‘Forget about it’: Woman Demands Ex-Boyfriend Pay For Half Her Trip Despite Split and Him Not Being Able to Join

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Apr 23, 2024 8:00 AM EDT

In a relationship, there are two possible outcomes. In the first, the couple lives happily ever after, but in the second, they split up and decide to lead completely separate lives.

A frustrated man who had just been dumped tells his story below. The original poster (OP) and his ex-partner worked together to decide what would be the best course of action in the given situation after their separation, and they subsequently split peacefully. All that changed, though, when OP's girlfriend texted him to inform him that she would still be traveling with her friend on a girl's trip and would be using the airline tickets and Airbnb reservation they had made together.

Having said that, be sure to read the story below if you're interested in learning more about what transpired and whether or not OP complied with his ex-girlfriend's requests! After you've done reading, don't forget to check out the story of the boyfriend who, in trying to respect his Chinese girlfriend's parents' customs, ends up offending them!

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  • 01
    She said OK, but I actually needed to pay her for my ticket and half of the cost of hers because she can't use it now. Basically, she says that she agreed to buy two plane tickets under the understanding that we would both go to on the trip. And I agreed to pay for an AirBnb under the same understanding. But since that's not happening, we should evenly share the lost costs. Since I'm still using the room and my ticket, the only lost cost is her $800 ticket. And we should each bear $400 from that
    via canva
  • 02
    AITA for refusing to pay for half of my ex-girlfriend's flight that she can't use because we broke up, and now possibly not even mine?
    via u/ProfessorBig5078
  • 03
    My girlfriend (F24) and I (M25) broke up about two weeks ago. It was more her call than mine, but we both knew things weren't going well for a while. So, I was sad but not surprised. We ended things amicably and said we'd still be friends, whatever that means. Anyway, we did the exchange of things in each other's apartment a couple days after the
    via u/ProfessorBig5078
  • 04
    break up and then didn't talk again until two days ago when she texted me. We had been planning to go on a trip to the Canary Islands this year. The plane tickets were about $800 a piece and the AirBnb was like $1600, so we decided I'd just pay for the AirBnb and she'd pay for the flights. The flights were non-refundable and we're already past the date that I'd get any
    via u/ProfessorBig5078
  • 05
    meaningful refund from the AirBnb, so I decided I'd just get a friend to split the AirBnb and go anyway. I had been planning on telling my ex that I'd pay her for my ticket so she didn't lose the money, but she texted me about it first. On Friday, she offered to pay me for the AirBnb minus the cost of my plane ticket, because she was still interested in going with a friend. I
    via u/ProfessorBig5078
  • 06
    told her that I was actually planning on going with a friend, and I was going to pay her for my ticket and still go. She said OK, but I actually needed to pay her for my ticket and half of the cost of hers because she can't use it now. Basically, she says that she agreed to buy two plane tickets under the understanding that we would both go to on the trip. And I agreed to pay for an
    via u/ProfessorBig5078
  • 07
    AirBnb under the same understanding. But since that's not happening, we should evenly share the lost costs. Since I'm still using the room and my ticket, the only lost cost is her $800 ticket. And we should each bear $400 from that. I told her that I didn't think that's fair at all. First of all, it was her idea to break up. So the reason we aren't going is on her. Second, there's no reason why she can't use her ticket.
    via u/ProfessorBig5078
  • 08
    She should just get an airbnb and still go with her friend. I even said I'd sit in her friend's seat and let her friend in my seat so they can sit together. Whether or not she uses her ticket is on her, and she bears any cost of that. She said she didn't want to go at the same time as me and also the good AirBnbs are taken for that time. Anyway, we went back and forth and she even threatened to cancel
    via u/ProfessorBig5078
  • 09
    the tickets even though she can't get any money back. So I said, “You know what, go ahead cancel them, get whatever refund you can. I'll just buy my own ticket and not pay you back anything." She said, “I'm not gonna talk to you if you're being a d k. Let's talk about this later when you can be mature.”
    via u/ProfessorBig5078
  • 10
    That's where it is right now. My friends are divided. Most say I should at least pay her for my ticket. Which I'm willing to do if she doesn't cancel it! But some say I should pay for half of hers as well. I'm sticking firm that I won't pay for half of her ticket, AITA?
    via u/ProfessorBig5078
  • 11
    13 hr. ago · edited 13 hr. ago Sea-Tea-4130 Colo-rectal Surgeon [34] . NTA-at this point, do not engage her about this trip again. You already said the original agreement was she buy the tix and you do the airbnb so she can't come at you for repayment because the original agreement was not breeched. Let her keep the ticket and simply buy you & your friend your own.
