'Go home, mom': Family bands together to get even with grandma who used her spare key to enter their home without permission

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    "Go home, mom."
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    JNMILITW and the Emergency Key MIL in the wild
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    I have lurked some time, but have never posted, as I have an angel for a mother-in-law and a sane human for a mother. However, I have a truckload of stories about OTHER people's moms/mothers-in- law. This incident just happened, and I finally decided to share. (It's on the long side, but really, I had to record it fully for accuracy.) Quick bit of background: I live in an apartment complex. Two-story buildings, with outdoor stairwells that are used by four apartments on each level. I have a fron
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    each other. There's a husband, wife, and two boys (one's fifteen, the other's about nine). I am sitting on the couch, reading, when I suddenly hear a commotion outside. A bunch of shouting, feet running up and down the stairwell, general hysteria. I look out the window, and it's my upstairs neighbors, who are apparently losing their fing minds as a family unit. Husband is literally running in circles, clutching his head, yelling "Oh my God, is it Dad?! It's Dad! What's wrong with Dad?! Oh my God
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    naming off members of his entire family tree, as far as I can tell, and bewailing their as-yet-unknown conditions. Wife is standing on the grass, swaying back and forth, flailing her arms like a wacky-inflatable-arm- flailing-tube-man, alternating between making this yodeling "alalalalala" noise and yelling to the kids to "hurry, hurry, get the extinguisher, get the go-bag, grab everything, go go go!"
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    The older boy is dashing in and out of their apartment and up and down the stairs at full speed (while still using the handrail; good kid) and spouting garbled literary lines like "To the last, I grapple with thee; from hell's heart, I stab at thee!" and "Out, out of the carpet, da ed spot!", to pick just two examples. The younger boy is doing laps around the wife, trying to howl like a siren, but breaking up into completely justifiable giggles. Then I start hearing these huge whiny sobs, and at
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    wife and raise my eyebrows, and she just winks at me in between "alalalala"s. I move out of the stairwell just enough to look up and see what's happening in front of their apartment. The husband's mother is up on the landing, staring in shock. She begins sobbing, "Why are you doooooing thiiiiiis?! What's wrooooong with youuuuu all?! What's goooooing oooonnn?!"
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    Just like that... the husband stops running. The wife stops flailing. The kids stop sprinting. All four of them gather at the foot of the stairs, staring up at the husband's mom. Husband: "Mom, we have told you ten times if we've told you once. We gave you that key to use ONLY IN EMERGENCIES. We've also told you ten times if we've told you once to call or text us before you come over. Since you just unlocked our door and walked in, unannounced, using your EMERGENCY KEY, there must therefore BE A
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    Off go the kids, now running around in the parking lot. Off goes the wife, running with them, going "alalalala". Off go my ribs, because I absolutely can't hold back the laughter any more. The mother bursts into tears. "I just wanted to come by and see my graaaaandbaaaaabies! I wanted to drop off some presents!" Husband: "And we've told you that you need to call first, and not just let yourself in." Mother: "But you weren't answering your phooooones!"
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    Husband: "You should have taken that hint that we DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU TONIGHT. We were going to stop by next weekend, like we arranged, but now we're going to have to cancel those plans because you broke the very simple rules we requested that you follow. Go home, Mom." Mother: "Your father won't let you do this! Your father will hear about this!" Husband: "You think?" Husband takes his cell phone out of his shirt pocket and holds it up to show a connected call. He thumbs it to speakerpho
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    Father: "[Mother's name], YOU COME HOME RIGHT NOW." Cue renewed outburst of sobs and backpedaling from Mother. Father has a voice like James Earl Jones with a head cold. He is not yelling hysterically, but speaking in an incredibly calm, level voice that drops words out of the speaker like lead bricks. He's not letting her get a breath in edgewise, just repeating, "GET HOME RIGHT NOW, WE ARE GOING TO TALK."
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    Mother looks around and realizes that I am not the only person who's staring; other neighbors have popped out to see what in hell is happening. Wife and kids have stopped running and are sprawled on the grass, laughing. Mother draws herself up, then reaches towards the apartment door, presumably to get her key. Husband: "LEAVE THAT KEY WHERE IT IS." Mother: "But!" Husband and Father (at the same time): "LEAVE IT."
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    Mother recoils like the doorknob just turned into a live rattlesnake and comes stumbling down the stairs. The sobbing is drying up, and now she's just looking mortified and ped off. She stomps past her son, who just turns to track her with the phone; she stomps past her daughter-in-law and grandkids, who are still lying on the grass having giggle bursts; she stomps past the other neighbors who are rubbernecking, and she gets in her car and GOES AWAY. And I go back into my apartment and head for
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    ladyrage8. Holy. it. I just now came here from someone else's summoning you, but HOLY. SI T. I am BROKEN laughing.
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    illogictc Lucky, you got to watch a sitcom unfold in real life. I should be asleep now but I am still laughing too hard.
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    ThrowingAccsIsRude This is almost as glorious as the view my sides are probably getting of Jupiter right about now. Share DoktorOsiris 6 yr. ago That kid is going places. Share
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    cameupblank I tried to look at the pictures from my kitty's last day today, and I was crying pretty bad. Dh came and read this to me. Thank you for chasing away the sadmonster. Share
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    [deleted] I almost died inhaling the crisp I was eating when I opened this. Amazing. Share
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    pixiepoet. This story is possibly one of the best laughs I have heard in a long time! That family deserves a medal and the father in law was amazing too.
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    rainbowbrighteyes Omg! Thank you for being our scribe so thst this story can live eternally in the JustNoMIL cannon. You described the scene so well... please take your neighbor's cookies or hugs from us all! The Emergency-Situation-Mother-in-Law system is beautiful! I'm still laughing/crying at: "get the go bag!" And dan if reciting Shakespeare is not fu ng hilarious. He would be proud at the comedy of the absurd that they put on for a nosy-a-mil. People of JustNoMIL: This is a united front aga
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    never tolerate your kids acting like a les- don't show your kids that some people are "to be respected” when they don't follow society's rules. (This is easy for me to say bc my in-laws were amazing and I don't have kids...so take it with a grain of salt, as always) I LOVE this.

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