Parents furious when daughter elopes after they gave her $50,000 for wedding: 'We used the check for a down payment on a house'

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole ⚫ 2 days ago • Important-Writing889 AITA for accepting money from my parents for my wedding then eloping.
  • 02
    My parents gave each of my brothers $50,000 when they graduated from university as a downpayment on their home. When I graduated they did not do the same for me. I asked about it and they said my husband should provide. I wasn't married. I still lived at home.
  • 03
    Three years later I met my husband. We dated for a year and then we got engaged. My parents were overjoyed. When we set a date they gave me a check for $50,000 to pay for the wedding. ?
  • 04
    I took the check and we eloped. We then used the check for a downpayment on a house. My husband had a similar amount saved up so we are in a good spot with equity.
  • 05
    My parents bare furious that they didn't get a big wedding for all their friends and family to attend.
  • 06
    They said that they gave me the money for a wedding. My argument is that I got married and had leftover money. Accurate in my books.
  • 07
    My brothers are on their side so I am here to ask if I'm in the wrong. AITA?
  • 08
    A_Dog_Chasing_Cars • 2d ago Partassipant [3] NTA, your family is being horrible and is using double standard. a They didn't expect your brothers to use that money for a big wedding, but you have to. They wouldn't have helped you get a home unless it was through marriage, but your brothers didn't have that condition and just got the money.
  • 09
    And they expected you to have a huge wedding so that they could have fun. Saving up the money is the responsible thing to do and they're being bad parents if they'd rather you spent it all in a huge wedding you don't even want.
  • 10
    Pondering-Out-Loud Aficionado [13] • 2d ago If, for example, this concerned money set aside for education, I'd judge you in the wrong. But 50k for a wedding when your brothers got that same amount for a home is outrageous. Seriously, what the heck where they thinking? "Hi, daughter dear. Rather than giving you 50k to set you up quite comfortably housing-wise, we want you to burn through it for a single day called 'wedding'. You see, you have melons up top
  • 11
    rather than ping pong and a sausage down below, so what on earth makes you think you need financial security? Us having fun at that party and being able to brag about it for decades is way more important!" Misogyny aside... I also loathe the fact that they wouldn't have given it to you if you'd preferred to remain single. It's basically bullying you into marriage.
  • 12
    ΝΤΑ And if it costs you your relationship with your parents... That might be better in the long run in any case.
  • 13
    NurseExMachina 2d ago I would invite them to an impromptu wedding ceremony in the backyard of your new house and thank them for funding this special day.
  • 14
    celticmusebooks . 2d ago Is this some 3rd world culture thing where boys get everything and girls are just fluff? Tell your parents "Welcome to the 21st century where daughters and sons are equal." NTA enjoy your husband and your new home!
  • 15
    • Longjumping-Lab-1916 2d ago Edited 2d ago Aficionado [13] NTA. You found a loophole. It seems odd they gave you the money outright vs paying the wedding invoices. Sorry your parents have double standards.
  • 16
    Good-Statement-9658 • 2d ago Gifts don't come with strings attached. Methods of control come with strings. attached. Good for you on cutting the strings They give you $50k for your wedding. You used the money for the wedding. They didn't specify how much you had to spend
  • 17
    dncrmom • 2d ago Enthusiast [5] NTA you used the money for a down payment on your home, just like your brothers. If your parents want a huge party, tell them to host a vow renewal for themselves. A home and successful marriage is much more important & lasting than a wedding reception.
  • 18
    Reasonable_Access_62 • 2d ago | encouraged my daughter to elope & take the $$$$$. Sadly I payed for a beautiful wedding

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