Entitled roommate uses student's dishes without permission, refuses to clean them because they're "not her's": 'Those are your dishes'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Apr 28, 2024 10:00 AM EDT

Living with roommates isn't easy. We, especially as grown adults, simply were never meant to be sharing living spaces and close quarters with other grown human beings. 

This is especially true when you're young and move out of your parent's house for the first time. It turns out many of us at that point have yet to learn the essential basic skills that make a functioning human and half-decent roommate. It's generally appealing how many people don't understand the basics of being respectful of other people, their things, and shared spaces.

Of course, things are simultaneously worse when you're still living with a roommate in your 30s and up. (Thanks, rental prices, and real estate market.) Now, everyone is older, more stubborn, and more cantankerous, and some of these same people still haven't learned the basic lessons that they should have when they first started flatting 10+ years prior. Oh, and did I mention that everyone is way more stubborn?

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  • Want proof that living with roommates just doesn't work and is miserable most of the time? Just take a look at all the advice people were giving in the comments of this post, advising the original poster of the thread on what strategies they should use in order to avoid having to deal with their roommate's dirty dishes. Why is this such a widespread problem? Why can't people just wash their darn dishes and take some responsibility? 

  • 01
    "Her logic is basically if she doesn't own it she can use it without cleaning it..."
    via Nathan Dumlao
  • 02
    Haven't done a the dishes in weeks S I'm not sure if this falls under malicious compliance or petty revenge or a combo of both tbh. But anyway, I'm a college student with roommates who love to use my stuff even though we had a roommate agreement and I basically said "ask first" if you'd like. to use my stuff. That lasted a week
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  • 03
    because apparently they think if I let them use my stuff once it gives them permission to do it all the time. I noticed. one roommate in particular had taken a liking to my frying pan and mugs. Specifically, these are 4 identical glass mugs. One day I was doing the dishes and was in a rush to get somewhere and noticed there were two of my mugh in the sink. I went to the girl and said something
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  • 04
    along the lines of hey if you're going to use my mugs please clean them. Then she said okay. I left both in the sink after doing the dishes I used. I come back after a weekend at home to find those two mugs still in there with coffe from 3 days earlier marinating in there and another one of my cups in there. I talk to her multiple other times in the following weeks about how if she plans on using my
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  • 05
    stuff she shall clean it. Once I realized this stuff was not being cleaned I decided, well if people don't wanna clean my stuff that they use, why on earth should I clean my stuff that I use. So I stopped doing my dishes. Funny enough three days later this girl nagged me about doing the dishes, so I said then do yours. And she said that there were none of her things in the sink. I responded with the fact that all
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  • 06
    4 of the mugs she has used are in there and my pan. She said "those are your dishes". Her logic is basically if she doesn't own it she can use it without cleaning it. So I started not only leaving my dishes in the sink but using hers. Anyways I haven't done the dishes in 3. weeks. If it bothers her so much she would clean her stuff that I used but apparently according to her I have to clean them because I used it. Hypocrites are so funny to mess with
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  • 07
    9lobaldude 1d ago Clean your stuff, remove it and then. start using her stuff without cleaning it ✩ 1.3K ↑ Share
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  • 08
    • penlowe 1d ago So I ran into that in college. There were three of us. Roomie J made tuna helper then left for the weekend leaving the stinky pot in the sink. Roomie R, who was the kindest, sweetest, most passive roomie I ever had was done with the antics and took all her dirty dishes and put them on her bed. Not dumped, just placed. J never did that again. 160 ↑ Share
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  • 09
    Available-Rule-156 1d ago • What you really should do is clean them and remove all of your stuff from being used by other people:) ↑ Share 240
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  • 10
    • DVDragOnIn 1d ago If I were you, I'd keep my dishes and pans in my room, clean, when I'm not using them. ↑ 61 R ↑ Share
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  • 11
    Kineth 1d ago • Oh there's no way I wouldn't have actually screamed at her and raised if she tried to say "but they're your dishes" after using them. 33 R ↑ Share ...
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  • 12
    Just_dirty_secrets • 1d ago Lol I just moved all my dishes to my (locked) bedroom. Then she COULDN'T use them. When she complained I just gave her a wierd look and played dumb like, "Why does it bother YOU that MY stuff is in MY room? I thought you'd be happy for the extra space?" ↑ 21 R ↑ Share
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  • 13
    toxicoke • 1d ago "haven't done a the dishes" are you mario? 13 R ↑ ↑ Share
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  • 14
    • joshistaken 1d ago Had the same issue in college. Just ended up hating all of my flatmates guts cause they all lived like pigs. Ugh, still get chills just thinking back ☐ R ✓ Share 10
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  • 15
    redditavenger2019 . 1d ago Put your pans and dishes in your room. Deny your roommates their use 10 R ✓ Share ...
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  • 16
    Unndunn1 · 20h ago • I had a roommate who never washed his dishes. I had friends coming over for a visit so I took his dirty dishes out of the sink and put them on a towel on his bed. Needless to say he wasn't amused, but he did start doing his dishes ✰ Vote ☐ 1 Share
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  • 17
    bigmikeyfla • 17h ago On a similar note - I had a roommate who didn't like the way I washed dishes. He decided to put his dishes in his room and leave me one knife, spoon, fork dish and glass. I was fine with that and washed them as I used them. My petty revenge? I was the cook in the house. I stopped cooking for everyone and just cooked smaller portions just for me. ✰ Vote ↑ Share
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  • 18
    nephilimdirtbag . 1d ago Keep your stuff in your room. Use it, clean it, keep it in your closet. It'll be a bit annoying at first but she'll get the point. lol ↑ 6 Re ↑ Share ...
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  • 19
    • RayelnWA 20h ago Just keep your stuff in your room. Wash it all now and remove it from the kitchen. And make sure your door has a lock on it. Easy peasy. ↑ Share Vote
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  • 20
    Mental_Cat_1293 • 15h ago Your roommate isn't going to change. So you have to adapt in a way that works for you without resentment or live alone. It say but take it from me I've been there too many times. to Vote ↑ Share
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  • 21
    CaptainSloth269 · 1d ago • I lived in a kinda similar situation with a pair of lazy slobs. I'm not the quickest to clean my mess but this pair took the . I ended up washing my stuff and taking it back with me to my room every night. If I used something of theirs if go by my own. ☆ 5 ♡ Re ↑ Share
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  • 22
    Gnarly_314 • 17h ago My daughter used a giant IKEA bag and put a padlock through the top. ◆ Vote ↑ Share
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  • 23
    • tealpeace 12h ago I had a roommate similar to that. Used my dishes, left them dirty, spilled stuff on my table and didn't bother to wipe it off. One day while she was in class I carted it all up to my room and installed a padlock on the door, stripping the screws. Later I saw the hinge was bent but she never got in Vote ↑ Share
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  • 24
    Substantial_Tough325 12h ago . I'd be putting my clean things in my space behind a locked door. If she doesn't value or appreciate your willingness to share items if asked, then she doesn't deserve their availability. She can either be a responsible room mate or she can be a disliked room mate. Vote ↑ Share ...
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entitled roommate revenge roommates petty revenge malicious compliance entitled people psycho roommate entitled roommate
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