear his reasoning/give a clean break. Honestly, it was a relatively normal, boring conversation... at first.
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 23
    He apologized for giving me an ultimatum/said that he was just frustrated & would never want to hurt Crumb. I apologized for laughing at him & for making him feel as though his feelings weren't valid.
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 24
    He said that the "pet thing" was new to him & he wants to work at bonding. I asked what he meant by punish/crate. He said that by punish he meant spray with water & he didn't realize cats aren't crate animals. He tried to compromise & say kissing cat's head was gross, but if I brushed my teeth/washed my face after, he would kiss me.
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 25
    The comment I received most was Kyle & I just aren't compatible. So I said that: although I appreciate his apology & trying to compromise, I don't think in the future it would work. Kyle tried to backpedal a bit & say he can learn to be more flexible, but I kinda got a weird feeling.
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 26
    I said it isn't fair to either of us to compromise on our comfort. I restated that Crumb is non- negotiable. He rolled his eyes & asked if I was choosing Crumb over him. He then asked if I was "seriously breaking up with him over a 'stupid animal. This shocked me bc it was a 180 of the previous 15 mins.
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 27
    He said he felt rejected by Crumb and felt if he rejected him first, it would make them even? I said that was concerning bc Crumb is a cat. He asked how I would feel if he kept kissing animals that weren't me. I said I wouldn't care bc they were animals/not a threat. He said I was dense & if I clearly didn't care about his boundary of kissing animals, who is to say that I wouldn't kiss everyone.
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 28
    This especially hurt bc I had previously told him about the stigma of being a queer (bisexual) woman and how everyone assumes we cheat/are promiscuous. I asked if he was jealous of Crumb. He scoffed, said "you're right, this could never work bc you will be a crazy cat lady with no boundaries/hygiene." He said "enjoy being alone forever" & hung up.
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 29
    Going forward, I will make sure to explain my relationship with my cat to future partners. I need to be with someone that loves animals/at least doesn't feel threatened by them. Like a lot of you said, I should be with someone that loves both me & Crumb. To answer one of the most asked questions: I sanitized the toothbrush. I will be getting a new head soon, thanks to my friend. I also got a cap for it.
    via u/AITA_shower
  • 30
    Thank you for being a part of this journey with me. If you are interested in future updates, I can post them on my own page. <3
    via u/AITA_shower

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

cat thread cute lol funny cats viral silly Reddit Cats funny
Scroll Down For The Next Article