    via u/Sea-Tea-4130
  • 12
    You may even find a better deal on tickets the closer to your trip. I have a friend who retired (executive position at an airport) and he goes on a website that he says gives the best prices and comparisons (airfarewatchdog). Go and have fun.
    via u/Sea-Tea-4130
  • 13
    ProfessorBig5078 OP 13 hr. ago Thanks. I feel bad letting her be out the cost of my ticket when I'll still need to buy a ticket. Like that's just an extra $800 going to the airline that really doesn't need to happen. But I also don't want to have to worry about my flight getting cancelled the day before I leave or something.
    via u/ProfessorBig5078
  • 14
    Night Owl_26. 13 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [21] Contact the airline and let them know there's a ticket booked in your name but you no longer have contact with the purchaser. See what they can do.
    via u/Night_Owl_26
  • 15
    desska00 · 5 hr. ago This. I attempted to cancel a flight I purchased in my exes name and get my money back. They said they couldn't cancel his flight, he would have to, and he would keep the flight credit. Needless to say, I buuut I opted to eat was
    via u/desska00
  • 16
    that $200 instead of him going on the trip for my own sanity. OP might be able to keep the flight without any issues if she cancels.
    via u/desska00
  • 17
    BulbasaurRanch • 14 hr. ago I don't understand any reason you would pay half her ticket. Like, I don't understand what her logic is in that scenario? Did she have an actual answer as to why she feels like you should half her ticket?
    via u/BulbasaurRanch
  • 18
    ProfessorBig5078 OP 13 hr. ago Yeah it doesn't make sense to me either. Basically, she thinks that us not going on the trip is causing us to lose $800 on a ticket. It's only because of the random way we arranged the payments, me getting the room and her getting the tickets, that results in her losing the $800. It should be a $400 loss each.
    via u/ProfessorBig5078
  • 19
    Lunareclipse196 13 hr. ago It's very simple. She's out the money, she wants it back, and is going to use manipulation tactics to pretend that EVERYONE ELSE ON EARTH would pay her back, no discussion. And she's hoping you fold.
    via u/Lunareclipse196
  • 20
    biswitchstem · 13 hr. ago If she offered $800, it's fair to pay her the same. She didn't offer the $1200. It does S k though, I don't blame her for asking. Her deciding to break up has no bearing in my mind, since breakups are good for both parties. And it does sk that you get the whole vacation without losing any money
    via u/biswitchstem
  • 21
    while she loses the full $800, just because of how you decided to split costs. In short, I don't think you are an if you don't pay her $1200, but I DO think it would be kinder and more respectful if you did.
    via u/biswitchstem
  • 22
    ProfessorBig5078 OP 13 hr. ago Thanks, I actually brought this up and she said she was offering me $800 but would have paid me $1200 if I'd asked for it. And honestly she could still go. Like there are hotels available. If I were in her position, I'd split a hotel room with a friend and still use my ticket.
    via u/ProfessorBig5078
  • 23
    biswitchstem · 13 hr. ago Yeah, easy for her to say, but not necessarily true. Words are cheap. So I don't think I'd weigh that much. I agree, though. I get her feelings of not wanting to go at the same time for sure. Breakups are hard!
    via u/biswitchstem
  • 24
    Justsaying0000 13 hr. ago You both separately wanted to "use" the trip bringing someone else, and since you control the AirBnB, you beat her to it, meaning she'd have to scramble for a new accommodation. She's right - her options are limited now. Why is it fair that YOU get the AirBnB? Because you happen to control that part of the trip? Does it really even it up if she does as you suggest and find another
    via u/Justsaying0000
  • 25
    place? And if she did find a new AirBnB (presumably less desirable and/or more expensive) would you compensate her for the difference? After all, you dictated that the "fair" solution was each of you to do the trip meaning she had to find a new place. You could play the "fair" game round and round on this one.
    via u/Justsaying0000
  • 26
    Bringing up that she broke up with you was irrelevant and signals you're not really thinking objectively about this. Her proposal that you share the loss on this sounds objectively fair. She'd have done what you did (ie, use the plane ticket and the AirBnB w/ another friend) but didn't have the opportunity. Then you'd be looking for a new AirBnB and probably come to the same conclusion she did - not worth it. YTA
    via u/Justsaying0000
  • 27
    • ProfessorBig5078 OP 13 hr. ago Thanks. Yeah, I agree that I'm in be better position here, and there is no way to make this totally fair. I wouldn't want to be in her position with plane tickets. I think the clincher for me is that her original offer to me was to pay for the
    via u/ProfessorBig5078
  • 28
    Airbnb minus my ticket, not minus half of my ticket. Basically, she's just trying to get what she can from me. But I agree there's never going to be a place where we arrive at "fairness".
    via u/ProfessorBig5078

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