‘You filmed me behind my back’: Stay-at-home-mom Finds Out Her Husband Has a Secret Account of Her Taking Care of the Baby and Calling Her a ‘Tradwife,’ So She Files for Divorce

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Apr 16, 2024 2:00 PM EDT

Hey there girls. In all things shocking, dramatic, and girly, we want to introduce this particularly interesting Reddit story. 

In our modern era of social media, and cameras on our phones, nearly anything is possible. Privacy is tampered with and untrustworthy. We may think we know someone in person, but then they turn on us and act in a completely different way when we see their online persona. It's a bit scary to live in a world where there are so many surprises to our daily lives, and the unpredictability of interpersonal relationships. 

Every aspect of living has a new light shining on it. Our very reality can be taken from us in an instant, and every betrayal can be exposed before our very eyes. Imagine seeing that your husband has been filming and sharing content of you that you didn't consent to. It's a big red flag, and a breachment of trust. 

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  • 01
    : r/AITAH • 15 hr. ago Throwaway-tradwife82 WIBTA for wanting to divorce my(39F) because he(41M) calls me a tradwife...
    via u/Throwaway-tradwife82
  • 02
    I am a SAHM. I left my career to stay home with our child (3F) a little over a year ago. She's autistic, and requires a lot of support.
    via u/Throwaway-tradwife82
  • 03
    Being a SAHP was never in my plan. I do not like being without my own money. My husband makes a decent living for us as the sole earner. All that being said I have taken to the role fairly easily. I enjoy meal planning, cooking & baking. Generally experimenting in the kitchen. I built a small garden in our backyard, and I do majority of the cleaning. When my husband is home he also does chores and parenting. He's not one for traditional gender roles or so I
    via u/Throwaway-tradwife82
  • 04
    thought (We've been together for 10 years). I was vacuuming his office about a week ago. He'd left his monitor on before he left for work. Not uncommon, and I went to shut it off. What threw me is that he had X/Twitter open. At first I was just confused by the posts about tradwives, until I saw a picture of me getting something out of the oven. The more I looked. This was his
    via u/Throwaway-tradwife82
  • 05
    account and he was bragging about having a tradwife. Lying about our dynamics. There were other pics of me in the garden and one of me reading a story to our daughter. Thank God her face wasn't in it. I was so upset, angry and creeped out.
    via u/Throwaway-tradwife82
  • 06
    I didn't even think, I just called his phone and when he answered I snapped. I don't even really remember what I said. I do remember him saying to calm down and it was just silly posting. After that I told him I want a divorce, that he was a creep and hung up. He of course came straight home. We argued a bit, but I have fairly strict routine I keep with my daughter. He made me promise we'd talk at night. We did, and he showed me he deleted the account.
    via u/Throwaway-tradwife82
  • 07
    It's been a week and my anger hasn't calmed down at all. This is not the man I thought I knew. He says it started as a joke, and got out of control because he liked the attention. So Reddit WIBTA if I divorced my husband for pretending I'm a trad wife online?
    via u/Throwaway-tradwife82
  • 08
    Edit: I'm going to answer some questions now that my daughter is in bed. Yes, I am a traditional wife. I am not a #tradwife. Since our dating years I've always made it known that I wanted an equal partner. I did not want weird gender roles forced on any children we might have. He always agreed and is self identified as a feminist.
    via u/Throwaway-tradwife82
  • 09
    I have been mostly avoiding him. I have a temper, and I don't want to be mean to him. So I've been keeping my distance. We've been sleeping in separate rooms, but trying to act normal around my daughter.
    via u/Throwaway-tradwife82
  • 10
    No, there have been no other glaringly bad issues in our marriage. A couple of times early on he would crash at friends houses after a night out, and not communicate he where he was. After we talked about it he never did it again.
    via u/Throwaway-tradwife82
  • 11
    I do not regret being a stay at home parent or resent my daughter. She is a sweet girl with a lot of challenges in front of her. We're doing our best to get her early interventions, therapies and etc. My husband has other social media. These photos never showed up on them. Not as an appreciation post our families could see. Yes, I do expect him to ask my permission to post me. Or in the very least that he let
    via u/Throwaway-tradwife82
  • 12
    me know he has posted me. We do not under any circumstances post pictures of our daughters face online. We agreed on that 5 years before we had her. There were about 30 posts that I saw. Yes, my face was visible. I didn't read them all. My head started to spin after seeing the one with my daughter. The caption was something like "I thank Jesus everyday for
    via u/Throwaway-tradwife82
  • 13
    these beautiful ladies." My husband is an Atheist. I'm going to try and have a conversation soon. I'm not sure when. I need to be in a less easily set off head space. Because I just can't get over the sneaking and lying. It's so bizarre.
    via u/Throwaway-tradwife82
  • 14
    tiggnduff • 12h ago • Edited 10h ago tradwife is more than a wife that stays home and cooks cleans looks after children. It also comes with a connotation of a wife that is submissive, husband's opinion is the only opinion. The "head of household" idea where the wife is not just a SAHM/SAHW but has no say in decisions be they financial or
    via u/tiggnduff
  • 15
    otherwise. So "tradwife" is not the same as a couple that mutually decides that a spouse will focus on the home and one on with earning but be equal partners.
    via u/tiggnduff
  • 16
    Efficient-Tart4412 • 14h ago NTA, this is really weird and creepy. 1. Posting photos of you without your knowledge or consent (especially to show strangers on the internet) is not something a caring partner does. 2. He's intentionally twisting the perception of your relationship to suit a fantasy of a subservient
    via u/Efficient-Tart4412
  • 17
    wife, and getting validation from random people. There's something deeper here, and I have a bad feeling it ends in realizing your husband has swallowed the red-pill kool-aid.
    via u/Efficient-Tart4412
  • 18
    Start an exit strategy in case you need. it. Reach out to trusted friends and family. Get things prepared for yourself and your daughter on the chance you need to leave. He's shown you who he is, believe him the first time.
    via u/Efficient-Tart4412
  • 19
    Friendly-Client6242 14h ago • You may also want to dig a little deeper and make sure your overall morals and values line up. “Tradwife” popularization is right-wing extremist propaganda.
    via u/Friendly-Client6242
  • 20
    | Prestigious_Time_138 • 14h ago NTA, he's DISGUSTING.
    via u/Prestigious_Time_138

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